And nothing else
by Kitty Black Cat
Summary: Post episode of June 17th. Reid said that he would do nothing else but his job. Just how far along that line will he go? NEW Chapters summaries in Chap 13.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT and unfortunately I don't own Reid Oliver either *sniff, sniff***

**AN:** Once again, when I opened Word to work on "Le choix du Coeur" , it was something else entirely that decided to pop up. I've been thinking about this since yesterday and it was driving me nuts not to write it, so voilà!

**And nothing else**

**Chapter 1**

Reid Oliver felt his chest constrict painfully as he watched Luke walk away from him. He should have known. He actually had known down in his gut that Bob's ultimatum would rip his world apart. He had tried to find a solution, he really had. He thought that waiting a few months to get together with Luke wouldn't be so bad. He had already waited for Luke for months now. Ok, it had been and would have been hell not to be with Luke immediately, but it was better than losing the one thing he could always depend on, his calling in life. Apparently, Luke and he didn't see eye to eye on the matter. Why couldn't Luke understand? What he is, is a surgeon (urban cowboy joke aside), nothing else. For years, his self-definition and self-esteem were based solely on his job. To risk losing it, was risking losing himself. He was a successful surgeon, but for everything else? What if he quit his job for Luke only for Luke to realise that Reid isn't what he wanted or figured out how he deserved so much better than a sarcastic jerk like him? It was too big of a risk. He had really thought that Luke could understand. He was with him in Texas after all. He, better than anyone else, knew how crucial Reid's work was for him. But that doesn't mean Luke wouldn't be his priority too! He would have put Luke before his job every single time he would have needed too, that's how much he cared about Luke and wanted things to work out, but he couldn't give up his job altogether. He had always wanted to be a surgeon and he was really good at it. He saved people's life on a regular basis! Why couldn't Luke understand the importance of it?

It was with a painful empty feeling in his gut that Oliver got back in memorial. He felt like nothing mattered anymore. As he told Hughes about his, well Luke's really, decision, he felt completely numb. It didn't matter anymore. Luke couldn't take that Reid wasn't ready to truly fight for him and Reid couldn't take that Luke wasn't ready to wait for him. This whole thing had gotten no where. He should have known. Who was he kidding, really? He had been thinking that he had no true chance with Luke for a while now, but he had kept going after Luke and hoping, even with all the Noah drama and the pain it caused him. He was so stupid. What did he expect? For Luke and him to have a nice little walk-in-the-park-romantic-gestures-relationship? Argh. He wasn't like that before Luke. And now, he wouldn't be like that either. He was done with all this drama. There was a reason he never got personally involve in his patients' life or with anyone really. But then this pompous, blackmailing kid had come into his life and squashed all his prior beliefs. But it was over. Time to move on and get his priorities back on track once and for all. Reid Oliver would be a doctor and nothing else.

Katie Snyder looked at her watch worryingly. Her roommate had been due from his double shift at the hospital hours ago and he still wasn't back. Of course, emergencies happened and you really can't predict when someone will have an accident and need instant brain surgery from the best surgeon in Oakdale, but she still worried. You see, it wouldn't have been so worrisome if it had been the second or third time, but the truth was, this had been going on for probably over two months now. Reid would leave for the hospital and wouldn't come back for hours and hours. He didn't even come back home to make his disgustingly huge sandwiches for lunch or dinner. He was just never there. It wasn't like him at all. Yes, Reid had always been a loner and a slight workaholic, but there was an exception to this rule. Well, three exceptions really: Luke, Jacob and her. As much as Reid loved his job, he also loved her son very, very much and would always take a couple of days off here and there to spend time with him and Katie. It was his way of supporting her and cheering her up. Somehow, the sarcastic doctor who had been dragged in Oakdale against his will had formed a very strong a bond with her and could always tell when she was at her lowest. She missed that guy. He hadn't done any of that in so long and she had been too involved in herself to notice.

You see, the last two months had been emotional hell for Katie Snyder thanks to one Doogie Hughes (she had started to use Reid's nickname for him out of spite. It annoyed him like crazy and normally succeeded in making him leave her alone) kissing her passionately, then avoiding her for two weeks straight, only to start going after her like an almost-stalker and trying to make her discuss the feelings they supposedly had for each other. In other words, he had been driving her up the wall! And that was without the whole Vienna/Henry drama, with them always running to her for help. She had been so occupied by all those things that she had failed to understand the implication of her roommate's changes right away. She saw that he was home less often, that he looked tired, and that he, who talked almost only about Luke, hadn't said his name in forever, but it was as if her preoccupied brain just hadn't made the connections between what she had witnessed and what it implied. But in the last two weeks, things had settled down between Chris and her and he had agreed to give her space and be her friend. And that's when her nerves started to take a hit. In two weeks, she could count on one hand the number of times that she had seen Reid. She was literally a bouncing ball of anxiety. Something was dreadfully wrong, she could feel it. There was this voice in the back of her mind telling her that something bad was going to happen. She needed to see Reid and talk to him. She had a really bad feeling about this. She had to do something to keep herself sane. With a new goal in her mind, Katie dropped Jacob off at Henry's (waking up the couple. Hey, if they wanted to be parents, they had to get used to being awoken at odd hours….that is, if Vienna could actually get pregnant for real) and then she drove to the hospital determined to get answers out of her friend once and for all.

Oliver was the most talented surgeon Memorial Hospital currently had. As such, he was one of the most demanded doctors on staff (Falling second to Doogie Hughes. Oakdale citizens still hadn't quite gotten used to Reid's rather unique bedside manner) Therefore, it was quite normal that he was one of the doctors who worked the most hours. However, there was working, working a lot, working like a workaholic and working yourself to an early grave. In the last two months, Reid Oliver had gone from number 2 well into number 4. But there wasn't any problem with that. The job needed to be done and it was Reid's calling to do it. After all, even hooked solely on tremendous amount of caffeine after working for 57 hours straight (and hiding it from his chief of staff and other employees very well I might add), Reid's mental capacity and natural talent was still superior to most doctors in this hellhole. His patients were fine. Actually, now that he had been living at this rhythm for a while, his patients were better than ever. Missing some sleep for a day or two made Reid cranky. It had caused more than one nurse to either run off angrily, muttering death threats about him or to run off crying into the nearest bathroom. However, while missing a little sleep made him more insupportable than normal, it just happens that missing a lot of sleep and being exhausted had the exact opposite effect on him. It may not look like it but being arrogant, exigent, intransigent, sarcastic, impatient and sometimes downright rude, took a lot of energy. Therefore, Reid Oliver had miraculously become a patient, don't-worry-about-it, I'll-just-take-care-of-it-myself, almost nice doctor. The nurses couldn't be happier. For a couple of weeks that is.

After a while, a couple of nurses started asking themselves questions. Especially, a little blond nurse named Allison. She couldn't help being intrigued, then worried about the huge dark circles under Dr. Oliver's eyes. Now, she had never been a fan of Reid Oliver, and Noah telling Casey and her about Reid and Luke hadn't really worked in his favour, but no matter his faults, he was still a colleague and something seemed wrong. So she started to be more observant when he was concerned. It was actually very hard. Reid was hard to find in the hospital, although he was always there when he was needed. Actually, she slowly started to think that he was there when needed a little too often. She would leave the hospital when he was still there and come back the day after with him still being there and the night nurses talking about how good the night had been even though they had been stucked with Reid Oliver as their affiliated doctor. She soon began to wonder when exactly did Dr. Oliver sleep. She first tried to talk to his chief of staff about it, but Bob Hughes had been extremely busy and seemed quite preoccupied about who knows what, so she had never had enough time with him to be able to bring up Reid Oliver's issue. Next, she had tried approaching the subject with himself. Many times. She kept dropping hints as to how tired he looked or how he could depend more on the nurses, no need to do all the work by himself. However, Reid Oliver was nothing if not a stubborn man. He never listened to her and everything stayed the same. She figured things couldn't be so bad if he reacted that way.

But still, Allison didn't give up. She still thought the man worked way too much and if he didn't make things easier for himself, she would do it for him. So whenever she heard that they would need someone to stay or come to do overtime, Allison hacked into the system and made sure that Dr. Oliver's name was at the bottom of the list and would only be called upon if everyone else said no. It had never happened yet. Then, she made sure she was always working under and whenever a patient who didn't need surgery was assigned to , she would check the other doctors' availability and, when possible, transferred the cases to other doctors without anyone knowing about it. This way, would finally get breaks between patients and be able to relax, and sometimes even nap. Then, when she had skipped lunch a few times because of stomach problems and noticed had done the same, she started dropping sandwiches, yogurt, apples and granola bars anonymously in the doctor's office whenever she could. She happily observed that none of her food ever got thrown in the garbage, only the packing. All the while, Casey had looked at her like she was crazy. He had kept saying that she was imagining things, was working herself up over nothing and really, should mind her own business. But she couldn't quite shake the negative feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. And tonight, she had been proven right. A new very nervous nurse had spilled some of her coffee on Reid. Worried that he could have quite a serious burn, Allison had followed him in the lockers room with a cold wet towel and first aid kit in her hands. The sight that had greeted her had send horror chills up and down her spine. In front of her stood Reid Oliver with a new shirt on and the shirt was wide open. She had never seen Reid's torso before but she knew most nurses had called him "" before he showed them his personality. was a slim man but he had a toned body for sure. Tonight though, what Allison saw were visible ribs pushing again his skin and a stomach that was inwards instead of flat or outwards. He looked like an ANAD awareness add. This couldn't go on any longer. This was way more serious than she had thought. Knowing that Bob Hughes would probably still be unavailable, she did the next best thing: she went to talk to his son.

Chris Hughes was tired. It was late at night and he wanted to go home. However, every month, the chief of staff had to check the employees' charts. Sometimes, some doctors found ways to do a lot of overtime and left the other doctors who might have wanted to do overtime too and make more money, unable to do so. But more often than not, it was simply to check if someone had been taking too many sick days or days off. Normally, Bob Hughes was dealing with this kind of paperwork but he was busy these days and hadn't even had the time to do them last month. Since he would be retiring soon, he had decided that Chris should be the one to do these from now on and had left his son with two months worth of paperwork. He really hated these things. Was it really necessary?

"Chris!" Chris jumped started out of his thoughts. Looking around to see who was calling him, he was accosted with the view of a very distraught looking Katie Snyder.

" Katie, what are you doing here this late? Where's Jacob?"

"I dropped him off at Henry's. Listen, do you know where I can find Reid? He was due home hours ago and he's still hasn't come back yet."

" Maybe he still had some paperwork to do. It's the end of the month. Dad will be checking that everything was done correctly. There's no reason to be this worried"

"Well I think there is. Quite a lot actually" Katie was fidgeting like crazy as she was saying this. Her bad feeling had triple on the way here.

"Reid is almost never home anymore. He hasn't taken a walk or taken care of Jacob in so long I can't remember when was the last time, I can count on one hand the number of times I saw him in the last 14 days, he looked exhausted from the little glimpse of him I was able to see, he hasn't been eating those horrible sandwiches in a while, he never talks to me anymore, he never mentions Luke either, he doesn't go out…"

"Ok, ok Katie, calm down" interrupted Chris. His friend had started babbling so fast she was practically hyperventilating by the end of her speech. "Calm down, Katie. I'm sure everything is just fine ok? We'll just look around the hospital. He's probably just doing a double shift."

"You mean a triple shift, right? He was already doing a double shift today"

"Katie. A triple shift would be working 24 hours straight. There are no such things in Oakdale's hospital"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" interrupted Allison Stewart's worried voice. "I think made triple shifts a very common reality in this hospital need to talk Dr. Hughes."

Reid Oliver took a couple of anti-migraine pills. He had been getting these horrible headaches recently. The kind that makes your head pound while your eyes are attacked by thousands of mini-swords and your stomach wants to vomit so badly you actually get dizzy from it. The pills helped at first, but now he had to take more of them in order to function somewhat properly. He knew it wasn't a good idea to take that many pills in that short amount of time, but he had a job to do and he couldn't do it with a migraine. Besides, it wasn't like it was an every day thing. And at least nowadays, he didn't have to worry about unwanted thoughts coming up in his mind since the headaches kept him from thinking at all. The first week after Luke had definitely put a stop to their whatever-they-had had been hell. He couldn't stop thinking about the younger man. He wanted to go to him and try to fix things up, to explain his decision better. But he knew it was futile. If there was one thing he knew about Luke Snyder, it was that he was the most stubborn kid he had ever met. Beside, Luke leaving was a good thing. Obviously, they would have never worked out. It was better this way. Like Luke had said, it was better to know what the other's priorities were before they got in too deep with each other.

Still, he had missed the other man's presence like crazy. He had tried taking walks since it's supposedly helped clear one's mind, but Oakhell was small and everywhere he went, he was reminded of Luke. Even his own home was filled with memories he really wanted to repress. Therefore, after a week of his heart torturing him relentlessly, Reid Oliver had decided that the only place where he could move on and get better would be at the hospital. So he had started to check out when there was need to do overtime and offered to replace other doctors so they could take a day off to be with their families. It wasn't like Reid had or needed anything else other than his job, so if the other idiots wanted to waste their time with annoying wives, troublesome brats and moronic friends, he was more than glad to take their duty for them. Being a doctor was who he was in the deepest depths of his being. He had a calling and he wouldn't fail to fill it just as he had told Bob Hughes. So Reid put all his energy in his work, pushing away the painful empty void he felt deep down in his soul. It didn't matter that he didn't feel an ounce of pleasure, satisfaction or happiness while doing his job. It didn't matter that he was emotionally numb and tired and felt like everything in the world was a different color of blah and nothingness. Nothing mattered but healing his patients. And sure he had gotten physically tired and had a little trouble keeping up with the job, but he could deal. Although, he really should send a thank you letter to whoever invented those marvellous, though horrible tasting, energy drinks. Coffee was all well and good, but after the first twenty-four hours straight of work, you started to need something a little stronger than regular coffee. He now had an entire drawer filled with emergency energy drinks in his office desk.

Swallowing down his Xth caffeinated drink of the day, he picked up patients charts and started doing his rounds. The night was the least busy time in the hospital, so Reid had to double his effort in order to keep himself occupied. Tonight was no exception, and although it took him a lot more time to do his rounds than normal thanks to his migraine, he still found himself with nothing to do much too quickly. So when a tired intern needed to bring some folders to the next floor, Reid proposed to do it for him so he could take a break. Feeling a little nauseous, Reid decided that taking the stairs would be a much better idea than taking that dreadful elevator. However, as he was running up the stairs, a sudden wave of dizziness hit quite hard. Steadying himself with the wall, he slowly slid down until he was sitting on the stairs, his back to the wall. The world however, didn't stop spinning around him and soon, Reid Oliver's eyes rolled back in head and everything went black. The last thing he recalled was feeling his body falling on his right side.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

If Katie Snyder had been worried when she had arrived at Memorial, she was now in full blown panic mode as she listened to Allison's findings. She could not believe that she hadn't seen this coming. How could she have been so neglectful? She had always prided herself about being a good friend, but obviously she had failed miserably where Reid was concerned. Knowing that her roommate, her confident and probably best friend had apparently lost so much weight was terrifying her. And Chris' findings did nothing to dissipate that fear. After Allison had told of her observations, he had immediately looked for Reid's file to check exactly how much work he had been doing. However, what he saw at first glance didn't seem that extraordinary. Allison, being convinced something was wrong, took a look at the file and was able to identify dates where had replaced doctors so they could take the day off. Checking on the other doctors' files, Chris Hughes soon realized that they all had taken quite a lot of days off in the last two months, yet there were few traces of who had worked in their place. Every time a doctor took a day off yet no replacement was recorded on file, Reid Oliver had been the one doing the replacement.

"My god, Katie. He must have work for 48 hours straight at times. How the hell didn't I notice?"

"Well , it's not secret that you and aren't on the best of terms" Allison answered. "You tend to avoid each other as much as you can and is really sneaky. He made sure nothing was put on file and probably found a way to keep the other doctors to talk to each other about taking a day off, so he wouldn't get caught. He's very good at hiding. It took me a long time to notice he wasn't eating and obviously I had underestimated the situation." Allison added in a voice filled with guilt.

" But you did what you could Allison" Katie reassured her. "And that's more than everyone else can say, me included. You did a good job, ok. It isn't your fault"

"But if I had come to beforehand…"

"It wouldn't have change anything! Chris would have most likely not listened to you and think you were exaggerating!"

"Yes, that's true Allison. Even if you had talked about it, I probably wouldn't have believed you. It makes no sense for Reid to do what he did and Reid is a logical being. I don't see him doing something like that so I wouldn't have thought it possible. I still don't know how it is possible" Chris said incredulously. He really didn't know what Reid could have been thinking. Sure the guy had no personal life, but he still used to get downtime off work. 'Wait a minute..' Chris thought

"Katie did something happen in Reid's personal life? Could he be avoiding a personal issue, trying to distract himself with work?"

"I don't know. He hasn't talked to me about anything. I…" Katie stopped herself to think. A personal matter…Something that could have had a huge effect on Reid, something that would have touched him emotionally…

"Luke" Katie whispered. "Something must have happened with Luke. Allison, have you seen Luke visit Reid recently?"

"Euhm…no. Actually, I haven't seen Luke at the hospital at all since like…two months ago!" Allison exclaimed. That's it! Katie was right. It had something to do with Luke.

"Oh my god I'm so stupid" Allison said "Noah told me about catching Luke and Reid kissing and them probably being an item now. I should have known something was wrong. If they were together Luke would come to the hospital more often not less often."

"Wait a minute" Chris said, his eyes widening. "Luke Snyder and Reid Oliver are dating? Seriously?"

"No" a voice said, surprising them. The older had seen the three of them talking and had been intrigued at the worried looks they had. He had come near enough to hear Chris' questions. "No they aren't dating anymore, if they ever were. It was unethical for the Doctor Oliver, who is the head of the new wing, to have relationship with the main founder of the said new wing. So I asked him to choose"

"WHAT!" came the three voices of Chris, Allison and Katie.

"How is that unethical? Doctors have been dating nurses working under them since I've been here, maybe even since this hospital opened. They work together all the time, not just once in a while like Luke and on the new wing and no one had any problems or complaints about it as long as there was no blatant favouritism towards the nurse dating the doctor" Allison said animatedly.

She couldn't believe the older man would ask to choose between Luke and his job. That man got as excited about doing a surgery as a 5 year-old would be in Santa Claus' workshop where an unlimited amount of toys and candies were given to him. And beside, that man had a 10 inches long stick up his arse when it came to professional behaviour. It was crazy how many times he had given a lecture to interns and nurses about acting too familiarly instead of professionally, and letting personal emotions or situations affect their work. The guy was a freaking robot when it came to his job! And she made sure to tell Bob Hughes all of this with quite an outraged tone since it seemed Katie was much too enraged to open her mouth, let alone move. Allison could swear that if Katie wasn't forcing herself to be completely still, she would jump of Bob Hughes and try to strangle him. Or beat him up to death. Seriously, neither Allison nor Chris had ever seen such a murderous look on anyone's face. 'Note to self' thought Chris. 'Never, **ever** lift a single finger against Reid Oliver. If you do, Katie will most likely castrate you. I really should tell my father to get the hell away as fast as he can'

Bob Hughes was getting tired of having to justify himself on this particular issue. Kim hadn't stopped bringing the subject up in the last two months. She kept saying that Reid had looked somewhat depressed and tired the few times she had seen him. She wouldn't put the subject to rest. He tried to explain again the situation to the trio but neither the nurse nor his son seemed to fully understand or agree with him on the issue, though they admitted that it was out of their hands. Katie Snyder however still looked as outraged as ever.

"I'd tell you what I think of this decision , but I'm afraid I was raised with too much good manners to use that kind of language, especially to someone in your position. So I'll just go look for my roommate and best friend and try my darnest to salvage the disaster that you created. But don't think for one single minute, that this conversation is over. I just like being out of jail too much to do anything but get as far away from you as I can right now." Katie's voice was cold as ice as she uttered those words and she was quick to storm out of there. She didn't trust herself at all at the moment. To force Reid to choose between the only thing he had in his life pre-Oakdale and the one thing in Oakdale that he cherished the most, the one thing that made him more human, more relaxed, and happy, it was…cruel. There was no other word for it. Bob Hughes had been unnecessarily cruel to Reid. There most have been another solution. Luke wasn't the only one working at that foundation. He could have sent someone else to work with Reid and not take care of things concerning the new wing anymore. It wouldn't have been pleasant for Luke but it would have been much less dramatic than Reid losing his job.

"Can you believe him" Katie asked Chris and Allison once they had reached her. "Couldn't he find another solution? Wasn't there a way to make it ethical?"

"I don't know. But it sure would explain some of the tension I sense between my parents. If Mom knows of this, she most certainly doesn't agree with Dad on it"

"Yeah. I heard her asking some nurse how Reid was.." Allison never got to finish her sentence though. A nurse she knew worked with came running towards them, screaming ", " at the top of her lungs.

"Hey what's wrong?" Chris asked, instantly getting in doctor mode. The nurse was completely out of breath and looked panicked.

"It's !*pant* he *pant*he.."

"he what?" Katie interrupted impatiently. That feeling in her stomach had just increased tenfolds. What happened to Reid?

"He…we found him on the stairs between two floors." Answered the nurse trying to talk normally even though she was still short of breath. "He was supposed to deliver a document to someone on the next floor but he never made it. We found him unconscious and his head was bleeding. He must have fell down the stairs." The nurse continued telling them as the group hurriedly walked towards the scene.

What Katie saw once there, almost made her heart stop. Reid, her Reid, her best friend was laying on the gurney, his head covered in blood. It was as if time had stopped and the world was ending. And suddenly she felt the ground slipping from underneath her.

"Katie!" Allison screamed, catching her as she fell. "Katie, Katie" She kept repeating, but the other woman wasn't responding to her. "Casey get over here and help me! I think Katie's in shock"

"Allison. What's wrong? What happen…omg, is that…was that they were rushing away." Casey asked as he helped Allison bring Katie to a chair.

"Yeah. He fell down the stairs and opened his head. They're going to check to see if there's internal bleeding in the brain. If there is, they'll have to operate."

"Man, what bad luck. And ironic too. The head doctor splitting his head open!"

"This isn't funny Casey!" Allison screamed at him, tears starting to fall from her eyes. Casey looked at his friend in shock. What in the world? Sure, it wasn't fun to see a colleague get hurt, but surely it wasn't that bad. I mean, how bad can you get hurt from simply falling down a couple of stairs?

"Doctor Oliver could die!" Allison continued "And it isn't just a head surgery Case! I was right! I was right to worry about him. He has only skin on his bones. He looks like he's anorexic. And he's been pulling triple shifts for the last two months. He's overworked and underfed. How in the world he was still able to stand, I don't know. But it probably involved lots of caffeine or worst maybe even drugs. Do you see how bad it could get if they have to operate. Surgery involves medicine that might react to something he took **and** the weaker you are physically, the more dangerous operating you is. And is in a really bad shape right now. If they have to do a serious surgery, he might not make it through"

Casey was left speechless and with a rock in his stomach. Sure, he didn't like the guy, he thought he was a jerk and don't get him started on what he did to Noah, but…him dying? No. There was nothing funny about that.

"Surgery?" Katie whispered. "They're taking him to surgery?"

" We don't know that yet Katie" reassured Allison, bringing a lose strand of Katie's hair behind her ear.

" But they can't" Katie said softly, still looking straight in front of her. "It's a head injury. Reid is the neurosurgeon. They can't operate without him. He's the only neurosurgeon. They can't operate him, they'll mess it up! It's not their speciality, they'll mess things up!" Katie sobbed, her head falling on her knees. She kept repeating "they'll mess things up" over and over again.

"Katie. Katie, listen to me" Allison said, kneeling in front of her. "If there's internal bleeding, they have to do the surgery to stop it, ok. There's no time to get a neurosurgeon from another hospital. Reid could die waiting. Chris is a competent doctor and surgeon, ok"

"Yes but"

"Katie. You know the best here, right?" asked Casey. Katie nodded. "Alright then, if had to choose one doctor in this hospital to operate on him, who would it be?"

Katie sat back in the chair and thought about it. She thought about all of Reid's comments about every doctor he had encountered. "Chris" she answered "Chris would be his choice"

"Well that's exactly who he has watching his back. He'll be fine you'll see." Said Casey.

"Yeah" Katie said with a stronger voice, wiping her tears away. "He'll be fine. And he'll mock me about being such a worrywart and a darn drama queen"

The trio stayed in silence for a few minutes before Chris came to tell them that surgery wouldn't be necessary but that looking at the brain activity, there was a possibility that Reid had slipped into a coma.

"But we're not sure. And right now, the most urgent thing is to deal with Reid's other issues. He's incredibly thin and malnourished and must suffer from exhaustion. His body must have been taken quite a toll in the last few months. I've ordered a complete blood work and a tox screen just to be safe, but it'll take a while before we have any result back. For now, I think you should all go home and rest Katie. Allison, can you stay with her?"

"Sure"

"No. I'm not leaving him"

"Katie be reasonable" Chris pleaded. "There's nothing you can do"

"Chris" Katie said brusquely. "If I was the one in this position, where do you think Reid would be? Do you really think that **anything** would make him leave my side?" Chris looked down. No, if the situation were reversed Reid Oliver would right here, making sure that the nurses and doctors didn't screw things up with their stupidity and nothing would have been able to make him leave Katie's side except maybe Jacob or Luke needing urgent brain surgery. "No Chris. He wouldn't leave my side for a second. He'd stay by my bedside, whether it was authorized or not, without sleeping or eating until I woke up, saw him there and was told I was completely out of the woods."

"But he wouldn't want you to neglect yourself by staying with him Katie." Chris said "He would want you to go back home and get some sleep as soon as it becomes too much. So you have to do that. For him. It won't do him any good, if he wakes up to you looking like death warmed over. If anything, it'll just worry him and anger him and then he'll be screaming at me, insulting my intelligence and accusing me of not taking good care of you" he added. "So you can stay with him for now, but you'll have to go home eventually." Katie nodded and started to follow Chris to Reid's room when suddenly, a thought occurred to her.

"Allison?"

"Yes"

"I think someone should go tell Luke. I…I don't know how things broke up but…I think Luke would want to know. Do you think you can do it? I…I really don't want to leave Reid's side and this is the kind of news better said in person"

"Of course" Allison answered sadly, tears coming to her eyes. Katie's pain was so obvious. Her heart went out to her and to Luke. No doubt her friend would not take this well.

"Maybe I should go with you" said Casey. "We don't know how Luke will react. If he goes into shock like Katie, you won't be able to catch him or move him around and frankly, I don't think either of you will be in a state to drive" he added looking at his friend teary face. Allison was obviously trying to keep herself from crying, to be strong for Katie, but he knew that she was really affected by all of this. and she were not close. They weren't much of anything to each other really. But Allison had been the one who noticed something wrong and she had put quite some effort into making Oliver's life easier for him. Casey just knew by looking at her that she was chastising herself for not doing more, for not keeping things from happening. It wasn't her fault of course. But Allison hadn't become a nurse for nothing. She deeply cared about people and always wanted them to get better, no matter who they were. She would need someone there to support **her** when she told Luke.

When Luke Snyder had told Reid Oliver he was making his decision for him and had decided to call it quits with the doctor, he had been furious and disappointed. He had really, seriously thought he could make things work with Reid. But the older man had refused to tell him the truth when Luke confronted him and then had told him of his decision of taking a break with Luke for a couple of months without talking to him about it. That was the part that infuriated Luke the most. Reid had taken a decision that concerned them both without consulting him. A couple makes couple's decisions. That was that. He wouldn't enter in a relationship where he didn't a voice! If that was how things would be with Reid, Luke preferred to walk away before he got so involved it would hurt too much to leave him. How difficult would it have been to sit down with Luke and discuss Bob's ultimatum? Maybe they could have found another solution. Or at least, Luke would have felt he had had a say in what would happen and have time to actually think about what he wanted to do. But he hadn't had the time to think. Reid just dropped this bombshell on him and expected him to go with it. Well, no he wouldn't just go with it. He wouldn't let anyone decide what is best for him. He refused to let himself be walked on. He would never be anyone's doormat. Not ever again.

But then, after a few days, the anger slowly faded and was replaced by an intense sadness. He had wanted to be with Reid so badly. Finding out that things just weren't meant to be had hurt a lot. He had tried to distract himself with work, helping his family, and anything else he could find to busy himself, but it hadn't made the pain go way and when he went home at night, he would immediately go to bed and sleep until the next morning. He didn't remember ever spending so much time in bed….or eating that much cherry flavoured ice-cream either. He missed Reid so much. Much, much more then he missed Noah, who was still refusing any contact with Luke. He had wanted more than couple of times to sneak into the hospital to see Reid, if only from afar. But he knew that if he saw Reid, he would want to talk to him and that was dangerous. Luke couldn't let himself fall back into his arms. He had made a decision and it was for the best. Reid and he had different priorities and being together would only hurt them much more than now. But then a couple of weeks ago, things had change. Not for the better though. No, a few weeks ago, doubts started creeping in. Had he really made the right decision? Should he have left Reid explain himself more? Were Reid and him really not good for each other? What if this situation wasn't a reflection of what would be? Was he wrong? Reid was such an amazing neurosurgeon. And in Dallas, he had been so devastated and scared at the idea that he might never be able to practice medicine again. Maybe Luke should have listened to Reid's reasoning. Maybe he should have given him a chance anyway. But then, this little voice in his head asked him 'Where's Reid now?' If Reid had truly wanted them to be together, if Luke had truly been important to Reid, wouldn't the doctor have tried to contact him? If he cared for Luke, why didn't he try to change his mind? Yet again, Reid hadn't fought for him. He supposed, he really did mean a lot less to the doctor than what Reid meant to him.

So yet again, Luke Snyder found himself staring at his ceiling in the middle of the night. It was a good thing he had slept so much in the first month because now he didn't sleep that much. He had too many questions and too many doubts to be able to rest peacefully. It was going to be another long night of self-doubt, or so he thought. Luke was lost in thought when suddenly he heard the doorbell ring. 'What the hell? Who in the world would come here at this time?' Sure he wasn't sleeping, but other people didn't know that. Slightly frustrated at having to get out of bed, Luke put on his slippers and went to answer the door. The sight that was waiting for him surprised him. At his doorstep stood a tear-streaked Allison and an uncomfortable Casey.

"Hey guys. Come in, come in." Luke urged them. He could have cut the tension in the air. "What's wrong? What happened?" Allison and Casey looked at each other then back at him. He was starting to get worried.

"Luke" Casey started "Maybe you would be better sitting" Alright, now Luke was very worried.

"What happened? Why is Allison crying?"

"Luke" Allison choked through tears. "I'm so sorry. I tried to help…I should talked….I should have told you or Bob or Chris or Katie"

"Wo, wo! Allison stop it" Casey interrupted her, putting his hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. This stupid guilt trip had to stop. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault"

"Yeah well I'm not so sure about that" Allison responded, thinking back on what Bob Hughes had told them.

"Guys. I'm still here. And I'm seriously getting worried now; could you please tell me what this is all about? Alli" Luke said putting a hand on her shoulder and taking one of her hands with the other. "What's going on?"

"Luke" she said squeezing his hand hard, tears still falling down "It's Reid."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Don't own anything.

An: This story is much bigger that I thought. Originally I wanted to write a 4000-5000 words one shot….yeah that didn't turn out like that. The story is still not finish but I'm working on chap 4 as fast as I can!

**Chapter 3**

"It's Reid" The words kept repeating themselves in Luke Snyder's head. "It's Reid" Luke felt his throat closed up on itself, his heart started beating like crazy and the world started turning. He was barely aware of the strong pair of arms holding him still, keeping him from falling as his legs turned to Jello. "It's Reid" He hated those words it that tone of voice. It was telling him that something bad had happened to Reid. But what? Slowly Luke started to calm himself and was able to choke out a "What happened?"

"There was…He…well it's actually complicated. But he's at the hospital"

"He works at the hospital Alli. Of course he's there" Luke tried to joke.

"Luke man, you know it wasn't what she meant" Casey whispered softly.

"Ok so how bad is it? Car accident, food intoxication, what?" Luke asked. Again, Casey and Allison shared a look that Luke didn't like at all.

"Well, I guess that the reason is in a hospital bed right now is because he fell down the stairs. He was found unconscious and bleeding and they had to check if they was any internal bleeding and…"

"Was there?" Luke interrupted her "Is that why you're here? Reid's in surgery? With whom? Whose the surgeon?"

"Luke calm down" Casey said "There wasn't any need to operate"

"Then why isn't he fine? If you're here it's because something's wrong!"

"Yes. Chris said he might have slipped in a coma and comas are pretty unpredictable" Casey explained.

A coma. Reid was in a coma. Luke wasn't quite sure how to deal with this news. And why had Allison and Casey come to tell him about it. They didn't know he had had something going on with Reid before, did they?

" But there's more than just that Luke. I think you should sit down ok. You look like you're about to pass out." Allison added. Luke didn't make any fuss this time and sat down. He didn't like how his friend had said there was something more. "Something else is wrong with him. Something has been wrong for quite some time actually" Luke looked at her with a confused expression. Allison didn't know how to do this. How do you tell your friend that a man he obviously cared about had worked himself almost to death over the choice he made between professional and personal life?

"…*sigh* " Allison started again "is suffering for malnutrition and exhaustion. He…well…he looks…horrible. He's so thin you can actually see…" Allison choked a sob. "you can see his ribs coming out. He obviously hasn't been eating much more than the snacks I dropped in his office for him and uhm…he… Chris, Katie and I found out tonight that he had been working triple and even quadruple shift at the hospital in the last two months. My God, he must have worked close to, if not over, 90 hours a week. He…he didn't go home, he kept working and I don't know how he was still standing. We haven't had the results from his tests back yet."

Luke sat on the couch, looking straight in front of him, yet seeing nothing. How could this have happened? Reid and malnutrition? That man ate more than two starving truckers! He probably had the record of the biggest sandwich eaten all at once.

"I don't understand? Why would he?"

"We don't know man. Maybe he…"

"Actually, we do know Casey. Or at least Katie and I think we know. And I think Luke knows too" Allison looked at Luke who stared back at her blankly. "Luke, people who work themselves like this and don't eat, normally it's because they're avoiding something. Trying to distract themselves from emotional pain" Again Luke stared at her with blank eyes. She knew he knew deep down what had been happening, but right now, he was way too shocked to be able to figure things out. "This has been happening for the last two months, so logically, it's related to something that happened about two months ago….something to do with his personal life" Luke shoulders dropped as understanding filled his eyes.

"oh my god" Luke whispered. It was because of him. Reid was in this state because he had broken things up. Luke his head in his hands and started sobbing.

"Luke this isn't your fault." Allison started, rubbing Luke's back to try and comfort him

" Yes it is" he answered softly. "I'm the one who called it quits Alli. He wanted to wait until Bob retired and the hospital was bought to be together with me and I told him…I told him that I wouldn't be anyone's convenience. And I left. I caused this"

"No. Luke, listen, even if you had accepted 's proposition of waiting, these two months without you would still had been really hard on him. He might have not gotten in this bad of a shape, true, but he still would have been miserable. Luke, this isn't your fault. There was no happy ending in that stupid ultimatum. Either way, lost something that he couldn't deal living without. Either way, he would end up destroying a big part of himself. He couldn't take losing you over his job, and I guess, he decided to literally live solely for his job. But if he had chosen you, as much as he may love you, do you think he would have been happy without being able to operate on people?"

"She's right Luke. I don't know much about the guy, but if there's one thing I know is that this guy's really passionate about his job. It's not just a profession with him. It's a vocation. He needs to save people's life"

"You're right" said Luke "you're right. That's why I've been in doubt for weeks now. I've been wanting to go talk to him because I know how much his job is important to him and to the people he heals and I think I wasn't being totally fair with him, and I wanted to hear him out, but I didn't have the courage. I mean, he hadn't tried to contact me at all in the last two months so I figured…I figured he had moved on and wouldn't be interested in seeing me"

"Seems to me like the guy thought the same thing. He must have thought you were done with him and left you in peace" Casey added.

"Yeah….we're both idiots!" Luke said chuckling through his tears. Allison and Casey chuckled too. It was good to see their friend picking himself up.

"Ok, I'm ready now" said Luke "I wanna go see Reid" His friend nodded and helped him in the car. The ride back to memorial was the longest of Luke's life.

Slowly, Luke approached the room Allison and Casey had showed him. His throat hurt. Swallowing was hard and painful. As he reached for the door, hand shaking like never before, his stomach did a summersault. Luke put his forehead on the door as tears feel down his face. Even though Allison had told him what had been going on, he still wasn't sure what to expect on the other side of this door. And that scared him. But he needed to be in that room. Slowly, he opened the door and entered. He didn't even have the time to fully look at Reid before a crying ball of blond hair had jumped on him and hugged him hard.

"Oh Luke. I'm so happy to see you" Katie cried. " And Reid would be so happy to see you here too" Katie hugged him for a couple of more seconds before returning at Reid's bedside and holding his hand.

"Hey Reid" she told him "Luke is here to see you. It's great isn't it?"

"How is he?"

"In a coma" Katie sobbed. "But you know what they say. Some coma patients are able to hear what's going on around them and even remember some of it. I haven't…I tried talking to him but…" Katie had to stop there as her sobbing became uncontrollable.

Luke took a chair and sat next to Katie, holding her in his arms, as she cried herself to sleep. He didn't know how long she cried or how long he sat there holding her sleeping form. All he knew was that Reid looked worst than he had ever seen anyone looking before. This was even worse than seeing Noah after the explosion. At least Noah hadn't been hurting himself for months. Noah's accident couldn't have been stopped a hundred times. But this…this didn't have to get so bad. Something could have been done about this. Reid looked so sick and frail. His arms looked so thin. He had seen Reid shirtless before and the man was extremely good looking and had a very well toned body. But this…this didn't look like Reid at all. Luke reached out and grabbed Reid's hand (Katie having let go of it in her sleep) "My god Reid. What have you done to yourself?" said Luke, heartbrokenly. "Why didn't you come to me if you were handling things so badly? I would have given up whatever I was doing in a heartbeat to come to you, you big idiot!" he raged. "But I guess…I guess you didn't know that. Just like I didn't know you would be so affected by me breaking things up. I thought you didn't come to me because you didn't care. But you didn't come to me because you care too much about me, didn't you? Because it hurt too much." Luke calmly said. Then he started chuckling darkly to himself. "God we really are idiots!"

"Yeah, well I could have told you that months ago if you had come to me instead of trying to figure things out on your own" Katie softly said as she woke up. "Don't you guys know that men are useless in dealing with relationships? I could have told you a long time ago that you loved each other and I would have made sure that you two would get together even if it meant kicking Bob Hughes ass!" She ended on a rather angry note.

"Yeah well. I don't think Reid felt like talking anymore than I did in the last two months. I was miserable without him Katie"

"And he was miserable without you. See. You two are made for each other!" Both of them started laughing. It was silly, but they needed it. One of the most important people in their lives was lying in a hospital bed. The duo sat there, holding onto each other for dear life, fearing falling completely apart if the other let go and looking at their unconscious loved one. It was only over an hour later that Chris finally made an apparition in the room, holding some test results.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey Chris" answered Luke "So…what are the news?" Beside him, Luke felt Katie tensed up and she squeezed his hand harder.

"Well, our Doctor is in a bad shape. He is deficient in many vitamins and nutrients, and we'll make the necessary changes to his treatment to deal with that. He'll probably have to take vitamins and nutrients supplement for a while but eventually he should be fine."

"Why do I hear a but coming on?" softly asked Katie.

"But…but Reid also has a dangerously high level of caffeine in his blood and…also a high level of strong migraine medication"

"Migraine medication? Why?" asked Luke.

"Have you ever stayed awake without eating for a long time Luke?" Luke nodded at Chris' question. "Haven't you ever had a headache because of it?" Once again, Luke nodded understanding what Chris was getting at. Reid had been barely eating at all, so obviously the headaches he had gotten would have been full blown migraines.

"But shouldn't he have known better than to take too many medication?" Luke asked.

"Normally yes. But by the time he started taking them, I think Reid wasn't able to think straight anymore. He probably just wanted the pain to go away."

"So what will happen because of it?" asked Katie.

"Well, he might go into withdrawal, although it's not the medication I'm most worried about. " Luke and Katie looked confused.

"Caffeine isn't called a drug for no reason. It has addictive properties and with the amount of it that Reid has in his system, it's obvious that he's addicted to it. He couldn't function without it and took phenomenal quantities of it every day. The withdrawal he will go through will be painful. I know people who get a huge headache as soon as they skip their morning coffee. Reid has been functioning basically only on energy drinks for weeks now. It's gonna be tough. Then again, he might be too exhausted to feel much of anything. We can't know for sure"

"Energy drinks?" said Katie "We don't have any of those at home"

"Well Reid had some in his office here. A whole drawer filled with them actually. And I found a bag filled with empty cans too. He must have drunk a lot of it."

Katie and Luke looked at Reid once more. They couldn't imagine what he had put himself through. It must have been so hard. He must have been in so much pain. 'Oh Reid' thought Katie 'Why do you have to be so damn stubborn! I know I wasn't there for you much recently, but I still would have done anything to help you.'

Chris Hughes looked at the two people sitting at his colleague's bedside. He was lucky to have two wonderful people loving him so much. Now, all he needed to do was wake up and see how much they cared for him and let them help him. If he didn't, sick or not, Chris would rip him a new one. After all, he didn't want to watch Reid self-destruct completely either.

The nurses of the surgery department had all receive a call at 9 o'clock this morning from their colleague Allison Stewart concerning one jerk-face doctor named Reid Oliver. And they had all dropped whatever they had planned to go to the hospital and check up on things, most especially on Allison who, although she had never seemed closer to than any of them, was taking the situation very hard. It was almost funny. Out of everyone working in this hospital, Reid Oliver must have been the less popular and less liked of them all. Yet, this morning, every nurse who had worked with him, and who more often then not complained or conspired together against him, had shown up at the hospital in the wing where the man was and had all waited together to hear the news of his waking up. They took it harder than anyone would have thought. None of them particularly liked the arrogant doctor. Lord knows he was hard to deal with. And yet, underneath it all, all of them had had a glimpse of the humanity and the heart that Reid Oliver sported. Whether it was with a patient, a child, or Katie Snyder's son Jacob, had shown his capability at being a normal, decent and caring human being. And although his attitude and bedside manner left much to be desired, no one could say that wasn't the best, most dedicated doctor they had ever met. So learning that the big bad wolf of the Surgery wing was in a coma suffering from malnutrition and exhaustion, something any nurse would have been able to recognize the symptoms of, had taken a toll on those working with the said villain.

"You know, the first time saw me, he asked me if I had gotten lost on my way to elementary school and told me that he was sorry but the special aid class wasn't anywhere near here" reminisced a young nurse, chuckling softly. At the time, she had been flabbergasted, insulted and hurt. But now…now she just saw it for what it was: Oliver's way of socially interacting. It wasn't anything personal against her. He could have said the same thing to the nurse next to her. It was just how he acted with everyone. The only way he apparently knew how.

" And you think that was bad? The first thing he told me was "If you dunderhead could stop looking at me like chimpanzee that took too much weed and actually found that tiny little thing inside your cranium called a brain, you wouldn't have to bother me with such an insipid, idiotic question. You would be doing your job instead of being certified incompetent!" "

"Ouch" all the other nurses replied.

"Yeah. That man sure has a way with words, doesn't he?"

"Yeah. If ever he can't operate anymore or is bored when he retires, he could definitely open a business of hate cards. You know like "Your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend's mother's second husband and you don't know how to tell him exactly what you think of him? No problem! Reid Oliver's hate cards are explicit and adapted to every kind of moronic behaviour! Can even be made on special demand!" Said another nurse using an announcer voice.

The lot of them just burst out laughing at that. Even Allison chuckled.

"You know" Allison said "No one can be as much of an ass and cold jerk as he can. But you know, he isn't a bad guy. He's not social by any means…and he really doesn't like people except for Luke, Katie and Jacob. And he's probably the most emotionally deficient man I've ever met, but…he's a good man. Even though his words can sound cruel, he really isn't. He doesn't mean it that way. And if any of us were in any kind of trouble, I think he would come to our help immediately. He would grumble about it and insult our intelligence a thousand times along the way, but he'd help. And you know, not every body's like that. Sometimes people are real nice yet they don't come through for you when you need it. Sometimes people are nice to you, but behind your back they bitch about you all the time. Dr. Oliver is a lot of things, but he isn't a hypocrite or double faced. If he has a problem with you, he'll tell you directly. He doesn't play stupid games with you. And that kind of honesty…not everybody has it. And you know, even though he's a jerk, it's kind of really refreshing to work with him. And…god if someone had told me two months ago that I would say this I would have send them to the psych ward, but…I actually miss all his snark and sarcasm. And right now…" Allison refrained a sob. "call me crazy but right now I'd give anything to have him scream at me and make a really sarcastic comment that'd make me want to punch him" The nurse beside Allison took her in her arms as she started sobbing after her speech. All the other nurses, were wiping tears of their eyes. Call them all crazy nutcases, but every single one of them missed their snarky, rude, and slave-driver of a doctor. And right now, they all really wanted to see him get out of that dreadful room and scream at them for daring laying around on the job.

After his discussion with his son, nurse Stewart and Katie Snyder, Bob Hughes had decided to go home and get some much needed sleep. Therefore, it wasn't until the following afternoon that he came back to the hospital and witnessed the state his staff was in. Nurses walked down the halls slowly, looking sad and confused. They looked like they had too much weight on their shoulders and didn't really seem to know where to go and what to do. A bundle of nurses from the surgery department were sitting together, shoulders hunched, eyes watery, silently sitting next to each other, holding the hand of the nurse closest to them, except for the two nurses surrounding Allison Stewart. These two nurses were too occupied rubbing Allison's back and whispering soothing things in her ears as she discreetly cried her eyes out. Bob Hughes was confused. What could have happened in his hospital since he had left that had affected his staff so much? Confused, Bob Hughes sought out his son in order to get answers and called his wife so she could come and comfort the nurse. She was much better at dealing with these kinds of situations than he was.

If Chris Hughes had been tired the night before, now he was exhausted. But it wasn't so much his body as it was his mind. Reid Oliver and he had disliked each other since their very first meeting. But unlike Reid, Chris wasn't always able to distance himself enough from his patients not to be affected on a personal level. He would have never thought that treating Reid could have touched him on a personal level, but it did. He really, really couldn't stand seeing the arrogant, infuriating man so still and devoid of life. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Reid might not have been a friend, but as his number one rival and number one pain in the butt, he had an important part in Chris' life.

"Chris, son. What is going on around here?"

"What do you mean?" Chris sighed, annoyed. He was tired, and worried, and felt guilty at not noticing Reid's state and angry at his father for the whole ultimatum thing. Now was really not the time to talk to him.

"I mean why is the entirety of our nurse staff looking like their puppy got killed?"

Chris couldn't help but chuckled a little at that. Reid Oliver a puppy? That mental image was just too funny. He sobered up pretty quickly though.

"Well Dad" Chris started on an irritated tone, "that would be because a respected colleague finds himself unconscious in a hospital bed due to a situation that could have been avoided if we had noticed it before" 'Or if you had minded your damn business in the first place and let Reid have the only damn thing that makes him socially bearable and had the potential of making him stop being such a miserable, work-obsessed sod.' Chris angrily added in his own head. Yep, today was not a good day for Chris Hughes. The nurses were so not going to appreciate his Reid-mood.

"What? What happened? Who got hurt?"

"It's Reid. We found him unconscious and bleeding after he fell down the stairs last night."

"Oh my." Bob interrupted him "Will he be alright. Did you need to operate?"

"No, it wasn't necessary. But as for him being alright…"

"Bob, I got your message. What is going on around here darling?" asked Kim.

"It's Reid there was an incident yesterday and he got hurt. But there's nothing to worry about. He'll be fine."

Chris wanted to cut in and rectify his father's statement but someone beat him up to it. Indeed, a tired and worried Luke had went out to pick up some food and tea for Katie and had heard the last part of the conversation.

"Nothing to worry about?" said Luke incredulously. "**Nothing to worry about!**" Luke screamed. Suddenly, everyone tensed up and went completely silent. They all knew something was brewing inside the young man and it wasn't going to be pretty if he exploded.

"Nothing to worry about! How can you even say that? Have you even taken a fucking minute out of your precious, busy life to take a look at him recently!" His voice started soft, but Luke couldn't help himself but scream towards the end. He was absolutely livid.

"Well I haven't noticed. I haven't noticed because Reid and I haven't been in contact with each other for two months! Because of **you**! You who I always believed wanted what's best for this hospital **and **the people working for it. Well, obviously I was deadly wrong there." Luke's tone was icy cold and his eyes had a murderous glare in them.

"What do you mean Luke?" asked a nurse who worked with Allison.

"What I mean, is that Doctor Bob Hughes over here, gave Reid Oliver, the best damn surgeon in this fucking country, an ultimatum. Now what kind of ultimatum you would ask, right? I'm sure most of you can think of dozens, because let's face it Reid isn't the easiest person to deal with. Maybe an ultimatum about his horrible bedside manner and his position as head of the new wing? Maybe! But no. You'd be wrong. Dr Bob Hughes told our Dr Oliver to choose between being with me and his **job**! He asked him to choose between having a personal life, because guess what? outside of me and Katie he has no personal life. He never had one. I'm the one who showed him how important it was to change that! And you asked him to choose between having a life outside these walls like everyone in else in this goddamn hospital has and saving the lives of people! Well what the f*ck do you think he chose, huh? Well I'll tell you what he chose! **Neither!"** Luke screamed at Bob.

"He chose neither because he couldn't deal with losing either one. Who the fuck could? Tell me Bob? Who could? Could you? If finding an investor for your precious hospital meant having to cut all ties with Kim, would you be able to do it?" Bob, who up until now had stayed silent due to the shocked of seeing Luke in such a state, had wanted to interrupted to explain how the situations were different but he never had the time. Luke wasn't finished. Luke wasn't anywhere near finished. The man he… the man he…damnit the he loved was laying half dead in a hospital bed because of Bob Hughes stupid decision!

"You know maybe you **would** be able to do it. You sure as hell had no problem doing it to Reid. How does your conscience feel about you right now Dr Hughes, knowing that **you're** the reason you're best doctor is in a coma and more than half of this hospital is in tears about it. Do you know why they're in tears? Do you even have the slightest idea as to why Reid is in that bed?" Luke paused, but didn't receive any answer. Nurses, doctors, other employees and even some patients had come closer to observe the confrontation. The tension was so tick you couldn't even cut it with a chainsaw.

"No, you don't. Where were you these last two months Bob, uh? Where the f*ck were you when Reid needed you! **I** left him in** your** hands. **I** chose to call it quits with Reid, not him. He didn't have any intention on giving up his job or me. He asked me for a break until everything settled down and I couldn't accept it. I refused to be his boyfriend only when it was convenient for him. But it wasn't convenient for him. Reid wasn't choosing the hospital over me. He wasn't showing me that his priority would always be his job and this hospital like I thought. He was showing me that he **loved** me, just as much as he loved being a surgeon. Being a surgeon is his life! It's his calling. He saves people Dr. Hughes! How many patients' lives were you willing to sacrifice, by risking him choosing me, over some stupid, unfounded ethical question?"

"It wasn't unfounded" Bob interrupted. Luke saw red. He had never felt so angry in his life before. Thankfully Chris had anticipated his reaction immediately and had posed a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Alright, let's ask the people who make this hospital worth something. Please people raise your hand if you believe that the head of the new surgery wing, who is one of the most professional doctor in this hospital since he **never** has problems separating his job from anything personal, being in a romantic relationship with the principal monetary founder of the said wing is unethical and can cause serious problems for the integrity of this hospital." No one raised their hands. "Come on people don't be shy. I swear I won't hurt you for giving your honest opinion even if I disagree with it." Luke added in a much nicer tone. Still, of all the people around them, no one raised their hands.

"Well would you look at that Bob." Luke said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "They don't care. Maybe you should have made a poll to see what everyone's opinion was before setting out to destroy one of your doctor's life"

"I didn't destroy Reid's life, Luke"

"Oh yeah?" Luke asked softly. "Then care to tell me exactly Dr. Hughes how the man I love found himself suffering from severe malnutrition, total physical exhaustion and having an extraordinary unhealthy and even dangerous amount of caffeine in his system?" Luke had stopped screaming now. Instead he was crying silently as he spoke.

"Chris" Kim said "Could you explain to us exactly what is going on? What is Luke talking about"

"'s been working himself to death. Literally" Allison answered, her voice hoarse from crying. "He has barely eaten or slept in the last two months. We looked at the work time records and you know what we found ? Do you have any idea of what we found in the files that **you** were supposed to sort through at the end of last month but were too occupied to even ask someone else to do it for you? Well we found that Dr. Oliver had been replacing doctors so they could take a day off quite often. We found that when I came to work in the morning and heard the night nurses talking about working with that night even though he had worked the evening shift with me the day before **and** I thought I had seen him during the day, that I wasn't hallucinating. We found that really did put triple and quadruple shift. You know what that means? It means that one of your doctors, one of the doctors that you are personally responsible for because you're his chief of staff, worked in this hospital for 48 hours straight. And you did nothing to stop it. You did nothing to protect your doctor and your patients! It means that one of your doctors has been working about 90 hours a week for two months. He did nothing except for work! **Nothing!** Now why do you think he did that?"

"Because he couldn't deal with the choice he was forced to make" answered Chris. "Because while Reid Oliver was surviving just fine in Texas having nothing else but his job, he discovered in Oakdale that this wasn't life. He discovered that having friends, having someone to spend time with was a good thing. He discovered that you were right when you said that having personal relationships was important. Reid has two personal relationships. One with Katie and one with Luke. The one with Luke however is much deeper. I'm sure Luke has seen sides of Reid that even Katie hasn't seen. And yet, you made him choose between the center of his personal life and his professional life. There was no happy ending Dad. Once you taste something so good, something that makes you as happy as Luke could have made Reid, you can't go back to being the cold-hearted workaholic doctor and be content with it."

"So Reid did the only thing he could think of doing." Luke continued. "He tried to numb the pain by working, just like I did. But here's the thing about Reid, he's much better at ignoring his emotion and cutting himself off from the world than I am. When he does something, he goes all the way. And all the way made him so sick that he still hasn't woken up from a minor head injury. This is your doing . You pushed him in that direction and then you failed to notice something was dreadfully wrong with him, even though Allison tried to talk to you more than once about Reid acting strange. But you didn't take the time to listen to her and now Reid is in that bed and we don't know when he's going to wake up and in what state he will be once he does." Luke's voice kept breaking with the force of his emotion. "This ends here. From this moment on, I will hear no more of this stupid ultimatum and what it implies"

", you can't just…"

"NO!" Luke screamed "I don't want to hear it. You have no say in what Reid and I do! There is nothing wrong with us dating! And if you don't back off, you're not going to like the consequences it will bring Dr. Hughes."

"Meaning "

"Meaning " Luke said mockingly "that I'm the one supporting this project financially. Meaning that **I** get to choose who my foundation gives money to and who my foundation decides to **stop** giving money to. I can stop supporting this project at any time I want. And if you think that all the people this new wing can help will stop me from taking action, think again. No, I wouldn't be so cruel or selfish as to destroy something that can help a lot of people. But I have a **lot** of money . If I wanted to, I would have more than enough to build a new wing at another hospital that wouldn't have any problems with me dating the future head of the said wing. You can keep the new wing , But if you think for one second I will let Reid work under someone like you, someone who couldn't care less about the people he hurts to get what he wants, you're more delusional than I thought. Because guess what Dr. Hughes? If I tell Reid that I want him to get a job at another hospital because I love him and worry about him too much at Memorial, he'll do it. It may take a while. He may need some convincing but I can promise you that I'll succeed in making him hand in his two weeks notice and getting him the f*ck away from you. I'd think about the options put before me if I were you, Dr Hughes" Luke ended, spitting the older man's name with something akin to disgust and walking right back into Reid's room.

AN: Holy crap! What the hell? According to Word, I've written like 13000 words since I started this story! All in a row! Although I haven't posted it here on all in a row. Sorry, but I just had to go to sleep at 2:30 am. I had started writing twelve hours ago! My right wrist still hurts Anyway, I'm working on chap 4 but don't know when I'll be finished. Hopefully before tonight 'cause I won't be able to write tonight. My sis is taking me to see "L'avare" de Molière at a theatre.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything regarding ATWT (except the fics I write about it)**

AN: This chapter is shorter than the last one, sorry. I felt it was a good place to cut. More will be up tomorrow!(Sunday)

**Chapter 4 **

Luke Snyder felt more exhausted than ever and his thoughts were flying around in his head like crazy. He was thinking and feeling too many things at once. Bob Hughes had done nothing but unnerve Luke even more. He just couldn't believe that a man with his experience could have failed to notice what was happening to Reid. How could it have gotten so far? That question had kept repeating itself in Luke's head. But now, he found that he didn't care. He didn't care how Reid had gotten to this point; all he cared about was Reid waking up and getting better. The causes didn't matter because this would never happen again. Luke would not let it happen. From now on, Reid Oliver will have trouble keeping him away; whether or not he wants Luke back, he would be there to look out for Reid. And he knew he wouldn't be the only one. No doubt Katie would be in full mother hen mode from now on. She'll probably sit with Reid at every meal time and make sure he eats everything she prepared for him. Luke couldn't blame her; he wanted to do the same thing. However, he didn't know if it was a good idea or not. Reid had been independent since forever it seemed. Luke didn't want to hover too much. Lord knows that didn't work with Noah. On the other hand, Reid is totally different from Noah and Luke didn't want Reid to think he didn't hover because he didn't care. He was just unsure of what to do next and he couldn't know as long as Reid didn't wake up.

"How is he, Katie"

"No change. I supposed it's not so bad; it could be worse. I overheard quite an interesting and loud argument out there" Katie remarked, looking at Luke who was now looking rather sheepish about the whole thing.

"Thank you Luke"

"For what?" asked a confused Luke

"For giving Bob a piece of your mind and allowing me to dissipate part of my anger vicariously . If I had been the one to see Bob…I don't know what I would have done but I can't guarantee it wouldn't have been physical. I wanted to jump at his throat so badly last night! I swear I could have strangle him"

"I know how that feels. But we can't. Bob is most important person in this hospital and he is still Reid's boss. We shouldn't compromise Reid's position here even though right now, I'd really rather he go work outside of Oakdale."

" Well, we're not there yet. First he has to wake up and get better. It'll take a while before he's ready to come back to work. There's still plenty of time to decide what the next move would be."

The two friends sat beside the fallen doctor in silence. Neither of them felt like talking at the moment. Hours later, once the sun had disappeared to leave the place to darkness once again, Chris Hughes came to talk to them.

"Katie, Luke. You two should go home tonight. You look dead tired. I'll be going home too. I asked the night doctor to call me as soon as there are any changes. I promise I'll call you both if something happens before tomorrow morning"

Katie nodded. As much as she wanted to be by Reid's side, she couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't slept in over 36 hours and she had tried very hard not to cry as to not upset or worry Luke more than he already was, but she couldn't be strong anymore. Right now all she wanted to do was to go hug her son real hard and crawl into her bed and cry her eyes out until she fell asleep. This way, when she came back tomorrow, she would be able to be a positive presence for both Luke and Reid. Luke, however, had a very different sentiment than Katie.

"I'm not leaving him, Chris. I refuse to leave his side"

"Luke, Reid wouldn't want you…"

"I don't care Chris! He needs me… or at least I need him. I won't be able to go to sleep without evident proof that he's still breathing. Beside, I don't want him to wake up alone. Hasn't he been alone enough in the last two months? Just bring me an extra pillow and I'll sleep here ok? You've already bent the rules by letting Katie and I stay here all day, you can bend them to allow me to spend the night with him. Lord knows you wouldn't be able to make Reid move from this chair if the situations were reversed"

"Argh…I swear you two are the two most stubborn people I have ever encountered!" said an exasperated Chris. "No other you were at each other's throats before. Neither of you is ever ready to give."

" Yeah well…it keeps things entertaining doesn't it?" joked Luke.

"Yeah I guess it does. Do try to sleep some would you Luke. If you look half-dead when Reid wakes up, it will only worry him and then he'll scream at me, detailing how incompetent a doctor I am." Luke gave small chuckle. Boy how he wished he could hear Reid insult Chris' competence right now.

Luke stayed sitting, holding onto Reid's hand, as the other two left the room to get some much needed sleep at home. Looking at Reid, so frail and pail and still, was heartbreaking. It was an absolute nightmare. "See Reid. That's why I wanted the overnight rooms and some entertainment in the new wing. Because sitting around doing nothing and not knowing what will happen to your love one is hell. You know, I don't understand why Bob was worried about the integrity of the project. You've been interested in me for quite a while apparently and yet, you've never lost a chance at insulting and double guessing every single suggestion I made for the new wing. You never once stopped being your hardass self or stopped being less than brutally honest with me. You don't play games. I don't know why Bob thought our relationship could have an influence on our professional decision. I mean, I'm not the best at separating my personal life from…well everything actually" Luke gave a small chuckle. Yeah his personal life and emotions normally affected every aspect of his life."but you're the exact opposite. If I had ever brought the personal into the professional, you would have stopped me immediately. You would have made it clear from day one that just because we were together, didn't mean that you'd go for any airhead scheme I would come up with, wouldn't you?" Luke looked at Reid's unconscious form. He wasn't moving at all.

"You know, I'd like you for a while too. From way before the kiss in Dallas actually. Oh I didn't want to admit it to myself of course. You were just so frustrating I wanted to punch you most of the time and…back then I didn't want to admit to myself that maybe Noah and I weren't NoahandI any longer. It was…it was a really frustrating time. On one hand, you drove me nuts, on the other hand, you made me laugh, smile and flirt like no one else had before. I had so much fun with you. I loved annoying you. Do you know I purposefully sought you out about any reason just because I wanted to see you and I wanted to see that look on your face when you're irritated with me? It was fun. How long until starts calling me names? You made the few months in my life that should have been unbearable, completely bearable. And when you kissed me…Do you remember when we got back from Dallas and you wanted to talk about the kiss but I didn't? You said I didn't want to talk about it because I liked it. Actually, you were wrong. Well not wrong as much as you were saying the understatement of the year. What you made me feel…It's a good thing you pager went off. I couldn't answer that question back then. I still can't answer it now, because what you made me feel, I have never felt before. And that's confusing, because before I met you, I was sure that I knew exactly what love, lust, desire felt like and then I meet you and you kiss me and….nothing makes any sense anymore. It was like an explosion." Luke tried to stop a sob. Lord this was hard. This man made him feel so much and now he was in a hospital bed… Thinking about happier times hurt…He just…he wanted him to wake up so badly. He wanted to tell him these things while he was awake but he had never been able to. Reid and him really weren't good at expressing themselves when the other was concerned.

"When you kissed me,," Luke started again, determined to say everything he wanted to say for so long even though the other couldn't hear him. After all, it couldn't hurt to practice and Luke needed to get this off his chest before all his emotions made him explode. He needed to be closer to Reid for the next part. Slowly, careful not to touch any medical equipment or hurt Reid, Luke lied down sideway on the bed beside Reid and started playing with the other man's hair, still holding one of his hands.

"When you kissed me, I had this surge of intense happiness inside of me, like you wouldn't believe. If I hadn't been so shocked, I would have been grinning like a maniac and jumping around giddily. And that never happened before. One of the reason I kept keeping you at arms lengths is because what I feel when I'm with you, is always more intense than what I've felt with anyone else. You make me feel much more than others and that's scary because…you can make me happier than I've ever been. But the opposite is also true Reid. The things with Noah…they hurt me so much. They're still hurting me. It was so hard. I loved Noah so much and he was my first love and for things to go down like they had, for things to end like that…it was hard and it's still painful. But what I feel for you and with you…I never felt with Noah. As much as I talked about Noah being the love of my life, I actually never felt even close to how I feel for you. So I had to stop it. I had to protect myself Reid. Especially after the ultimatum. When I love, I give myself completely and that means that I'm generally the one who gets hurt the most. And when you were ready to take a break, it felt like you were giving up on me. It also made me feel like my opinion wasn't important in your eyes because you hadn't consulted me. Gosh, you and I really need help with the whole conversation thing. It's like we try to talk but it never comes out quite the way we want and we never quite hear exactly what the other is really saying. But I think, the biggest problem is that we leave. Every time the situation gets serious or uncomfortable, one of us leave. And we hurt each other. But this time it'll be different Reid. I'm done running. I'm not leaving your side and I'll be damn if you try to leave mine before we ash things out. I suppose there's one positive thing with you being in this bed, huh? This way I'm sure you won't be running away. It's your turn now after all" Carefully, Luke found a position more comfortable and fell asleep beside the man who had, unknowingly to them both, completely stolen his heart.

When Katie Snyder woke up the morning after, she felt like she hadn't slept in a week. Her arms and legs were so heavy she had difficulty moving them. 'Coffee' she thought as she slowly dragged herself to the kitchen. 'I need coffee' Going to the kitchen and preparing herself a cup of coffee seemed to take an hour. She was definitely in slow motion today. She had no idea how she was going to get to the hospital. She was in no state to drive a car right now. Maybe taking a shower would wake her up. At least, it'll make her smell better. An hour later, Katie was ready to go and waiting on Henry to pick her up and bring her to the hospital. He friend had been extremely nice, taking time off to take care of Jacob while she was at the hospital. Once she arrived there, the sight she encountered warmed her heart. Luke was snuggled against Reid's left side, his head on the older man's shoulder and his left arm around his waist. If Reid hadn't looked so horrible, she would have taken a picture of them like this with the camera she constantly have on her in case Jacob does something cute…Oh who was she kidding? Even with Reid sick, this scene was way too adorable not to be immortalized. Plus it would serve as a good reminder for Reid as to how bad Reid state had been and how much Luke clearly cared about him. She wondered silently if she should feel bad about intruding on the two men's intimate moment, but dismissed the notion quickly. It was just a part of who she was. They'd get used to it eventually. But right now, leaving them alone seemed like the best solution. Luke really needed to sleep. Katie would go question the doctors and let him be for now.

Reid Oliver felt like he was floating in a giant cloud. His senses were foggy and asleep. Slowly, one by one, his senses started working again. The first thing Reid Oliver came to know was the sound of a heart monitor being in the background. Yet, he couldn't make the connection between the monitor and being in the hospital. For what seemed like an eternity, the only thing Reid was aware of was that annoying beeping sound. But eventually other information started to enter his brain. There was a source of warmth on one of his side (he couldn't tell if it was the left or the right one right now). There was also small burst of air on his neck coming from that side. He had the impression that he should do something, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what. So he just stayed there, in limbo.

"Do you think we should wake him up?" Reid heard a voice say. It was strange. There seemed to be some sort of echo in the voice. It sounded so far away. He could tell however that it was a feminine voice, a soothing voice. This voice was pleasant to hear.

"No. I think we should let him sleep until we need to run further test on Reid." For some reason, the second voice left an unpleasant impression in Reid's mind. He didn't really like the second voice, but he had no idea why. He hoped the second voice wouldn't talk anymore.

"Ok. Be truthful Chris. How does it look right now for Reid"

"It's hard to tell when he's still unconscious. Right now, we can just wait." Reid didn't like the sound of that. It didn't seem to be what the first voice needed to hear.

"Ok" the first voice answered. It sounded so sad. Reid didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. He didn't want the first voice to be sad. He didn't want the first voice to cry. Suddenly, the source of warmth on his side seemed to shift.

"Waiting is what we've been doing for over a day Chris. What we want is answers. Anything" softly said a third voice, much closer than the other two. It sounded groggy and wasn't as loud as the others. But most of all, it sounded voice. Reid liked that voice. Something was special about it. Precious. Like…like home. This voice felt like home.

"Hey. How are you holding up Sweetie" said voice number one with a tender tone.

"I'm…holding up" answered voice number three. Something wasn't right. The third voice sounded so depressed and worried. Reid didn't like it. He liked voice number three being sad even less than he liked voice number one being sad. For some reason, Reid felt as if he should do something. He felt like he needed to do something to make that voice less sad. And with that thought, Reid Oliver drifted back into full consciousness.

Luke Snyder woke up to the worried voice of Katie Snyder and the patient voice of Chris Hughes. Apparently, nothing had changed since he had fallen asleep and Chris couldn't tell them much of anything. Luke didn't like that and voiced his opinion about it. Katie looked much better this morning than she had the night before, but you could still see a haunted look in her eyes. Luke supposed he had the same look in his. Luke looked at the still form of Doctor Oliver and passed his hand through the man's hair, as if to comfort him when actually, he was the one who needed comforting. He was getting lost in his thoughts when suddenly, he saw something from the corner of his eyes. 'Wait a minute' Luke thought. 'Did Reid just twitch?' Luke started moving his hand again, this time looking intensely at Reid's face. There! He twitched. He reacted to Luke's touch! And it looked like he was trying to open his eyes.

"Omg. Katie, get Chris back in here. He's waking up!"

"What?" Katie startled out of her thoughts, surprised. She immediately got up and closer to Reid. "Are you sure?"

"Yes look see?" Luke petted Reid's hair once more and again Reid reacted. His eyes were now moving more, as if trying to get his eyelid to open and Luke and Katie were able to hear a very soft groan.

"Omg!" Katie ran to the door and opened it. "Chris, get in here! He's waking up!" Katie screamed at him, excitedly. Omg. Reid was waking up. She was so happy. She knew deep down that he wasn't fine yet. He was still only skin and bones and it would take a while for him to get back to his former self, but right now none of this mattered. Reid was out of the coma. It was the first step they needed for things to finally turn right again.

Chris Hughes was surprised when Katie screamed for everyone to hear that Reid Oliver was awaking. Surprised and happily relieved. Quickly he went back to the room he had just left.

"He's groaning and trying to open his eyes" said Luke with smile.

"Reid. Reid can you hear me?" asked Chris. " can you hear me?"

Reid groaned. "Stop" he said, too softly for anyone to understand what was said.

"What? can you repeat that please?"

"Stop"he said a little louder.

"Stop what?" the other doctor asked

"Stop talking" Reid answered opening his eyes slightly. "Your voice annoys me"

Luke and Katie couldn't help but burst out laughing at that. Both of them had tears of relief and happiness falling from their eyes. Reid Oliver was back.

"Hey Reid" Luke said softly. "Can you see me? Do you know who I am?"

Reid turned his head towards voice number 3 and was greeted by the sight of an angelic face with tears falling from its eyes and a huge smile plastered on it.

"Luke" Reid answered in wonder. "You're Luke"

"Yeah" Luke sobbed. "I'm Luke. I'm Luke." Luke couldn't contain his emotions anymore. He burst out crying, his body shaking as uncontrollable sobs overtook his body. He had been feeling so many emotions in the last 24 hours that the relief and happiness that he felt now had completely broken his defence and made him explode in tears.

"Hey. Hey" Reid said in a comforting, though weak, voice. "Why are you crying?"

"Why am I crying? Why am I crying? My god Reid why do you think? After what you did…"

"Luke, calm down" interrupted Chris in his serious voice. "Reid doesn't need this right now. He probably doesn't have a clue as to why he's in a hospital bed in the first place. You'll have to wait to discuss the two last months with him."

"You're right" Luke agreed, calming himself down. "I'm sorry Reid. I shouldn't have taken that tone with you. I just…I was worried. And I'm happy you're awake. And it doesn't matter why I'm crying right now, ok? The only thing important is for you to get better. And for that, you need to let Chris treat you and answer all of his questions even if his voice annoys you. Can you do that?"

. "Do I have to?" Reid groaned

"Yes you do!" Answered Katie's stern voice. "Right now you're going to do exactly what Chris tells you to do, when he tells you to do it"

"But Katie. It's Doogie" Reid whined, but the only reaction he got was a chuckle from everyone in the room.

"Ok Luke. Let's leave Chris to do his doctor mojo ok?" Katie said, putting her hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Ok" Luke told her. "Listen Reid, I'm going to leave the room so Chris can do his job properly ok? But I won't be far. I'll stay right here outside of this room and I'll come back in as soon as I get the ok. I'm not leaving" Reid nodded his head, slightly confused at Luke's speech.

"Reid, look at me" Luke reached out and gently took Reid's chin, turning his head towards him. "I'm not leaving you. Do you understand me?" Luke asked. Reid still looked like a lost puppy though. Slowly, Luke lowered his forehead until it touched Reid's. Luke looked at the man he loved right in the eyes, trying to convey his message more clearly. "I'm **not **leaving you **ever** again. **Ever**." Slowly, recognition crept in Reid's eyes. He understood what Luke was saying now. He wasn't sure why the younger man was saying it, especially with so much conviction and affection, considering what had happened two months ago, but he had received the message loud and clear. Luke smiled at him gently and Reid couldn't help but respond to him with his own small smile. Then Luke touched his cheek with his hand and kissed his forehead and then left the room with Katie.

AN: There you go! Chapter 5 should be ready tomorrow. It may be the last chapter though I haven't finish writing it just yet, and originally this was supposed to be a 5000 words one-shot (I wonder why some of my teacher said I needed to be more concise. ) Anyway, hope you enjoy it!


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

The first thing Luke and Katie saw when they opened the door was a crowd of nurses all gathered around the door, waiting impatiently to hear the news. Was Doctor Oliver really awake? Did he talk? Did he remember what happened? Was he able to answer some basic questions? Was he suffering from amnesia? The questions wouldn't stop coming at them from every direction. It took Katie speaking in her stern voice to shut them up and allow them to place a word in between. They told them what they knew and each nurse then went back to work, asking Luke and Katie to tell to keep them inform of any important information. The surgery nurses were particularly adamant about that point. Dr. Oliver's situation had hit them hard. They felt personally involved in the situation because they had been the ones working with the doctor and not noticing something was wrong. Chris made various test for the rest of the day, asking Reid a bunch of questions to test his memory and cognitive process. Then, he had left Reid to his much needed sleep. He had explained to Katie and Luke that they shouldn't expect Reid to be awake for long periods of time for the next several days. The regiment Reid had lived under for the last two months had left him extremely weak. It was important to let him rest, and to not upset him or pressure him. This would be a long recovery and although he knew and understood that they both wanted to talk about these two months with Reid, right now he was not in a state favourable to serious discussions. He also warned them that Reid would most likely be in pain for a while due to the caffeine withdrawal and that if ever they thought they were starting a cold, they needed to stay away from Reid because his immune system was incredibly weak at the moment. It was a miracle that the other man hadn't caught anything yet. Chris Hughes was extremely grateful to Allison for transferring as many patients as possible to other doctors. No doubt that there were a couple of colds and flues in those cases and it was a very good thing Reid hadn't been exposed to them.

In the next two weeks, Katie and Luke alternated their visit to the hospital. When Katie was in the hospital with Reid, Luke was at her home taking care of Jacob (and missing Reid like crazy, but nobody needed to know that) and the day after, Luke was the one staying at Reid's side. Luke was pretty much living at Katie's now. The night after Reid had woken up had been very hard on the two friends. The excitement at seeing their friend awake had slowly faded with the awareness of what was to come. That night, Luke and Katie had stayed up, drinking coffee and talking about how they felt about the whole situation and remembering good moments with Reid. It was that night that Katie finally learned who put the moves on whom and when. She had to admit that a part of her had been surprised to know that Reid had been the first one to kiss the other. She explained to Luke that although Reid was overly confident when it came to his intelligence and talent as a doctor, he was incredibly insecure where emotions were involved. And beside, it was Luke that she had witness flirting and eye-sexing the other the most, a comment at which Luke Snyder became a very adorable shade of red. These nighttimes' discussions became a routine for the two friends, although they now did them in the evening instead of in the middle of the night. As a result, Luke almost always slept at Katie's nowadays. On the couch of course. Or so Luke had made Katie believed. In reality, he waited for Katie to have gone to sleep, to sneak into Reid's room and sleep in his bed, surrounded by Reid's soothing smell. What Luke didn't know, however, was that Katie was well aware of that little habit of his. Luke had forgotten that a baby woke up at odd hours of the night. Therefore, the first night Luke spent in Reid's room, when Jacob woke up his mother crying loud enough for the walkie-talkie to pick it up but not enough to wake up Luke, Katie had noticed Luke not being on the couch. And she had smiled when she had seen him sleeping in her roommate's bed (…and she had taken a picture….what? You had to admit it was too cute to miss! And it's not like she was going to post it on Facebook! Although…). She didn't mention anything to Luke though. She figured it was something the younger man wanted to keep private and respected that decision.

After two weeks, Reid's condition started to pick up much more quickly. His cheek were already less hallow than they had been and he was able to stay awake for a much longer amount of time now. However, when Reid's health started to pick up, so did his personality. Principally, it was his darn stubbornness that came back. But times 3, thanks to a really nice little thing called "withdrawal from caffeine addiction causing irritability in the subject». Not for the first time in the last few days, Luke Snyder found himself having an argument with Reid Oliver. That man was impossible! Chris had slowly started giving Reid some food. At first, Reid had to eat only small quantities because his stomach was unused to receiving big amounts of food, and would automatically reject the surplus. But now he was ready for larger meals, three times a day. However, the other man wouldn't hear anything of it and categorically refused to eat anything!

"Reid, you have to eat something. It's lunch time"

"So what? I'm not hungry. How many times do I have to tell you? Do you not understand the definition of hungry?" Oh yes and his sarcastic, snarky side had resurfaced too. It was just like old times. A little too much like old times actually. Luke was witnessing the resurgence of the Reid Oliver he had first met when the Doctor had arrived in Oakdale. And it was driving him nuts. Now don't misunderstand him. Luke loved Reid, jerk-like attitude included, but there was just a limit to what one could take and Luke was really close to reaching his.

"Yes Reid I understand what hungry means. But guess what? I understand what "he needs to eat three times a day to get better" means too. The doctor said you have to eat lunch from now on, so you'll eat lunch."

"I don't want to. Beside all the food you bring me taste horrible." Reid replied with a rather nasty tone.

Luke sighed in anger again. He was starting to have a headache.

"Reid you need to eat.."

"And I said I didn't want to eat. You should ask Doogie to check out your ears" Reid cut in.

"God! you're lucky I love you so much or I'd kill you right now!" Luke screamed at Reid angrily, not even noticing he had just told Reid he loved him for the first time.

"What?" Luke asked annoyed and confused at Reid's flabbergasted face. 'What?' Luke thought. He thought back on what he just said. What could have surprised Reid so much he…Ah.

"Ah yeah, well" Luke said blushing like crazy. "That wasn't exactly how I had wanted to tell you I loved you."

"No kidding"

"Well, I'll have you know Dr. Oliver that you don't exactly make it easy. You've been driving me nuts for days now"

"The door is right there. You could have used it" Luke glared murderously at Reid for that.

"I'm not leaving you Reid. You can't make me. So you can bitch all you want, I'm still staying right here with you where I belong. Clear?" Luke said in a hard voice. Reid didn't answer anything to that. Then Luke calmed down and started to think about what they had just said.

"Is that what you've been doing?" Luke asked "Have you been testing me? Seeing how far you can push before I leave?" Reid looking away from him told him everything.

"Well that was stupid Reid. I'm not leaving. No matter what you do, no matter how you act, I will not leave you"

"I'm starting to see that" whispered Reid.

"Gosh. I can't believe you've been acting like a jerk on purpose!"

"Tired of me yet?"

Luke looked at Reid in the eyes before answering "Never". Reid gulped. The emotions in Luke's eyes were too intense to look at.

"Although I **am** more than a little irritated with you right now" Reid smiled

"Good" He said "You're cute when you're frustrated" Now it was Luke's turn to smile.

"Oh really ?" Luke asked coyly.

He never got an answer though as the door swung open and in came Allison Stewart.

"Hey!"

"Hey Alli!" said Luke "making your rounds?"

"Not quite. I heard you've been complaining about the food they bring you from the cafeteria, " said Allison as she sat on Reid's bed and took a brown paper bag out. "So I figured I'd bring you your favourites to munch on. Triple chocolate and marshmallow granola bar, cranberry-raspberry yogurt, carrot and cinnamon cake and of course two green apples. " Allison said as she took each item out of the bag. "You always seemed to eat those right away when you saw them, so I figured you liked them a lot and it would cheer you up after having to eat hospital food. I didn't have any home-made plum pudding though, sorry."

Allison gave a smile. Luke for his part looked at Allison with a confused expression. He didn't really understand what Allison was doing or why? And how did she know that Reid ate any of those. Plus they weren't particularly healthy, although eating that was much better than not eating at all. Reid for his part looked at Allison with a shock look, as if he had never seen her before.

"You…" started Reid. "You were the one leaving me all these snacks in my office?"

"Well…" Allison started rather embarrassed. "When I got that stomach flu, I couldn't eat anything and didn't go to lunch. I noticed that you hadn't taken a lunch break on those days either. You were already working so much, skipping meals was a bad idea. I figured that the problem with eating was that it took too much of your time so I thought I'd leave food on your desk so you could eat at the same time as writing your reports." Reid didn't know how to react to that new information and Luke completing it didn't make matters any easier.

"I didn't know about the food, but I know Alli really looked out for you Reid. She tried to talk to Bob many times about you, and Katie told me how Alli would transfer as many non-surgery related cases unto other doctors so you could take a breather."

"But it wasn't enough. I should have done more. I…"

"Hey" Reid interrupted, taking Allison's hand in his "What happened is not your fault. What happened…I…I appreciate what you've done for me. But I'm a grown man. I take my own decisions and in this case, it was a stupid decision and I made very stupid actions. But they were mine to make and you couldn't have stopped me Miss Stewart. You had the possibility to help me though and you did. Those snacks you gave me and the naps I was able to take here and there apparently thanks to you, they helped a lot. So thank you. I appreciate it" Reid spoke slowly. It was apparent that this speech was hard for him to say. Luke knew that Reid wasn't used to people doing things for him for no other reason than because they wanted to and cared about him, and as such, he was very unused to saying thanks.

Allison squeezed his hand. "I'm glad you're doing better . The surgery wing really isn't the same without you."

"Pff. Please. People must be dancing in joy at not having to see me"

"Reid you know that's not true"said Luke, but Allison stopped him from saying more by raising her hand. She stood up and went to pick up the bag she had left close to the doors.

"If that is true , then can you explain why the other nurses gave me the job of handing these to you once you were better?" Allison asked as she took out a huge pile of cards of different sizes, some of them very big. Some of them were obviously handmade while others had been bought. "Every single nurse who has ever worked with you send you at least one card." Reid looked at the pile now sitting on his legs. He was completely speechless. Reid knew perfectly well that he was a very hard man to deal with yet there were so many of them.

"You're strict and hard and sometimes we call you a slave-driver. You make comments about our competence and our intelligence and they're not exactly flattering. But under that socially-inept mask of yours, there's a really good guy that, although we complain about him quite often, we like working under. You're honest, and although sometimes you insult us, you trust us with more responsibilities than any other doctor in this hospital. You have never looked at us as if nurses were less important than doctors. Ever. You're different and that's refreshing. At least with you we're never bored. And as much as we don't like being the one under your fire, we all admit it's pretty entertaining to look at. One nurse even wrote that she wished she had popcorn so she could sit back and enjoy the show when you go on one of your rants!" For the first time since being admitted to the hospital, Reid Oliver genuinely smiled. "We care about you Dr. Oliver and we want you back. Like I said, it's really not the same without you. Other staff members find us crazy to miss you, but we do. So please get well soon. Things are so boring without someone to bitch about during our hour long lunch break" Allison added, with a jokingly tone before she left to go do her rounds.

Reid looked at all the cards once more. "There quite a lot of them. Surprised?" Luke asked

"Well yeah actually" Reid said picking up the granola bar Allison had brought him and started eating it.

"I'm not"

"Pff. Of course you're not. You think the best of people. And as much as you've been complaining about me these last days, you're still the one who has seen the best parts of me" Reid said in between bites. He then picked up an apple. Green apples were his favourite.

"Well actually, the reason I'm not surprised is because I saw how the nurses reacted when you were in the coma." Reid looked at him, curious. "They all dropped everything to come here and sat on the chairs facing this room and waited. They waited for hours holding each others hands, comforting each other, especially Allison who was taking it really badly, and telling each other stories about you, laughing sadly as they remembered you. It was a bombshell on them Reid. They were worried. They may not like you sometimes because of your attitude, but they do care about you. You grew on them, horrible social skills and all."

"That was very nice of them" Reid said, picking up a card and starting to read it. It made him laugh.

"What?" said Luke

"There's a business card in it"

"Whose?"

"Mine" Luke looked at him confused.

"Reid Oliver: master of verbal judo, sarcasm and insults. According to this nurse, I should open an Anti-Hallmark card shop specializing in particularly nasty break-up cards for cheating partners and offer my services, using this business card, as an Anti-Cyrano De Bergerac"

"Uh. Now I get why they miss you so much. They're as crazy and weird as you are!" said Luke, laughing along with Reid. It was good to see him so relaxed and enjoying himself again. Luke made a mental note to thank Allison the next time he saw her.

Bob Hughes was a well-liked, well-respected man. As such, he was used to smiling faces surrounding him. His wife loved him dearly and his staff appreciated and respected him. Recently however, things had been much different. By the time Luke Snyder stood before him, accusing him of causing Reid Oliver's state, Kim had already voiced her dislike at the idea of selling the hospital to a big corporation and her disappointment in him for not retracting his ultimatum to (who she said had finally started acting like a reasonable human being thanks to Luke Snyder) several times. He had been, however, rather successful at avoiding her and those two months had been rather good, though incredibly busy with the potential selling of Memorial. Now, however, things were much different. For one, he found himself wishing for Kim to scream at him. After Luke Snyder had returned at Reid's bedside, his wife at looked at him with more anger, and disappointment that he had ever seen before, had shaken her head and left without saying a word. For the last two weeks, Kim Hughes had not said a single word nor looked a single time at her husband. She gave Bob Hughes a whole new definition of the words "cold shoulder". The atmosphere at home was glacial. Kim spent as much time away as she could, relying on their son Chris to relay important messages to her husband. And things at Memorials weren't much better. While most of the doctors were still as respectful as before, some of them seemed to be a little more distant nowadays, like they had put a barrier between Bob and them. But generally, things with the doctors were just fine. The **nurses** were his major problem. The entirety of the nurse staff did everything they could to not work with him. They also gave him the cold shoulder much like Kim. They ignored him when they could, and spoke to him monotonously instead of with their usual enthusiasm. The surgery nurses however were another story. Never in his life had Bob Hughes seen such murderous glares directed at him. These nurses categorically refused to have anything to do with him. He was forbidden from even stepping one foot in their department. He had tried once and it hadn't turned out well.

When Bob had first tried to visit the surgery department after Reid's hospitalization, he was greeted by four nurses coming to stand in front of him, arms crossed on their chest, glaring at him and telling him that he had no business there and they wanted him to leave. He had tried to reason with them but was told "We are nurses. Our job is to heal patient at the best of our capabilities. We know what's best for our patients Dr. Hughes and you're the opposite of that for everyone. Take your destructive ambitions elsewhere. We don't want or need your shit (that word had surprised Bob). We have plenty of other doctors to work with without needing the likes of you (anger and disgust were dripping from these last words) You want to come here? Well **we** want to come back here and push us to work harder. Wewant to hear his sarcasm and witness his miracles. We want to bitch about his latest irritating behaviour in the cafeteria. But we can't get what we want all the time, can we? You want to come back in this wing Dr. Hughes? Take it up with once he's back on duty. Until then, you stay the hell away from us and let us do our job. Once our doctor is back, we'll see if he's capable of convincing us to change our minds."

Bob had then gone to his son and had asked him to deal with the situation. The answer he had received hadn't been what he had hoped for. "Sorry Dad, but they're not going to listen to me. These nurses have closed down their ranks. One of their own was slighted and they're ready to go to bat for him against the one who caused this. I've tried to talk with them and so have other doctors, but it's useless. These nurses have decided that from now on they were Reid Oliver's nurses. They won't take orders from anyone but him. It doesn't stop them from doing a good job. Actually their performance is as good as ever. Allison told me that every day a new nurse takes on the role of slave-driver that Reid left behind and pushes the others to work hard so that when Reid comes back, the department will be as if he had never left. I know their cold attitude is a little hard to deal with, but there's nothing we can do about it. Reid is still in a bad shape. They're worried for him and so long as they don't see him well, I don't think any of them are going to be much pleasant to be around with. They still treat the patients as well as ever though. They're professional….but pissed off. Just stay away from them ok. Let me deal with their department."

"I just don't understand why they are acting this way"

"Well I admit, a month ago I would have been shocked at the nurses' reaction to Reid's sickness, but now I'm not because when I found out how much he had worked, how bad his condition was, I reacted strongly too. I was very worried about Reid, Dad. I still am yet I don't like the guy and have seldom worked with him. These women spent a lot of time with him. Plus, it doesn't help that they all think you were acting like the most inconsiderate douche of all times when you gave that stupid ultimatum."

"It wasn't stupid"

" Dad. When you're wife, son, and colleagues all think one of your decision was stupid and unnecessary, it's because your decision was stupid and unnecessary. Reid has one of the longest stick ever up his ass when it comes to professionalism. I have never seen someone able to compartmentalize his personal and professional life as well as he can. Nor have I see someone speak his mind without any fear of hurting someone's feelings like he does. Trust me. Luke's ideas would not have been given more chances just because he'd be dating Reid. For Reid, a stupid idea is a stupid idea even if it comes from his boyfriend. Why do you think the guy was single for so long?"

And so, the situation with the surgery nurses had stayed the same and Bob was left with a good amount of people mad at him because of his ultimatum. In the last two months, although Bob had felt bad after the very first discussion he had had with Kim, he had still chosen not to retract what he had said and had been convinced it was for the best. Now however, it was becoming harder and harder to remember what his original arguments had been. In the last two weeks, Bob had put his head in the sand and had ignored the issue at hand. But now he had decided to confront all of the facts. Looking at Reid's medical file was one of the most difficult things he had done in a long time. Bob Hughes cared about his doctors and he had always seen himself as some sort of mentor. When this arrogant Texan doctor had arrived in Oakdale, Bob had taken him under his wing, determined to help the younger man discover what was truly important in life: family, friends, having a personal life... And in the months since Reid Oliver had arrived, he had seen the younger doctor soften around the edges and slowly open up to certain people. And Bob had been happy about it. He had been proud of Reid for becoming less cold. He had had great hopes both professionally and personally for Reid. And yet, he had gone against everything he had preached and asked Reid to give up his personal life. Of course at the time, he hadn't seen it that way. He had seen it as the right, ethical thing to do and as giving up one love interest. But it was more than a love interest. Reid didn't like Luke Snyder. Reid was full blown in love with Luke Snyder, something Bob had failed to see. Giving up a relationship that is just starting and giving up the man you love are two different things. Plus, Bob had failed to take into account how much Luke had had influence on Reid starting to get a personal life in the first place. He hadn't known that all the positive changes in Reid had been mostly due to Luke. And when he had lost Luke, Reid had fallen back on the only thing left for him: his work. And as he looked at Reid's test results, he knew that he had been a blind old fool. And now, Bob Hughes wasn't sure how to rectify the situation. He knew that Reid had trusted him before, and he must have felt betrayed by him. He didn't know how to make things right, but he needed to find a way. If he didn't, Bob Hughes and Memorial would lose the best doctor they had ever seen. Luke Snyder would make sure of that.

AN: Finally part 5 is finished! Dear lord it's 3:30 am! I'm so dead tired, but I'm so stubborn! I wanted to finish this chap so bad. If only the theatre play hadn't finished so late (it was excellent however. The only light on the stage came from 2000 candles! Well actually about 1000 before the intermission and 1000 afterwards 'cause candles melt) Argh, I just had to be stubborn and finish this. Up to bed I go. Chap 6 will come….hopefully tomorrow night? Or Monday. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**D****isclaimer**: If I owned it, Luke wouldn't have pull away from Reid today, Noah's name would never ever cross Luke's lips again (at least not in a situation like that!) and Noah would be definitively gone from ATWT, never to come back to Oakdale because he's being very successful with his films and is madly in love with a man named Marco or whatever (See? I'm not mean. I wish Noah well….as long as he is 3000km away from Luke and has no contact with him whatsoever (or at least until he's madly in love with anyone else who is not Luke Snyder or Reid Oliver) AND as long as he stays off my TV if he's gonna act like a jerk! (and not in a good way, 'cause Reid's a jerk but he's a totally lovable and adorable one!))

**AN:** Holy ****. I haven't written anything AT ALL in a month and one day! It was hell. Seriously. Writer's block is awful. I've been really sad that I couldn't write anything because writing cheers me up. So yeah, July was a super depressing month. There was practically no Lure and I didn't even have my fics to cheer me up because of that darn writer's block! Thank goodness for other fanfic writers and their awesome fics! So I AM SORRY for ppl who read this fic because it's been over a month and a week since I updated, but finally I was able to continue it. Cross your fingers that my muse will stay with me for a long time, so I can update more regularly (I know I'm crossing my fingers!)

**Special thanks: **To **Rukelover**! For sending me ideas to try to eradicate my writers block. I know it's been a while, but I was really blocked. But today, I read your message again, copied it in word so I could read it over and over and Voilà! This chapter was born thanks to you and your ideas! So thanks girl, you rock!

**Chapter 6**

Luke sat on Katie Snyder's couch, head thrown back and eyes closed. The last month was seriously starting to take a tool on him. It had been so hard to see Reid sick and almost as hard to endure Reid's behaviour while on caffeine withdrawal. Seriously, in the last two weeks, there had been moments that made Reid's attitude when he arrived to Oakdale seem like the attitude of Mother Teresa. But Luke sat there and endured every insult, every sarcasm, without giving it back. But boy did he want to sometimes. His tongue hurt from all the times he bit it to restrain himself from placing a couple of not-so-nice words in his conversations with Reid. But Luke felt like he didn't have a choice. Reid wasn't really at fault for his behaviour. He was in withdrawal and sure it was from his own decision of drinking enormous amount of energy drink but…well he had been doing that because of Luke calling it quits. So Luke couldn't give up this time. He had to show Reid that he was here to stay. He thought he had succeeded the day he had accidentally let it slipped that he loved Reid but he wasn't sure that the message was heard and taken as a fact. So yeah, the last few weeks had been difficult. Luke was exhausted. He had been so stressed and guilty and angry…He needed to breathe.

"Hey Luke!" Katie greeted him as she entered her home. "How was Jacob? Did he gave you any trouble?"

"Katie, when have you known that kid to give any trouble to anyone? Everything was fine. How was work?"

"It was good…but apparently your day wasn't good."

"It's not the day as much as the month" Luke replied tiredly

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Katie said softly "Seeing Reid like that was hard on all of us, but especially on you."

"Yeah because it's **my** fault!"

"Luke, no! Don't…"

"It is Katie!" Luke interrupted her brusquely "I just…I…I love him okay. I do. And I did back then, when I called it quits. That's why I called it quits! I was scared…I was scared I would get my heart broken and I didn't think I could handle that. And I hurt Reid so badly… I just…it's my fault"

"Did Reid tell you that?"

"Well of course not! He wouldn't come out and say it. But it doesn't make it any less true!"

"Somehow I don't think Reid would see it like that. Have you talked to him about this? About how guilty you feel about your decision back then?"

"No" Luke said, looking a little sheepish. "I just…he's been doing so well recently…I didn't want to remind him of the bad times or upset him"

"Luke. Do you know what a porcelain doll is?" Katie asked in a serious tone. Luke looked at her like she had grown a second head. Sometimes he really didn't get his friend. Women….Gosh he was so happy to be gay! "Seriously Luke do you know what a porcelain doll looks like?"

"Yes Katie" Luke answered slowly, unsure of what in the world his friend's point was.

"Alright, now picture it in your head, then picture Reid beside it" Katie added smiling and completely ignoring Luke's 'you're insane' look. "Now tell me, does Reid look like the porcelain doll?"

Luke's look had switched to a 'I'll call 911 and ask them to put you in the psych yard ASAP' look by the time he answered "No Katie, he doesn't look like one"

"Well then" Katie said smiling "**Why** are you treating him like one!" She screamed, loosing her smile and hitting him on the head saying "Idiot"

"Ouch Katie, what the hell?"

"Luke you can't treat Reid like he's going to break any second. He won't thank you for it! In fact, he'll probably resent you for it! He has his pride Luke! Of all the things you have to know about Reid if you're gonna date him, that's one of the most important. Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't care or take care of him" Katie added putting her hand on Luke's "I know how much that was an issue between you and Noah. And you shouldn't fear that it would be an issue with Reid because it wouldn't. He won't show it and he'll certainly won't say it, but Reid, he'd actually appreciate you caring for him so much. However, he will never be able to stand you treating him like he's fragile. The man has a huge ego remember? That means that you have to care for him while still showing him that whatever is wrong with him at the moment doesn't make him weak and won't change how you act with him. And that's what you've been doing Luke"

"No I haven't. I…"

"Oh really ?" Katie asked in a sarcastic tone that would have made her roommate intensely proud. "That's why Reid's been purposefully trying to rile you up using comments he **knows** piss you off and make you tell him exactly what you think of those comments, only to have you smile a very badly faked smile and pretend everything is okay when in fact you want to grab his neck and squeeze? Luke, if there's one thing Reid hates, it's dishonesty. You have to know that. The guy is painfully, and tactlessly truthful " Luke smiled at that. It was one of the many things he liked about Reid

"And if I'm not mistaken, you like that about Reid"

"I do" Luke said softly.

"Well, Reid likes how you never let him get away with his crap. He likes how you go toe-to-toe with him. It's one of the things that attracted him about you in the first place!"

"Really?"

"Yes, really!" Katie exasperated "Seriously Luke sometimes….You tell me you love Reid just like he is, although some things you hope he will improve, like his social skills for example. But did you ever stop to think that maybe Reid feels the same way? That he loves you for who and what you are? That you don't have to restrain yourself or always walk on eggshells because you're afraid of doing something that displeases him and messing things up? Luke! You can't mess things up by being yourself! Not with Reid! It's by doing the opposite that you'll mess things up"

"Reid told you all those things?"

"When have you known Reid to talk that much?" Luke chuckled at that "But I don't need him to tell me explicitly what's going on. I just need a couple of sentences to understand all that. I know him pretty well Luke. I can tell these things and once you spent more time with him so will you."

"Man I was stupid wasn't I" Luke laughed bitterly.

"Not stupid, insecure. And confused. You and Reid need to have a talk about your relationship because right now, I don't think you're convinced you even have one with him. And Luke, you need to realise that you can't act with Reid like you would with Noah. They're different and you can't treat your relationship with Reid like the one you had with Noah because they're not going to be the same. Every relationship is different. You can't define what a relationship is based on what you had with Noah."

"I know that!"

"But it's still hard for your head to get that sometimes isn't it?" Luke nodded "Well that's something Reid needs to know. He needs to know that you may not react in a relationship like you used to react with him when you guys weren't together because you're copying how you acted with Noah, so that he understands what's going on."

"Yeah, you're right. That's…I need to talk to him. I'll go see him tomorrow. Thanks Katie"

"No problem honey" Katie said hugging him. "Now, go get some much needed sleep in Reid's bed!"

"Wha..uh what?"

"Oh come on, you didn't really think I believed you've been sleeping on the couch all this time! You may not wake up every time Jacob cries but as his mother I do!"

"Oh" Luke said blushing "So you knew about that"

"Yup! Now get some sleep! You'll have a long day tomorrow"

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Reid Oliver was bored. Actually, there was no word to describe how he was feeling. He was just….He needed to do something. Preferably something that involved a scalpel and lots of blood. And he didn't even have Luke to entertain him. Well… He had Luke. He was just not really entertaining nowadays. And Reid tried. Seriously, he tried really hard to make him explode or be snide or anything but no….that damn smile…if at least it was a real smile. If it was real, he could comfort himself for entertaining his…well Luke, but it was fake and it drove him nuts! And of course Katie had noticed something was wrong two seconds after setting foot into his hospital room and had grilled him about it until he cave and told her about his…feelings. Argh! He hated talking about feelings. Why couldn't everyone just talk about brains and chess? So yeah, Reid was bored and annoyed with his whatever-Luke-was. So when said Luke Snyder entered his room, he wasn't particularly enthusiastic about it and neither was Luke for that matter.

"Hey" Luke said timidly. Reid just looked at him silently. "Soooo…"

"So?" Reid asked

"Are you angry at me?" Luke's voice was so small. He was looking at his shoes more often then not and even had his hands in his pockets. This was all wrong. Luke Snyder was a confident, arrogant little brat who always gave as much as he got…this version of Luke…Reid didn't quite know that to do with it…it made his heart clench.

"No" Reid sighed "I'm not angry at you Luke. Why would you think that?"

"Well I know I've acted…I mean…I didn't mean to. It's just I was so worried about you and I felt guilty and I didn't know how to react or where we were or what we were rather and I didn't want to lose you but I did because I was acting stupid and…" Luke rambled rapidly

"wooo. Slow down Luke. Breathe. Breathe" Reid repeated. "I didn't catch a third of that. Slow down and form sentences that actually make some sense would you"

"Yeah I'm sorry I just…"

"How about you sit down. Whatever you have to say I'm pretty sure you better not stay standing. Plus if you start like that again, you'll faint from lack of air and it would be much less painful to fall when sitting then to fall when standing." Luke laughed at that. Boy was he nervous or what. And it was ridiculous, I mean it was just Reid. 'Yeah just Reid' Luke thought 'Just the guy you're crazy in love with, even though you didn't know you were crazy in love with him until he almost killed himself over you rejecting him and…dear god I'm doing it again aren't I? I'm rambling in my own head'

"You're babbling in your own head aren't you?" Reid asked matter-of-factly.

"ahah. Yeah I am. Listen…I talked to Katie and…"

"Oh no" Reid groaned "That woman! What did she tell you? Gosh the day she learns to mind her own business will be the best day of the rest of humanity!"

"Well, I don't know Reid. Katie makes a lot of sense, you know"

"Of course she does! She's my best friend isn't she? I don't associate with idiots Luke. That's why I tend to avoid most people in this hellhole"

"Yeah well you've kinda been associating with an idiot recently."

"Who? Doogie? That's only because he's slightly less of an idiot that the other doctors around here."

"No actually I was talking about me"

"You're not an idiot Luke. You're just acting…well I don't really know what you've been acting like."

"Like I was walking around on eggshells?" Luke suggested "Or like you're a porcelain doll that's gonna break if I'm not careful?"

"You had a long talk with Katie didn't you?"

"Yep. But then again, I always have long talks with Katie. It kinda became a tradition of ours since you've been hospitalized. I almost always have a long talk with her before going to sleep."

"In my bed" Reid added smirking. Reid couldn't keep himself from laughing at Luke's expression when he said that. His eyes were wider than ever, his cheeks were bright red and his mouth had formed a cute little 'O'. "Don't be so surprised Luke. Katie **is** my best friend after all. It's her job to cheer me up. And if to do so she has to divulge something personal that she wasn't told was a secret…"

"I just…I can't believe she did that. Well, no actually I can believe it, I just can't believe you know about that! That's so embarrassing"

"Caring about me and needing to feel close to me so much that you sleep in my bed most of the week is embarrassing?"

"Well no…I'm not embarrassed I care enough to do that, I just…"

"You just what Luke?" Reid sighed. He was tired. He just didn't have the energy or patience today to turn around the bush and go no where. Luke looked at Reid's exasperated expression. This wasn't going at all like he had planned. Damn it! Since when was it Luke who had a problem communicating?

"Look Reid" Luke started, taking Reid's hands in his. "If…the reason I'm so mortified that you know this is…well…don't…please don't interrupt me or get angry about anything I'm gonna tell you okay." Reid nodded sensing Luke's desperate need for him to listen "If…When I was dating Noah, especially recently, if I had done that…it wouldn't have been received the way you received it. When you told me you knew, you were all smug about it and flattered…that's not how Noah would have reacted and I know you're not him. Trust me I **know** you're not him. But it's…it's a little like… you know those kids with divorced parents who don't agree on the same rules? When they go to dad's place, they might get punish because they did things that are forbidden at dad's but allowed at mom's. They know they're not supposed to do it at their dad's but they're so used to it, that they do it anyway. Or they're allowed certain things at dad's but they don't dare do them because they're so used to those things being forbidden, you know what I mean?"

"Sure. Basically, you're saying 'old habits die hard' but with a hell of a lot more words." Luke laughed.

"Yeah, what I'm saying is exactly that. My definition of a relationship is what I had with Noah. Obviously, if you want to have a relationship with me, it will take me time to adjust, to learn how to act in a relationship with you. One of the things that you can expect at first is for me to tend to walk on eggshells. I'm…I'm used to being the one who messes things up, the one whose at fault…"

"Ok stop it right there." Reid said in a hard voice. Luke looked at him with worried eyes. Had he messed things up already? "You do **not **mess things up and you are **certainly** not the one at fault. It takes two to tango Luke. Always. If there is a problem in any couple, then both parties are at fault at least to some extent. Well except maybe in cases of adultery, but even some of those aren't really exceptions to this rule. Luke" Reid squeezed his companion's hand harder and grabbed his chin to force eye contact "I may have not been there from the start of your relationship with Noah, but from what I've seen since I came here, I can tell you that you weren't the one with the majority of the blame for things not working. You tried every single thing you could think of to save that relationship and the reason it didn't work has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Mr. Mayer."

"Maybe you're right. But do you at least understand how I can think that I was at fault?" Luke asked with tears rising in his eyes.

"Oh yes. I totally get that. And if I wasn't a mature adult, my fist would have had a very violent encounter with one Noah Mayer's face a long time ago. But I am a mature adult and I was his doctor so unfortunately my beating some sense into your ex's head will forever remain only a fantasy." Luke laughed.

"You know, that's one of the first things I noticed about you, Reid. The way you always seemed to cheer me up and make me forget my problems even if it was only because I was too focus on trying not to strangle you to think of anything else! I'm sorry for how I've been acting recently. I haven't been acting like myself and with you, that doesn't work because you know instantaneously that I'm faking and acting out of character. I've been…I've been feeling very unsure of where things go from now. I told you I love you…accidentally told you, but still…but love doesn't necessary means dating and I'm….well I'm pretty sure you love me back, but I'm not 100% sure of what you want with me, if you want anything to do with me at all. I mean…we haven't talked about what happened in the two months between my calling things off and you getting hospitalized."

Suddenly, Reid's face fell and became hard.

"I don't want to talk about it" Reid said harshly. "There's no need to anyway"

"Well that's just too bad Reid Oliver, because I'm not leaving this room or stopping nagging you about it until you do talk about it. Me letting you act like a jerk and smiling about it, stops right here, right now. You wanted me to be myself and to stop treating you like you were fragile, well that's what I'm doing so deal with it!"

"You have spent way too much time with Katie" Reid's tone was neutral, but in a bad way. Luke didn't like it at all. Reid had closed a wall on himself and that had to change. Luke wanted to start a serious relationship with Reid, and there was no way they could do that without Reid talking about those two awful months. If that meant pissing Reid off, then so be it. If Reid was hiding anger or resentment towards Luke and they didn't clear the air now, then those feelings would fester with time and other circumstances and it would tear their relationship apart. Reid was much too precious to Luke to allow that.

"Yeah well I didn't have a choice did I, Reid? I couldn't handle you being in this bed, hooked up on those machines and IVs. Not alone. I needed someone to rely on and so did Katie. When I wasn't able to cope then she would be there to support me and vice versa. So yeah, I spent a lot of time with Katie and I still do. Because it isn't over. You haven't talk about what happened and you need to. You don't want to, I get that, but you need to Reid. So please, please talk to me. Or scream at me or anything else!"

The only answer Luke got was silence. Luke took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Alright. Let's start with me shall we?" Reid ignored him. "On the day I called it quits, I gave you chances to tell me what was going on and you didn't. You hid things from me and you took a decision that affected the both of us without consulting me. That made me angry. I really wanted to be with you Reid and you not consulting me, that hurt. But the truth is, I didn't break things off because I was angry. I broke things off because I was scared." Reid looked at Luke at that. His expression had morphed into one of curiosity and confusion.

" I was scared Reid. Terrified actually. And those fears along with my promise never to be anyone's doormat again, made me break up with you. You see, I've moved on from Noah but I haven't moved on from the issues and the pain the relationship caused me. And because of that, I'm very insecure when it comes to romantic relationships. I'm so scared of losing you and having to live through that again, except this time it would be worse. You see, when you were in the coma, I…I had a discussion with you…well not _with_ you but you know what I mean." Reid nodded. "Do you want to know what I told you that night?"

"Yes" Reid whispered.

"I told you that when you kissed me the first time, I wanted to jump from joy. When you kiss me, I feel soooo much, I can't believe it. I can't describe it because I don't know what it is. I've been in love, I've known lust and yet I can't describe what I feel for you because it's different and it's more intense than anything. I loved Noah, Reid. I did. And my relationship with him…I suffered so much at times and the break-up was awful. I felt torn apart and the only reason it was bearable was because of you. Because I kept finding any excuse possible to talk to you. It was fun, trying to rile you up." Luke laughed and Reid chuckled. He knew what Luke meant. He had enjoyed those days too, even if Luke did annoy the hell out of him. "My point is that, if what I feel for you is more intense than what I've ever felt with Noah when I haven't even started dating you yet, then if I did date you and you broke things off…I didn't think I could handle it. So when you didn't talk to me about the ultimatum, my heart saw a perfect opportunity to save itself. I called it quits before I got hurt, over a stupid reason. And I felt like I had made the right choice…for like 3-4 days. After that, the only thing I felt was sad. I ate more ice-cream during those two months than I did my whole life. I also slept a lot more than I ever remember. Well for a while. After the first month, I was doubting my decision and missing you so much I had a lot of trouble falling asleep. It was hard on me too, to be separated from you, the only difference is that I had only myself to blame for my own pain and I ate a lot instead of starving myself like you did."

"The opposite of our usual eating habits" Reid said.

"Reid. I know I hurt you a lot. And I understand that you may be angry or may simply not want to be in a relationship with me because of that…"

"Don't say that!" Reid interrupted "That's why I didn't want to talk about this with you! Because I knew I'd see that guilty look on your face when I did and I didn't want to see that. It wasn't your fault! You didn't force me to stop eating and sleeping. I did that on my own, just like I told Allison. I don't want you to blame yourself. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was! I did this to you!" Luke screamed, tears falling from his eyes. He was almost sobbing.

"NO! Luke, look at me" Reid grabbed Luke's face in both hands and brought it close to his "You are not responsible for how I reacted. Yes, I was hurt by the break up because I love you" Luke let out a sob. "but so were you because you love me too. This whole thing…it was a whole mess. We both suffered from it and we're both partly to blame."

"No you didn't…"

"Go after you" Reid completed Luke's sentence. "I didn't go after you, I didn't fight for you and that hurt you, that proved to you that you had been right to save yourself. Don't tell me I'm wrong about that Luke, because we both know I'm right."

"Yeah. You are."

"So there, see? Something I'm to blame for. Takes two to tango Luke, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember" Luke answered calming down. "But it's really hard to apply that rule and feel like I'm not the one to blame for the problems we have"

"Come here" Reid said, indicating for Luke to come sit beside him on the bed. Reid took Luke in his arms and kissed his forehead. He really,** really** wanted to punch Noah Mayer. Reid had known for months that Luke had issues with feeling guilty but he hadn't thought he would have those issues with Reid too. He thought it was solely with Noah but apparently, Noah blaming Luke for his blindness had made more damage then he had thought. "You'll just have to work on that. I don't like my boyfriend feeling guilty about things, especially not things concerning me. I hate to say this because I am not a fan of talking but…talk to me ok? When something is wrong, when you're angry or sad or guilty, tell me these things. Because you know I am kinda of oblivious at times, so if you're angry that I forgot your birthday, chances are I won't know that's why you're angry."

"Boyfriend?" Luke asked "Does that mean we're dating now?"

"Now? I thought we'd been dating since you tried to force me to eat horrible food and told me you loved me?" Reid joked. It had the intended effect; Luke started laughing.

"But seriously, talk to me ok? Or if you feel you can't, talk to Katie. She'll kick my butt for you"

"Same thing here. I know you're not much of a talker, but try if something upsets you. And feel free to seek Katie on me too."

"Oh I will . Just remember though that Katie is **my** best-friend."

"Oh crap." Luke said, eye widening at the thousands of scenarios going through his head as to what Katie Snyder could do to him if he didn't treat her best-friend right.

"Although Katie and you seemed to have gotten a lot closer since I've been sick, so maybe I'm the one who should be worrying about what she could do to me. She does have some pretty good blackmail material on me after all"

"Really?" Luke asked grinning like the cat that ate the canary and its brother.

"Oh sh*t. I shouldn't have said that" Luke laughed

"Don't worry Reid. I won't use Katie's blackmail material." Reid sighed in relief "I don't need to. After all, I'm the one who blackmailed you into coming here in the first place. I'm more than capable enough to find my own material" Reid groaned at that, but Luke just laughed. "And the worst is, now that I have you , you're stuck with me forever."

"Forever?"

"I have an optimistic personality."

Reid laughed. "Fine, let's go with forever."

AN: Yeah! So that's it for chapter 6. I've started writing chapter 7 but since I have to get up early in the morning, don't think it will be finished today. It should be up tomorrow night around this time however! Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Do you see Reid and Luke in bed together? Do you see Noah and Richard living happily ever after in Hollywood? Do you see Barbara free from Iris' clutches so that that storyline can finally end? No? Then I don't own ATWT or anything related to it.

**CHAPTER 7**

Bob Hughes had had a terrible month. His staff was pissed at him, his son was exasperated and disappointed in him and his wife…well his wife wasn't talking to him at the moment. And that was the hardest part of it all. Bob had had some difficulties in his life before, but he had always known that he could count on Kim, his soulmate. Yet, it seemed that even their love wasn't enough in this case. And really it broke Bob's heart. He could deal with being on the bad side of his hospital staff but with Kim…No. He had to fix this. Actually he had to fix a lot of things but fixing things with Kim was first because really, on his own, he had no idea how to make things right with Reid…or how to keep the hospital afloat without Mona Cross' money. He entered the living room where his wife was reading a novel as carefully as possible. He didn't want Kim to go running from him…again. Every time he was in the same room as her, she would go somewhere else.

"Kim?" Bob asked tentatively. "May I talk with you please?" She ignored him, but she didn't leave. 'Well at least we've made progress' thought Bob. He figured it was as good an invitation as he would get. "I…It seems that I have made a mistake. A mistake that came with a very heavy cost. Kim, we've been together for so long. I always knew I could count on you and right now I need you. I thought about my actions these past few months and I know that I've made some terrible choice. Every time I have made an important decision, you have been there by my side, helping me. Yet, when I decided to sell the hospital to Invector, I didn't say anything to you. It was by coincidence that you heard about it. And for that I am sorry. I am so sorry Kim. We are a couple. We take important decisions together and although you don't work at the hospital, you've always been invested into what was happening there and it was disrespectful of me not to include you into my decision. However, you have to understand Kim, that I know you almost as much as I love you. I knew you wouldn't agree with my choice to sell the hospital to a company. I knew it because deep down, buried beneath a pile of denial, I knew I didn't agree with it either. You were right. Everything you said and I avoided listening to was right. But at the time, I…I didn't know what to do to save my hospital from this financial crisis. I still don't know what to do. However, I know that any decision that I make that could have and might still cost me one of my best doctors and many of my nurses as well, and that is disapproved by both my wife and son, is a bad decision. And I need to make that awful decision right. But I…I do not know how to repair my mistake. I was hoping that you could find it in your heart to forgive the man who loves you so much for his blatant stupidity and guide me, once again." Kim looked at him with sad eyes.

"Oh Bob" Kim sighed "You great fool" Bob sat beside her and took her hand,

"I need your help with this Kim. I'm unsure of what to do."

"What you need is more than just my help. Bob…when I found out about the ultimatum you had given Dr. Oliver, I told you what I thought about it. I told you I thought you were making a mistake"

"Yes and I realize that now. Much too late I admit but…"

"But" his wife interrupted him. "That ultimatum wasn't your only mistake. It wasn't your biggest mistake either." Bob looked at Kim, slightly confused about what she was implying. "You're biggest mistake wasn't issuing the ultimatum, but failing to notice the consequences it brought on and taking it back before it was too late. You can drop that silly choice now, but the damage is already done. Reid is in a hospital bed and he has probably lost his trust in you. Dr. Oliver is a difficult man in many ways. But I saw how he was with you Bob. It had changed so much since he arrived here. He acted mostly the same, but that's just how he is. I could see though that he had come to respect you and to trust your judgment. He had esteem for you and that's not something usual for him. He trusted you with himself. You fancied yourself his mentor in this hospital and yet you betrayed him. You let him down in a way he would have never imagined. You, who had been promoting friendship and family to him since he had arrived, deprived him of those things. Reid will get better physically and eventually, I hope he will get better emotionally thanks to Luke…but even if you take everything back now, it won't change that you lost his trust and his esteem. Those things are going to be extremely hard to get back. He's not a man who lets people in easily and he had let you in somewhat. Apologies are necessary, but I fear that it won't be enough for him to let you in again. I do not know if that will ever be possible, even with time. Reid Oliver is a very closed off person after all. That might make things at the hospital tense and he might leave. And that's only Reid. Luke…now that will be your worst challenge, darling. Reid liked you a lot, for Reid anyway, so maybe…maybe he will forgive you. He'll be distant and wary and won't let you get close to him, but he could forgive you. Luke however….he may be a forgiving person but you hurt the man he loves Bob. I saw the look in his eyes when he confronted you. That boy may not forgive you for a long time and he certainly won't trust you anywhere near Reid. I could be wrong of course, but Luke did seem particularly closed-off towards you the last time you interacted"

"Then what should I do Kim? How can I make things right with these boys?"

"With time…and many apologies."

"Alright. I suppose I should start now" Bob said getting up, but Kim stopped him.

"Just keep in mind that it might be better if Luke isn't present when you apologize to Reid. Not only do they both deserve separate apologies but it might be too hard to get them to listen to you if they're you apologize, the person you apologize to needs to be open to it. It's useless to say sorry to someone who puts defensive walls between you and him. And I fear that Luke would do just that. He is not going to be open-minded about you talking to Reid after you hurt him so much. Luke could be a negative presence in this case. No, you need to speak with Reid alone, without Luke trying to push you away from them. If Reid ends up accepting you apologies and accepts to try to forgive you, in time, Luke will follow. Although I still suggest you try to apologize to him too." Bob kissed his wife.

"Thank you, Kim. And I am sorry about how I have been acting in the last couple of months. You were right. We'll have to find another solution to the hospital financial situation than Invector. I admit I'm at lost as to a solution to that problem too."

"Memorial Hospital is an important part of this town Bob. If its citizen knew about the hospital's troubles, I'm sure that many of them would want to help and many heads are much better than one when it comes to finding that kind of solutions. But first, start by explaining the situation to your hospital staff. They're the ones who will be most affected by this."

"Thank you. You are truly a life saver, darling" Bob kissed Kim one last time before leaving for the hospital. He had a lot of things to make right.

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Luke and Reid sat on the hospital bed together in silence, Reid's arm around Luke and Luke's head on Reid's shoulder. It was comfortable. Unfortunately, they still had one more subject to talk about.

"So" Reid said "Are we going to talk about the last elephant in the room?" Luke looked at him with a puzzled expression. "The ultimatum Luke. We still haven't figured out what to do about it"

"We shouldn't have to do anything about it" Luke said angrily. "That ultimatum was stupid and Bob should have never given it to you"

"True. But he did think he was doing the right thing for his hospital" Reid said carefully. He hadn't expected Luke to be this furious all of a sudden. It was strange, for he had never seen the young man act quite like that before.

"How can you even say that? How is making one of your doctors choose between personal and professional life be a good thing for anyone. We didn't do anything wrong Reid. We have the right to be together!" Luke screamed at him. Reid's eyes widened as he watch his boyfriend explode in frustration and anger. He'd better choose his words carefully, because honestly, this Luke was unsettling and Reid Oliver wasn't comfortable with being unsettled.

"I know, Luke, calm down. What is this? I've never seen you so furious before. What is going on?"

"What do you think? I know I am partially to blame for what happened Reid, I know that. But none of this would have happened if Bob" Luke spat the older man's name "hadn't given you that stupid ultimatum. And then he didn't even notice that something was wrong with you for two months! He's the chief of staff for Pete's sake. He should have seen it!"

"Look, Luke. I'm as displeased as you are about the ultimatum. And was I hurt that Bob gave it to me and didn't fight for me or try to see how it would affect me? Yes, I was. For quite a bit of time surprisingly enough. And yes, I was disappointed and I felt…I just thought better of . But" Reid paused "I had a lot of free time recently to think and analyse situations Luke. And one of the things I've come to understand was that it wasn't as easy for Bob to make that decision as I originally thought it was." Reid tried to explain. Luke simply looked confused which, Reid decided, was much better at the moment than anger was. "It just doesn't make any sense. Bob Hughes has been telling me to get a life and to learn to love people since I first step foot in Oakhell. It's completely illogical for him to issue that kind of ultimatum."

"So?" Luke asked, still confused as to what Reid's point was.

" So, I don't think this ultimatum has anything to do with Bob's beliefs and everything to do with Mona Cross' beliefs"

"How so? She has a huge crush on you, so he thinks it's better if you appear single?" Luke said sarcastically. Reid shuddered.

"Argh. Luke please don't even joke about that. Imagining that woman liking me gives me the creeps." Luke rolled his eyes. "No seriously, I'll have nightmares. I mean, imagine she was interested in you"

"Ewww. Ok, ok. I get it. Still I don't understand what's your point"

"My point is, every working place has its own rules. As I pointed out to Bob, there wasn't any problems when his son dated Nurse Allison. Which means that Bob has no rules against interagency relationships."

"But Mona Cross and Invector might have" Luke completed.

"Exactly!" Reid said

Now Luke got it. Obviously Reid had had a lot of time to think about this. It made sense but Luke hadn't seen it before. Actually, the truth of the matter was, he had simply not cared. He hadn't cared about why Bob had made the ultimatum and how out of character it was for the older man: he had just care about what it had done to Reid and him and about how to make things right with the man he loved. In Luke's opinion, Dr. Bob Hughes could go to hell for all he cared. Sure he had liked the older man before and had respected him, but he could live without having any type of relationship with the old doctor. But it was obvious by Reid's reaction to Luke's anger that the older man still cared about Bob Hughes somewhat and wanted to try to make things right with him. Luke wasn't very keen on the idea of Bob Hughes having anything to do with the man he loved (hadn't he done enough already?) but obviously it was important to Reid, so Luke needed to at least keep his mouth shut and let the Bob try to make amends with his doctor.

"Alright, so what does it mean for us?" asked Luke "I don't think Bob will let Invector's deal go for us. He would have done so already if that was the case. Now, I could retreat as a donor and/or give up my chair on the committee, like I threaten Bob to do or I could invest in a neuro-wing at another hospital where you could work, like I also threaten Bob to do, or…"

"Wait, wait. You threatened Bob? You? When?" Reid asked, unbelieving what he was hearing.

"The day after you were hospitalized. Bob showed up at the hospital and when Chris told him about you, and Bob told Kim you were going to be fine and I… kinda blew up"

"Kinda blew up? What does that even mean?"

"Basically, I screamed at him like a banshee in front of everyone, implied or downright said he was many horrible things, basically told him f**k off, and threaten to take my money away or make you go work someplace else."

"Make me go someplace else?" Reid raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Well" Luke said blushing "I might have said that you would leave Memorial if I wanted you to."

"Really Mr. Snyder?"

"Well yes" Luke said sheepishly. Reid's expression was neutral and Luke couldn't tell if he had just said something that would trigger their first fight. "But in my defence I did say that it would need some convincing on my part before you agreed to do what I asked."

"Convincing as in blackmailing you mean" Reid teased

"Oh no I implied I wouldn't need anything like that. And I think I wouldn't." Luke said in a sure tone. Now that he was sure Reid wasn't angry or insulted, he could say what he really thought.

"Really?" Reid asked

"Yeah. I really think that if I told you that I don't like the idea of you working at Memorial, that you might just listen to me"

"Do you want me to leave Memorial Luke?" Reid asked seriously.

"Do you want to leave Memorial Reid?" Luke asked back "It's your choice. You're the one who has to work in a hospital. Me? I'll just support your choice and try to find a way around the ultimatum if you want to stay. Although, I have to tell you, I really don't want to have to put our relationship on hold and after the scene I made in front of Bob and most of the hospital staff, there's no way we'd be able to have a secret relationship."

"Then, we'll figure something else out. But first, I think we should talk to Bob."

"Why in the world would we do that?" asked Luke. Ok, so he had told himself he would let Bob near Reid for Reid's sake but it didn't mean that he wanted to talk to the older man now. Or at all really. First he was still angry at him and second…well Luke had been really mean to Dr. Hughes the last time they talked (well actually Luke screamed and Bob stood there rather flabbergasted) so a small part of him was a little shy and embarrassed at seeing him again. Luke just wasn't used to these kind of things.

"Because he's the one who holds the cards Luke. Whatever solution we come up with, if he thinks that solution still doesn't work, then we're back on square one."

"Alright. We'll talk to Bob then. I'll go tell Alli to send him in when he gets here."

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When Bob arrived at Memorial, he was informed by Allison that Luke and Reid wanted to see him. For the first time in a long while, Bob Hughes was seriously nervous about talking to one of his doctors. His wife had told him it would be easier if he talk to Reid without Luke being present and she was probably right. The last time Bob had seen Luke Snyder, the younger man had been lividly furious with him. He had never seen anything quite like it and he was wary of what was waiting for him in that hospital room. He would rather not be screamed at, at the moment. He knew he had been an idiot, but he wanted to make things right and he wouldn't have the chance to do that if young Luke tried to verbally murder him again. However, this needed to be done and if talking to Reid meant having to confront Luke, then Bob really had no room to complain about it after what he had done to those two. So it was with an unsettled stomach that Bob Hughes opened the door of Reid's hospital room. As soon as he stepped inside, Luke and Reid stopped their conversation and looked at him. Reid's face was neutral as per usual, although it seemed to hold a more fragile, for a lack of a better term, expression than normal. Although Reid had been getting much better recently, Bob could still see the results of those two dreadful months where Reid had been self-destructing and Bob had been completely oblivious about it. Luke's expression however left nothing for interpretation. The smile the young man had sported seconds before had dropped completely and his mouth was set into a hard line. He had crossed his arms on his chest, closing himself off. His eyes were glaring at Bob conveying a very clear message: if Bob did one single thing wrong, he was out. It was quite obvious that it hadn't been Luke's idea to ask to talk to Bob. However, he had obviously gone with it, which gave Bob some hope about making this first step.

"Hello Reid, Luke" said Bob politely. The atmosphere was awkward to say the least.

"Hello Bob" Reid said neutrally. Luke, wanting to be supportive of lover, decided it was better for all parties involved if he simply abstained to use his mouth. Talking and thinking about talking to Bob was one thing; facing Bob in real life was another matter entirely. Although Luke had accepted Reid's explanation of Bob's behaviour and had accepted to give the older man a chance, doing it for real was suddenly much harder than he had thought. The second Luke saw Bob entered, he was filled with all the pain, anger and resentment he had felt the day Reid was hospitalized. So yes, keeping his mouth shut was the best strategy.

"How may we help you Bob?" Reid asked. He wasn't sure if Bob was there because he wanted to or because he was told they had asked for it.

"Well, I was coming to see you when Nurse Stewart informed me that Luke and you wanted to see me. I was quite relieved to hear that; I would have hated to have bothered you over everything else."

"Everything else? Like what?" Luke asked abruptly, in a not-so-charming sarcastic tone. Darn it. Not saying anything was harder than he thought. Luke was not used to this level of anger and resentment and he didn't quite know how to keep it inside.

"Luke, please" Reid intervene.

"No, no Reid." Bob said indulgently "I appreciate what you're trying to do but young here has every right to be upset with me. I have caused the man he loves a lot of pain and if I know anything about Luke Snyder it's that he would do anything to protect the people he loves. I understand where he's coming from and to be honest, I don't think there's anything he could say right now that I haven't heard from him or from your nursing staff before." Luke smiled a little at that. He just **loved** these nurses!

"Still. I would rather this doesn't go into an hostile direction. I'm already quite tired as it is, I don't think I would handle that really well right now" Reid said. Immediately, Luke's glare disappeared and his eyes filled with guilt, worry and love. He dropped his arms and grabbed Reid's hand, squeezing it to convey how sorry he was about his behaviour. Reid simply kissed Luke's forehead, telling the younger man that he wasn't upset at all and that he should drop that feeling of guilt effective immediately. And Luke did. Bob simply looked at their silent conversation in wonderment. He had never thought he would get to see Reid this way. And yet, he was. Luke was so good for Reid; actually, no, he was perfect for Reid. Oh what a blind fool he had been.

"I must say that I do not quite know how to go about this. There are so many things I need to apologize for that I'm at lost as to where to begin" Luke and Reid left their personal little bubble and turned back toward Bob and looked at him with interest as to what he was going to say. "Seeing you like this just reinforces how wrong I was. Reid…When I asked you to choose between Luke and your position at this hospital, I did not realise I was asking you to choose between your personal and professional life. You see, when I saw you with Luke, it caught me completely by surprise. I had never even imagined that you two could be friendly to each other and therefore, I didn't realise that all those changes I had seen in you in the last months were mostly, if not all, due to Luke. I also didn't realise how serious you two were. The way you talked Reid made it seem like you weren't even dating and foolishly, I assumed it meant you weren't in love with each other. I didn't think loosing Luke would have a grave impact. If I had known, if I had seen you two just like this…well I really hope that I wouldn't have issued that ultimatum, because asking someone to choose between his job and his soulmate…"

Reid's eyebrows raised higher than ever before at the terminology used by his chief of staff. Soulmate? What in the world?

"Soul..Soulmate?" Luke stammered, putting his boyfriend's thoughts into words.

Bob laughed a little and sat on a nearby chair, making himself comfortable now that he believed he wouldn't be kicked out immediately.

"Yes Luke, soulmate. You can call me a romantic fool, but that's what I see when I look at you two. I see the kind of love that Kim and I have. The way you are so in tune with each other, the way you both help the other improve himself…You know Luke, over the years, I have heard quite a few people referring to you and Noah Mayer as the gay Bob and Kim, but to be truthful with you, I never believed that was true. Oh I know you loved Noah dearly…but I never saw between you two what Kim and I have. Well, I might have seen some of it coming from you, but from afar, I have never felt it coming from Noah. He loved you there's no doubt, but it just wasn't what I call soulmate love. And Kim is undoubtedly my soulmate even though we had some rough times. Not all loving relationship can make it through hard times"

Luke snorted. "Yeah I know all about that, trust me"

"Yes you do Luke. And looking at you and Reid, I see the kind of love that's meant to last through hard times. And I really, really hope that I wouldn't have been such an idiotic and cruel man as to push you two apart had I seen that. Unfortunately, we will never know. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for giving you that ultimatum, Reid. You are someone I have come to respect and to care for, and I betrayed that. And I'm so sorry I did. But most of all, I'm terribly sorry I didn't see how bad you were doing. You are an important person to me and to have failed you in such a way…well it's horrible. I made mistake upon mistake."

"Why did you?" Asked Reid, his tone harder than before. Having the older man apologize like that was just bringing forward all the feelings of anger, hurt and disappointment he had felt towards his mentor.

"Money" Bob spat in a disgusted tone. "This hospital is my life. I care about it and its people so much. When I realised how bad our finances were, I felt completely clueless as to how to save my hospital. So when I heard about Invector, it was like a miracle. Finally, I had a solution. But it wasn't a good one. It went against everything I have ever believed in and I knew that. But I needed to keep this hospital afloat so I used every bit of my ability for denial and buried the truth deep inside of me. But I still knew deep down that selling to Invector wasn't a good solution. That's why I avoided Kim in those two months where I let you down so much. Because I knew that my wife wouldn't stop pestering me until the truth I had buried came out. It's the same reason I avoided you. Because I knew that if I looked at you two often, I would immediately feel bad about the ultimatum and could potentially ruin any chances of this hospital being bought. I…I wish I could offer a better explanation than that for my behaviour, but I'm afraid I can't. I was desperate and I made serious mistakes and although I know it won't make things better between us, I still hope that both of you know that I am sincere in my apologies and that there is no longer any ultimatum, or Invector for that matter, and that I wish the best to both of you."

"Thank you, Bob. I appreciate that" Reid said. "I can't say that I wasn't angry, and hurt by how you acted and I can't say that I don't feel like that at all anymore. But I do understand that you wanted to do what was best for the hospital and I know that humans make stupid mistakes at time. I can't guarantee things won't be a little awkward working with you, especially since it seems the nurses who work with me have taken a particular disliking of you, but I will remain professional…"

"Of course I had no doubt about that Reid"

"And I will keep Luke from massacring you" Luke glared at his boyfriend at that comment but Reid simply smiled at him.

"Yeah what Reid said basically. We're not ok. Or at least I'm not okay with you. When I saw Reid in that state Bob, it hurt so much you can't even imagine…Or you can. If something had happened to Kim when you were a young couple due to someone else's decision. I'm sure you can understand why I'm angry and why I'm not sure of how much I can trust you when Reid's concerned"

"Yes I understand Luke. But you have nothing to worry about. I won't do anything like this again and even if I did, I think that if Reid doesn't put me in my place for it, the nurses, my son, Katie Snyder, and you will be more than ready to make me rue the day I hurt Reid Oliver"

"Good" Luke said "Then your apology is accepted. And I will try my best to treat you correctly for Reid's sake as well as my own. This level of anger just can't be healthy. Plus…I liked you Bob and I trusted you and I think I speak for both Reid and I when I say that we'd like to have some of that back" Reid nodded. "But it'll take time"

"Of course. I just…if there are any problems, don't be afraid to call me on it."

"Bob, when have you known me not to call you on your stupidities at least once" Reid answered back. Bob laughed a little at that. "Well, I was just making sure that at least that hadn't change Reid." Bob said before leaving the two lovers alone.

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"Well that went well" Reid said, glad to have been right about it being a good idea for them to talk to Bob.

"Yeah, yeah, you were right. It did help to talk to him."

"And you didn't even have to threaten him"

"Not for the lack of wanting to. I just…I didn't think you would have appreciated me threatening your boss"

"Not in this case no. Although Bob was so nice today that you probably could have gotten away with making threats at him. Darn…maybe I should have let you after all. It's not any day I get to see you do that"

" Are you saying you would have enjoyed watching me be threatening?"

"I always enjoy watching you" Reid stated matter-of-factly "Well….unless it involves Noah Mayer or you being sacrilegious enough to throw away good food. I think I'm still traumatize from the last time" he joked

"Last time of what? Me being with Noah or throwing away food?" Luke asked, deciding to play along.

"Both actually. Although disgusted would be a better adjective to describe what I feel when I see you with Mr. Mayer."

"Yeah well, you'll have to get used to that" Reid frowned and look quizzically at his boyfriend. His jaw was set tightly as if to mask anger. 'Damn, me and my big mouth' Luke thought. Things between them had just settled down and he had to bring up Noah. And when the other man still wasn't talking to him! He should have kept his mouth shut. This wouldn't be an issue for a while after all. "Look Reid. Noah was a big part of my life. So yes, I want him to be a part of it still. Is he a part of it right now? No. Noah still won't talk to me. We haven't spoken in months. But I do have the hope that things between us will get better and that we can rediscover each other as friends. I know a lot of exes don't stay friends for a variety of reasons, but I'd really like to try with Noah. I still love him and I want him to be in my life. And I hope that you can understand and accept that even if you might not like it."

"You're right. I don't like it. At all."

"Reid…"

"No Luke. You can't expect me to be comfortable with that, especially right now. You know, I've been interested in you for longer than you have been in me** and** you've known I was interested in you for a much longer time than I knew you were interested. God Luke, I wasn't even sure you were seriously interested before you accidentally used the phrase 'if I didn't love you so much' that other time."

"What? Reid. Of course I was interested in you before that!"

"Really? And how was I supposed to know that? Was it when you said you and Noah were figuring things out? Or…or wait! Was ii when you said you were still **in love** with him?" Reid asked sarcastically.

"Don't be like that" Luke said softly.

"Be like what Luke? Seriously how am I being? Unreasonable? Stupid? Jealous? What?" Reid screamed. It was like a gate had been opened and he could stop the flow. Cliché, yes but it was the best way he could describe what was happening. He just couldn't stop himself. He was so sick of hearing Luke always talk about Noah and how important he was. He knew that and he didn't need Luke to continuously bring it up. It was like Reid had no chance of ever measuring up to the wonder that was Noah Mayer, like he would never be good enough for Luke. Like he was the boyfriend only because Mr. Mayer had decided he wanted nothing to do with Luke anymore. And Reid couldn't keep all these pent up emotions and thoughts that he had had nor the ones he hadn't been aware he had. He exploded and Luke sat there listening to Reid telling him all those things as he tried to stop the tears from flowing. Things had been going so well and now…Luke needed to get out of here. He didn't….he had never thought Reid thought all these things. It made Luke feel like such an awful person. He wanted to tell Reid he was wrong but…right now he couldn't. It was too much. There had been too many emotions involved recently and Luke couldn't take it. He really needed to leave before he fell apart in a sobbing mess.

When Reid had finished his diatribe, Luke stood up. "I think…um you know, it's getting late and Chris said you need to rest still and I promise Katie I'll do some grocery shopping since I'm eating her food and all…and…" Luke choked out, looking at his feet. "I'll just…I'll come and see you tomorrow ok?" Luke almost whispered. Reid's anger had fell as soon as he had seen Luke's face. He was crying and he looked so small. Reid's chest hurt. He hadn't meant to say all these things. Many of them, he believed or had believed at some point in time but…he had never meant to hurt Luke.

"Luke" Reid started wanting to apologize, but as he said the name, the younger man was already sprinting out of the hospital room. "Luke!" Reid screamed. He got up as quickly as possible and went to follow Luke but unfortunately, the young man had been much quicker than the still recovering doctor and he was no where in sight. "Oh crap. Damn it!" Reid exclaimed as he punched the wall at his own stupidity.

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**AN**: I'm sorry! Please don't throw tomatoes! I don't know where that came from. I was just completing this chapter, writing a nice little conclusion to it with Reid and Luke talking about what had just happened with Bob, when this came out! I don't know why. They just decided to fight…..I don't censure myself when writing and sometimes my muse brings me somewhere I really didn't expect or planned. Sorry…it just needed to be written. I don't know…maybe it's because they never did truly cleared up the air about Noah in the soap and he's coming back next week and I'm just dealing with my insecurity at that by making Reid insecure and/or unsure? Maybe. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! *goes off to start chapter 8 and try to fix things her muse messed up btw the boys*


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Reid's death is still canon...I'm still bitter, angry and pissed about it and I'm still writing very expressive, negative, sometimes even insulting feedback to a certain tv station. So yeah, don't own it. Wish more than anything in the world right now that I did though. This way the ending of the show would have been fair and intelligent.

**An: **Oh yeah! It seems I'm back! I was able to write a chapter for this fic too and started the next one. Since I have this fic, and Le choix du coeur (as well as You and Me) in another fandom, it might take up to a week for chapter 9 to be posted, but no more than that, I'll make sure of it! Thanks for your patience!

**Chapter 8**

Reid Oliver felt like utter crap. He had just made his boyfriend run away from him as fast as he could, while crying. It just…He wasn't good at this. He wasn't used to this. He loved Luke so much…and Luke had loved Noah so much. Honestly, Reid had thought he was over that. I mean Luke had been around almost every day for the last month; obviously he cared for Reid. But Reid had to admit that things hadn't always been like that. Before the ultimatum, although Reid was entirely committed to making things work with Luke, he hadn't been convinced that the feeling was mutual. He had a lot of doubts. And although Luke said he loved him and what he felt for him was more intense than what he had ever felt for Noah…Luke had once looked at him, and later on at Noah, right in the eyes and had said that he was still in love with Noah. Yet, recently he had said that he had loved Reid for quite some time before the whole ultimatum thing. Something had got to give; something had to be false. This was such a mess! 'Damn it! I just had to make Luke cry on the first day we're officially together as a couple. My ex was right: I'm so not boyfriend material' Reid thought. He needed to do something. He needed to make things right. Most of all, he needed to know that Luke wasn't still crying right now only because Reid acted like an insecure jerk. 'Although, did I really act like such a jerk. Can I really be blamed for having such doubts after everything that happened. Argh…I need advice.' Reid thought. 'Katie. I have to talk to Katie. She'll know what to do with this 'cause I'm clueless. But first I need to find a phone.'

"Dr. Oliver, what in the world do you think you're doing?" 'Oh crap' Reid thought. Behind him was one pissed off Nurse Stewart who had just seen him sneak out of his room in order to find a phone.

"Uh…taking a walk?" Reid answered

"Alone?" Allison asked crossing her arms on her chest. "You've been doing much better, but you're still in a rather precarious state. If you want some air, you need someone with you **and **you need a wheelchair. And don't even think of arguing" Allison added, stopping Reid's protest before it left his mouth. "This is non-negotiable."

Reid sighed "Alright…I wasn't really taking a walk. I was looking for a phone so I could call Katie"

"It's the time of her show right now. She probably won't be home for a couple of hours."

"Darn it!" Reid said frustrated. Allison took him by the arm and helped him back to his room.

"What was so urgent anyway? If you don't mind me asking" Reid was about to tell her that he did mind her asking when he suddenly remembered how she had looked after him before and that she was a good friend of Luke's.

"Luke and I…we got in a fight. Or something like it anyway" Allison frowned. She was very surprised. She thought things were doing well.

"Ok. What happened? What did you guys fight about?" She asked sitting on a chair beside Reid's bed.

"I…I made a comment about Mr. Mayer and one thing led to another."

Allison winced "Yeah, insulting Noah in front of Luke never is a good idea."

"I didn't quite insult him per say. I just…I exploded all right. I told Luke about not having known he loved me before he accidentally told me and when I explained why I thought like that…well let just say I'm honouring the tradition of being Luke's boyfriend: I made him cry."

"Because you doubt his feelings because of Noah?" Reid nodded "Alright, then what exactly about Noah makes you think like that?"

"It's not Noah that makes me think like that, it's how Luke is with Noah. Look I know the guy was the love of Luke's life and all, hell less than a month before the whole ultimatum thing, Luke told me and Mr Mayer that he was still in love with him. And then Noah rejected Luke and Luke came to me to tell me all about it. What am I supposed to think? I want to believe Luke loves me…but I'm not sure if he does. Maybe he just feels guilty. Or he's making more of his feelings than what is actually there. I don't know. But I do know that if I do this, if I start a relationship with Luke and he tells me he still loves Noah romantically, or leaves me for him, it will kill me. Literally kill me."

Allison's face showed a deep sadness. There was so much pain behind the older man's words. And that pain had been put there by one of her best friends. Oh unintentionally of course, but still. She wasn't sure Luke realized how deeply he had wounded Reid with his indecision between him and Noah. And she really hoped that Reid was wrong and that Luke wasn't indecisive anymore. Because if Noah came back in the portrait and Luke went back to going back and forth between both men….well it would be over for Reid. Even if Luke really did love Reid and not Noah, if he doubted a little and showed it to Reid, it'd be over. He would have lost the older man for good this time. There was just so much pain someone could handle before the point of no return. And unlike Luke and Noah's or Lily and Holden's point of no returns, with Reid there really would never ever be a second chance.

"All right. Let's hear it" Reid said

"Hear what?"

"You calling me an ass. Screaming at me for making your friend cry."

"You think I think you were wrong don't you?" Allison asked.

"Aren't I? I just made my boyfriend cry on the first day of our relationship"

"Good. Better make him cry now then in two months when you'll be even more serious about each other and the unresolved issues will be even bigger than now. You did the right thing Reid. Luke needs to know how you feel, how you felt when he was hesitating between you and Noah. Because if he doesn't, if you keep this to yourself, it will fester inside of you indefinitely and eventually it will find a way to come out. And it might come out unconsciously so you won't even know what you're doing. I've watched Luke get pushed away because of personal issues too many times already. I don't want to see that happening again. So I'm not angry that you told Luke how you felt about the whole Noah issue. But you can't leave things like this. You and he need to ash things out."

"Allison, you know Luke pretty well don't you?"

"Yes, or at least I like to think so. I must admit I have not been as present in his life as I would have liked. I was so centered on myself and the whole wedding fiasco with Casey that I neglected my duties as his friend. But yes, I know him pretty well."

"So you know his history with Noah."

Allison hesitated a little and bit her lip. "I do" Reid looked at her curiously. He didn't know why she was reacting that way. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Well, it's just….if you want me to tell you about their couple….it's hard for me.. I try to be objective. You see, the problem with Luke and Noah is that they're both my friends. I don't want to judge them because I think they're both great individuals. And as such I want to think the best of the both of them and I've always cheered their couple on because I love them but…"

"But?"

"But if I have to be truthful and objective about their couple I would say that they weren't good for each other. Or rather, Noah wasn't good for Luke. He never really got what Luke is all about. Many of what he reproached Luke are inherent part of his personality; things that makes him endearing to the people who love him. Yet for Noah…."

"Yes I know what you mean. I've seen that guy push and hurt Luke enough as it is. And then I'm the bad guy for wanting him away from Luke. " Reid said, annoyed. He had played the good, nice doctor to Noah for Luke's sake. He had refrained from commenting…but Lord did he dislike that guy. He just couldn't stand him.

"Well, Noah is a good friend to me. It's very difficult for me to judge. Liking someone as your friend but positively disliking him as your friend's boyfriend… It's hard to explain and to understand. So I just decided never to interfere. I mean Luke was happy for quite some time. It just…when things went bad…I didn't like the reasoning behind it. Unfortunately, I haven't been there for Luke for a while. I wish I had. Obviously, there are things that Luke needs to realise and admit to himself about his relationship with Noah, things that should have been said long ago. Maybe that's why he clings to Noah so badly. Because everything about them was left unresolved."

" So where do we go from here?"

"Well, first, if Luke ran away from here, he must have had a reason. So now, I think you should give him some space. Try to figure things out from your hand; think about what you want or need to say to Luke. Then think about how you can tell him. If you want to start a real relationship with him, then you need to clear the air. You need to tell him how the past hurt and affected you. And Luke needs to do some thinking of his own. Talking to Noah might be a good idea for him. You know to get closure"

Reid laughed bitterly "You think he's ready for that? You think he's ready to let him go for good?" Allison frowned. She wanted to cheer the doctor up and say 'Of course he is!' but doctor Oliver wouldn't thank her for lying. In truth, she wasn't really sure Luke was ready to let go. He needed to. Badly. Things were truly over between the two, Allison was convinced of that. But Luke had always been a little desperate to keep Noah with him in any way he could. She simply did not know if her friend would be capable to do what was needed.

"Truthfully Dr. Oliver, I don't know if he's ready. But I do know something. I know that if he's not ready to let go, it's not because he's still in love with Noah. He's not. I saw how he reacted when I told him you were at the hospital. It was like the entire world was falling apart. He's….I don't know why Luke clings to Noah, but I know it's not love. It hasn't been romantic love for a while now"

"I'm not so sure about that" Reid said sadly.

"Well I am. But if you're not sure about it, there are reasons. Find them. And if you want, I'll call Katie and tell her to come see you tonight. This way, you'll have some support as you go through this. Plus, if there's one person who won't allow you to lie to yourself, it's Katie. She sure knows how to handle you!" Allison teased before getting up and preparing herself to leave.

Reid groaned. Allison had unfortunately witness an argument with Katie where the woman won completely and made him do exactly as she wanted. His reputation was just never going to be the same after this whole ordeal. If people knew he couldn't resist Katie or Luke….well he didn't know how bad it could get and he really didn't want to know either. He was supposed to be a completely heartless jerk damnit!

"Allison" Reid called before the nurse could leave his room. "Can I ask you one last question that's been bothering me?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"If Noah was still a part of Luke's life right now, do you think Luke would have been here at the hospital all those times? Do you think he would have told me all those things about his feelings for me and how he loved me if Noah had still been in the picture?"

Allison frowned. The doctor had raised an interesting question. If Noah had still been talking to Luke, would have Luke confessed his love to Reid? Would he have been able to? Would he have been able to be completely dedicated to Reid as he had been if Noah was still around? Allison didn't know the answer for that. She had an inkling….but it wasn't anything good. And she found herself completely unable to tell the older man what she thought. It would crush him. He wouldn't understand how the answer she would give and Luke being crazy in love with him could co-exist. He would think one would negate the other. Her silence was very telling to Reid and the older man's eyes closed in pain. He shouldn't have expected any better. After everything with Noah, he really should be used to this. But he wasn't and his heart bled every time Luke put Noah first. Allison quickly realised that Reid thought she had answered him. Her eyes turned sad. Here was this strong, stubborn, anti-social man looking like he was being crushed by a truck.

"Dr. Oliver, I can't answer that question. Only Luke would be able to." Reid nodded. Luke really was the only one who could answer. But Reid didn't know if he would be able to ask Luke this question. He wasn't sure he would be able to handle the silence that would follow or worse, a negative answer to his question. "But if you want, I can ask Luke that question for you" Allison said, as if reading his thoughts. "It would be a good thing. This way Luke could have the time to really think the question through before giving you his answer and to think about why his answer would be like that and what it could mean. But just so you know, whatever you're imagining in your head right now, I think you're wrong. Try to stay optimistic. I know it's not your way but I think Luke is worth going out of your comfort zone."

"I'll try. But you understand why this is so hard for me"

"I do. Completely. Don't worry so much about Luke right now. I'll go take care of him. You just relax and occupy yourself with a crossword puzzle before Katie gets here, understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Reid said quietly. Allison smiled at that. It was how Reid reacted to Katie's orders. It made her feel a little better to know that Reid had apparently accepted her. Luke was one of her best friends; she wanted his boyfriend to like her and be comfortable with her. She left the older man to his own private thinking, hoping it wouldn't take him in his darkest thoughts. Hopefully, Katie would be able to distract him. As for Allison, she had a certain to go talk to. Because if Allison knew Luke as well as she thought she did, the younger man would have no clue as to how to figure things out.

/

Luke Snyder was lying on his mother's couch, hugging a pillow to himself and softly crying. He wasn't even sure what he was crying about exactly. He just felt…he felt like he had failed Reid in some way….again. How could Reid even doubt for one second his feelings for him. Never in his life had he loved anyone as much as he loved Reid. He hadn't lied about his feelings. He had been totally honest with him and yet it hadn't been enough. Luke sighed as the doorbell rang. He should get his own place; everyone just kept coming and going from both his mother's place and the farm. He just wanted to be alone right now, but it seemed he wouldn't be able to. Slowly, Luke got up from the couch and dragged himself to the door. When he opened it, he was surprised to see his friend Allison standing before him with a sad expression on her face.

"Oh. Hey Alli. Are you okay? Do you need something?" Allison's expression turned even more sad.

"No, Luke. Actually, I came here to see what I could do for you." Luke frowned not getting what his friend was getting at. Allison sighed. "I talked to Reid at the hospital Luke. He told me what happened."

"He did?" Luke said surprised. Had it been Katie standing before him, he would have understood. Reid was a very closed person, but Katie was one of the very few people who could get him to talk. If Reid had actually opened up to Allison…things must be worst than he thought.

"Yeah. I caught him outside his bedroom trying to find a phone to call Katie. I scolded him of course. He shouldn't be up and about without supervision just yet. An accident happens so quickly after all."

"And he talked to you about what happened…" said Luke, still a little incredulous over the whole thing.

"Yeah, I guess he has accepted me now. Which is good since you and I are friends. Plus, well to be truthful Luke, I think what happened with you really took his defences down. He wasn't….he wasn't at all what he normally is with me. I think he really needed to talk and since Katie was at work, and I know you quite well…"

"I see…so…how is he?" Luke said with wide puppy eyes. He was worried and sad.

"Let's sit down Luke" Allison said. Both of them went to sit on the couch. Luke was curious as to what Reid had told Alli, but he wasn't sure if he had the right to ask about their conversation. It was private; Reid might not want Luke to know what was said.

"Ok so…" Luke started.

"Luke" Allison began seriously "According to you, what happened at the hospital earlier today? What started it?"

Luke looked at her in confusion "Well, we were talking and Reid made a comment about Noah and I told him he should get used to the idea of Noah and me being friends because I want him to be and then…"

"And then?"

"Well, Reid kind of exploded. He…he doubts me. He doubts my feelings for him Allison. It's awful. I can't believe I failed him this way. I thought I had shown him enough that I loved him but I guess I haven't. I'll have to show it more."

"And you think that'll work?" his friend asked. He wasn't sure, but he had the impression there was a hint of incredulousness in her tone.

"Well…yeah" He said hesitating.

"Oh Luke" Alli sighed sadly. "You can show devotion and love to that man until it kills you and it won't solve this issue. Not on the long term basis. It may be able to push the issues away into Reid's head, but they'll come back eventually. Did you really listen to what Reid was saying?"

"Of course I did!" Luke said getting angry. " I listened to what he said Alli"

"Then why haven't I heard Noah's name in your solution?"

"What?" Luke was confused. What did Noah had to do with this. "Alli, I know Reid doesn't really like Noah. But he's important to me. And Reid can't expect me to push him out of my life for good."

"He wasn't asking you to, Luke. He was trying to discuss with you what had been happening before the ultimatum. He was trying to explain why when the ultimatum happened, he wasn't even sure that **he** was your real, true choice, not you de-facto choice"

"How could he think that?"

"Luke…when Reid was talking to you, it hurt you didn't it?"

"Of course it did Alli"

"And you thought things like 'how could he think that?' right?"

"Yeesss" Luke said slowly, trying to figure out where his friend was going.

"Well, when someone start thinking, they kind of tune out the conversation going on outside their heads. I think you lost some of the things Reid said. Or that you don't want to hear them"

"Why do you say that Alli? I love Reid. Of course I want to hear what he has to say. I just…I really don' t like him saying I might still be in love with Noah. I'm not. I love Reid not Noah!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure" Luke exclaimed angrily

"But can you understand why Reid isn't sure that you're sure?" Luke stayed silent. "Luke you have to admit that from an outsider's point of view it looks like you've done a 180 turn in matters of minutes. You told him you were in love with Noah, and you told Noah the same thing, yet less than a month later, after Noah has rejected you and refuses to talk to you, you're in love with Reid and want to start a relationship with him?"

"It wasn't like that. I've loved Reid since before that!"

"Did you tell Reid that at the time? Did you explain to him why you told him you were witll in love with Noah? Did you tell him you were wrong when you told him that, that you were lying?" Luke looked down. He hadn't done any of those things. And Reid hadn't bring anything up until now so Luke was ashamed to admit he had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing.

"Can you really blame the guy for having more than just a little insecurity issue where Noah and you are concerned?" Allison asked her friend. It was obvious that Luke hadn't taken the time to really thing the situation through yet. She knew her friend. He had been crying and hurt and trying not to think about the whole thing. But he really, really needed to if he didn't want to lose Reid eventually.

"Look Luke, for me it's obvious that you had to have loved Reid before the whole 'I'm in love with Noah' issue. If there's one thing no one can say about you is that you're fickle when it comes to feelings. It's quite the opposite actually. You tend to cling to old feelings, refusing to let them change or admit they already have." Luke frowned at his friend's observation. It wasn't that he clang to them….was it?

"Yes you do Luke" Allison answered his thoughts. "You cling to the past. You wanted things to work out with Noah so badly that you refused to see that things had changed between the two of you. You didn't see that you had changed, that you wanted something different. You've clang to Noah like a security blanket because you're scared. You're scared of what like without being Noah's boyfriend is. Aren't you?"

"I…I don't know. Noah…Noah was such an important part of my life Alli. How could I forget that?"

"Reid isn't asking you to forget about Noah and what you guys shared. Although I'm sure he'd feel better if he didn't have to hear about it at all, let alone all the time like in the past. But he knows you loved Noah and he knows he can't ask you to forget that. That's not what he wants. He wants to be the one for you; he wants to come first in your eyes. Noah was always your priority. If he asked you to accept that he married a woman to keep her from deportation, you did it. If he had asked you to give up writing or leave town and your family, you would have done it too. You didn't think of yourself. It was always Noah, Noah, Noah! Even after you broke up with him because he couldn't choose all over nothing, even then every thing you did was somehow motivated by Noah. And yes when you helped Reid in Texas a part of you was doing it just for Reid. And yet Noah still played a part in that too. Noah always came first but Luke, what you need to realise, finally, is that you didn't come first with Noah."

"Yes I did!" Luke objected " Of course I did. He loved me. We loved each other Allison! It's normal that the other one was our first thoughts!"

"You mean like you were whom Noah was thinking of when he married Ameera or tattle tale on you and Casey?"

"I….it's not the same thing Al!"

Allison sighed. Her friend was refusing to listen to her. She should have known though. For him, it was like all of this was coming out of nowhere because she thought she was doing the right thing by not speaking up. She thought that Luke loved Noah so much, that leaving their relationship would be worst for him then staying in it. And on short term, she was right….it was on long term that she had been completely wrong in that assumption. She had never voiced her disapproval of certain of Noah's choices. She had never told anyone that she had found them selfish or unfair to Luke and that Luke deserved so much better. Hell, she had never even let herself admit to herself that she wanted to punch Noah in the face and tell him to go to hell every time he pushed Luke away and she had to see yet another part of Luke crumble before her eyes. She wanted her friends to be happy. She hoped things would get better. But as she watched Reid and Luke's interactions in the last couple of weeks, she noticed how different from Noah/Luke they were and how they seemed to be a much healthier couple.

"Look Luke, I'm not saying you and Noah were all bad. There was time where you were Noah's priority. Just think of you paralysis. He was there to support you through it and help you. But all the good things Noah did don't erase all the bad things he has done. But that's what you're doing. You've pushed away all the bad stuff and kept the good and put Noah on a pedestal so high that Reid feels like he'll never be able to be good enough for you when in reality he's much better for you than Noah was."

"You don't that" Luke interrupted her "I mean I love Reid but our relationship has just begun. I don't know how it will go down Alli!"

"Oh yeah?" Allison said sadly. "Well I do Luke. Right now, do you know how your relationship is gonna go?" Luke stayed silent, waiting for his friend to continue. "It's simple. It'll go just like you and Noah did; except this time you'll be Noah and Reid will be Luke. Reid will give you his all without you ever doing the same thing back. And he will hurt. He'll be hurt so much by you and feel underappreciated. He'll feel like he's not good enough. He'll lose any confidence he had in himself and if he waits too long, he won't be able to leave you. So he'll just bury the pain and pray for the good times to come back. And one day, I'll look at him and I'll see the misery buried beneath his eyes and I'll know….I'll know that he's not in love with you anymore. That you've killed the love he had for you. But he won't leave you. Just like **you** didn't leave Noah. Just liek you still can't let go of Noah!" Allison's eyes weld up with tears as her voice grew louder. She loved Noah and Luke. They were her friends. But there was no denying that she had seen Luke suffer a lot because of Noah. Sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes people aren't good for each other.

"You think Noah was still the love of your life before his blindness? You think you still loved him then? Well you're wrong Luke. You clang to something that wasn't there. And it wasn't there because Noah disrespected you and your feelings one too many times. But you stayed and Reid will stay. Except this time Luke, I won't shut up. I'll say what I really think. I'll confront you with it, like I should have confronted Noah all those times he made you suffer so he could do what **he** wanted and you can be sure that I'll make Katie confront Reid like I should have done with you ages ago. I saw you being destroyed little by little by a relationship that wasn't working, that wasn't giving you what you really needed. You've already suffered enough; I won't let Reid suffer too. I just won't." Allison choked. "I love you, Luke. And I love Noah. You guys are my friends, but open your eyes Luke. For God's sake open you eyes! What you had with Noah wasn't good or healthy. It hadn't been for a while. Stop idealising your relationship with him!"

"I'm not!" Luke screamed, tears falling from his eyes.

"No? Then tell me this Luke. Do you think if Reid's hands, what allows him to do his job, were completely crushed and never able to recover because of an accident you partly caused, do you think that when you try to help him, that he'd push you away? Tell you you're crowding him? Do you think he would resent you for being yourself and caring? Do you?" Luke looked down and frowned. He thought about it. He could imagine Reid being stubborn and not wanting Luke to help him make a sandwich. He could see him get angry because his pride would be hurt by all of this. He could see him grumble and pout over it and yet when Luke would spoon-feed him, he wouldn't push him away or scream at Luke for it. He wouldn't blame Luke for the accident either. Like Reid said, accidents happen.

"No" Luke said finally. "He wouldn't do any of those things. He wouldn't reject me or make me feel guilty. Hell knowing him he'd probably call me stupid for feeling guilty in the first place" Luke added with a tiny smile.

" And if you did something that went against his moral code but could get you in a huge trouble for it, do you think he'd denounce you? I understand why Noah did it, partially anyway. But if I had been him? I'd have given you hell for it on a personal basis and showed you how disappointed in you I was, and I would make sure you never do anything like that again, but I would have kept my mouth shut."

"Reid would too, I think. Unless it's something like murder."

"Luke if your mom killed someone do you see your dad saying anything against her in court?"

"No of course not!"

"Why? They're divorced right? You're mom made him suffer before, so why wouldn't he?"

"Because he loved her once and she's the mother of his children. He'd never send her to prison even though it's against his principles to let a murderer go free. Plus, he'd think mom had a really, really good reason for the killing, you know, that she was justified."

"And yet, when you cheated on a student election, and I repeat a **student** election, not a matter of life/death or something that gives you a criminal record, your own boyfriend denounced you. Do you see where I'm getting at? Do you see how that is not putting you first like you've always done for Noah?" Luke eyes closed. Yeah he was seeing where Allison was going with this.

"So Noah has made mistakes before…so what?"

"So you need to remember that doofus!" Allison said. "Because the way you've talked about Noah to Reid, it's like he's never done anything wrong, like he was perfect. How can Reid compete with that!"

"Allison…it's not…I mean…I just.. I loved Noah. And I don't want him to disappear from my life altogether. And I'm sorry if the way that wish came out made Reid doubt my feelings for him but…"

"But do you think that wish is a good think. Don't you think some time apart would do you good? Can you really say that the last interactions you had with him made you happy?" Luke looking down was all the answer Allison needed. "You know Luke, right now talking to you, I wonder if you're over Noah. If you're over your relationship with him. Because if you're not, Reid needs to know that"

"I am over Noah Allison!"

"I don't think you are. I mean, Luke in the last years, you're world revolved around Noah. And I don't think you've moved on for that. I don't know if you've shifted gears, but you need to. Because depending on Noah like that is really bad. Plus well….Luke, Reid asked me a question. A question that he agreed I should ask you back" Luke looked at her expectantly, "He asked me: If Noah was still a part of Luke's life right now, do you think Luke would have been here at the hospital all those times? Do you think he would have told me all those things about his feelings for me and how he loved me if Noah had still been in the picture?" Luke's eyes widened. Reid had asked her that? But why?. "And I'm personally adding, would you have been ABLE to tell Reid your feelings and why are the answers to these questions what they are. Think about it. There's something here that has been left unresolved Luke. You need to figure out what and how to fix it. And if it happens that it's Noah you want to be with, then you need to tell Reid, because he's as serious as they come about you." Allison felt her heart ache. It was obvious by Luke's face that he was confused right now, that he didn't know what to do or what was true and what wasn't. Things before had been clean cut. Both Reid and Luke had decided to forget the whole Noah ordeal and therefore everything was fine. But now the issue had come back and Luke needed to figure things out. This was a good thing. She was sad that her friend seemed so miserable right now, but it was much better that this happened now rather than it happening when Noah decides he wants back in Luke's life. Now **that** would have been messy. She just hoped that Luke would find a way to make Reid believe he was the only one for him. After all, Reid Oliver was a very stubborn person; when he thought he was right about something good luck convincing him otherwise. But she knew that if anyone could it was Luke….and if not Katie could always go kick the doctor's ass!

/

**An2: That's it for now! I really hoped you liked it! Please review. Feedback is not only motivating and makes you happy, it also helps you, guides you, tells you if you're going in the right direction or if you've just gotten lost! So thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: uhm...hope don't feel like it. Seriously, you know it doesn't belong to me. I'd be ecstatic if it did, not bitter and furious about ATWT.**

**AN:** Hello! Here's your weekly update! Hope you like it. And big thanks to everyone who reads my story and review! Your comments are much appreciated!

**Chapter 9**

Reid Oliver was sick of this! Lying in a bed was exhausting. He needed to do something. This was so boring it made a James Joyce text seem like the most entertaining thing in the world. And Reid hated James Joyce. But he hated this even more. Luke's absence was doubly bad. First, the last time he had been in, they had fought and Reid hadn't heard back from Luke in the last 3 days (and no that didn't worry him one bit). Second, Luke was the one entertaining him most of the time which meant that he had been spending the last few days mostly alone with nothing else to do then the super-easy crosswords of the New-York Times. His legs were itching for a walk. Sure nurse Allison had picked him up every day and taken him outside in a wheelchair, then supervised him as he walked around, but still….this was really boring and lonely. Allison and Katie had both told him to be patient with Luke; that if he hadn't shown up yet it meant that he was figuring things out before coming to talk to him. Both women had been trying to convince him that this was a good thing; that Luke was seriously finding solutions and would come back completely ready to commit himself to Reid. Reid wasn't that optimistic. His heart clenched every time he thought of Luke. What if the younger man decided to go speak to Mayer and realised he was better off with him? Or what if Mayer manipulated Luke into thinking they should go back together. He seriously didn't put it past Noah to do so and Luke would easily fall into Mayer's trap. Noah just couldn't do anything bad in Luke's eyes. And apparently he wasn't the only one thinking that. He had heard Katie and Allison talking to each other two days ago. It seemed that Nurse Stewart had raised that exact point in her conversation with Luke. He was really starting to like that girl. She was kind of Luke's Katie in a way, which was good because according to Katie, if she wasn't there for Reid, the other man would be completely lost when it comes to emotional/social interaction and would never get anything resolve in his couple. She had a point. He did tend to be oblivious about certain things and apparently so could Luke. Well weren't they just the pair!

"Good morning sunshine!" Katie's head appeared through the door. Reid groaned.

"No actually Katie, it's not a good morning. What kind of greeting is 'Good morning' anyway? I mean chances are the person you're telling it to is not having a good morning at all. But then if you said 'Bad morning' that wouldn't make any more sense."

"Well someone is being Grumpy Bear today, aren't they Jacob?" Katie asked her son, picking him up from his baby carriage.

" Did you just compare me to a Care Bear?" Reid asked incredulous. "Jacob, tell your mother to stop saying crazy things. I don't want to have to visit her in the loony bin."

" You're telling a baby to talk to me yet I'm the one going to the loony bin?" Katie retorted. "How's that logical?"

"Talking to Jacob like he's an adult is a necessary part of his education. He needs to be exposed to something else than the baby-talk you, your sister and every other female use with him. The poor kid's never going to learn proper vocabulary if you never use the appropriate terms in front of him. Plus, there's a lot more chance that Jacob turns into a genius and starts talking right now then there is of me turning into a freaking Care Bear who preaches the joy of love and friendship while producing a rainbow from my stomach."

"True" Katie admitted, giving Jacob to Reid and sitting down.

" Oh and while we're on the subject of Tv shows, there will be no Care Bears Teletubbies, Barney or Caillou or anything resembling them for this little guy over here. I forbid it. They'll turn his brain into mush and make him a goody-goody two shoes who's going to be eaten alive by other kids at school."

Katie looked flabbergasted, though really she shouldn't. It was such a Reid thing to say and yet…"You're forbidding Tv shows for **my** son?"

"As a matter of fact I am."

"On what ground?"

"On the ground that **you** have started calling me his uncle Reid, which entrusted me with some responsibilities towards the little guy. One of the responsibilities is ensuring this baby has the proper education. Besides, it's not a big deal. He can still watch Sesame Street, Between the Lions, the Reading Rainbow and the Discovery Channel."

"Reid Oliver, are you trying to turn my son into an intellectual?"

"Are you complaining that I'm trying to turn your son into an intellectual?" Reid asked. Katie stopped herself from replying and thought. There could be lots of worst things that Reid could turn Jacob into. At least he's not trying to give his own social skills (or lack of rather)

"No you're right. I don't mind him turning into an intellectual. But do remember he's just a kid and he needs to have fun"

"Oh don't worry, I won't forget that" Reid said somewhat bitterly, remembering his own childhood as a trained seal. No way was he letting Jacob's life be anything like that.

"Good. Now, his diapers are on the table there. There should be enough place for you to change him although I've just changed him so you probably won't have to. His bottle is already made, you'll just have to ask a nurse to heat it up and there's also some baby food in there. You shouldn't have any problems. He's been quiet recently."

"Woah, woah, woah" Reid interrupted her. "What is this woman? You're not dumping your child on me!"

"Well I wouldn't call it dumping, more like uncle-nephew bonding time. I have things to do today and I really can't take Jacob with me. You're better now. You can walk inside this room just fine and you've already proven you can take Jacob in your arms without dropping him. The babysitter can't make it. I really need someone to take care of him. I suppose if it bothers you I could always leave him with Margo at the station or with Tom at the office…"

"Are you nuts?" The neurosurgeon exclaimed "The station's gonna traumatize the poor kid! Or worse it'll turn him into a cop. And don't make me start about the corruption he'll be exposed to in a defence lawyer's office! I'll take care of him. I'm a brilliant neurosurgeon; I can take care of a baby just fine." Reid said. Katie fought hard not to grin. Reid was just so predictable. He always pretended to be annoyed when she left him alone with Jacob but he doted more on this kid then Margo, Tom and Jack did all together. This would be good for him. He had been brooding ever since his fight with Luke and obsessing over it. Jacob would be a good enough distraction. Reid just loved talking to the child about various things. She had once caught him explaining to Jacob how to recognize the symptoms of a concussion and evaluate the severity of it. He called it educating the child, like no one else would actually do it if not for him. Then again when it came to medicine, he was right; no one would think of telling Jacob all about that. Or about teaching a baby the rules of chess. Over and over again of course. Reid of all people knew that the memory part of the brain at this age wasn't developed enough for long term memories. Although it was a good thing to expose your child to an extensive lexicon from early on. Plus, it cheered Reid up, made him feel useful and appreciated, so she wasn't complaining. She called it 'Baby Therapy' and it worked wonders on her roommate. When she left Reid and Jacob alone, she was confident that her friend would have a good day today.

"Hey Katie! Visiting Reid?" Allison Steward asked.

"Yes and no. More like trying to cheer him up. Oh and if he asks, I had very serious not baby-appropriate things to take care of today."

"I thought it was your day off" Allison said in confusion.

"Oh it is!" Katie was grinning from ear to ear. "But Reid was in serious need of 'Baby Therapy' and he would have never accepted to keep Jacob with him if I had told him it was to cheer him up. He doesn't really like doing things to help himself, but he has no problem with helping Jacob to not be corrupted by police officers and lawyers."

"You mean you just left him to baby-sit Jacob so it could cheer him up? And it works?" Allison asked doubtful.

"Oh yes. Reid loves Jacob and he likes educating him in various things. It makes him feel useful and right now…" Katie trailed off.

"Right now, he's on a hospital bed unable to save lives and without his boyfriend, which are both tearing him up. Good thinking Katie. He really did need to stop brooding" Katie nodded at Allison.

"Have you heard anything from Luke yet?" Katie asked.

Allison shook her head. "No. I haven't heard from him since our talk." Alli sighed. "Maybe I was too harsh with him? Or too direct? I mean in Luke's point of view all the things I said were coming out of nowhere because I had never spoken up before. It must be a shock. I just hope he figures things out soon and that when he does, this time they're truly definitive."

"You think they might not be?"

"I don't know Katie…Luke with Noah….he made his entire life around Noah. Everything was for Noah…I've never lived that and I don't want to live that because I don't think it's healthy. Not to the degree that Luke had taken things too. He needs to reflect on his relationship with Noah and truly move on. If he doesn't, when Noah comes back and tells Luke he wants to be with him again, things are gonna go to hell. And Reid is the one who's going to pay the price. Can you imagine how much it'd hurt Reid to see even just a tiny bit of hesitation in Luke's eyes when Noah tries to hook up with him again?"

"It'd kill a part of him" Katie said seriously. "But do you really think Noah is even an issue now? I mean he hasn't talked to Luke in months. From what I understood, his last conversation with Luke was pretty final. He doesn't want anything to do with Luke anymore."

Allison lookes at Katie with a doubtful expression. "I'll believe it when I see it. And I seriously doubt I'll see it. You don't know the Luke-and-Noah couple as well as I do. Trust me. Noah is gonna come back all 'you really hurt me Luke, but I'm ready to forgive you for that and to accept to take you back"

Katie's eyes widened. "My lord Alli, you make it sound like Noah would be doing Luke a favour by taking him back!"

"That's because that's what Noah will make it sound like!" Allison said angrily. "He always makes it sound like Luke is the one who has done something wrong, like Luke is the reason for the break up and like he, Noah, is such a wonderful person to accept to come back with Luke. Like there's something wrong with Luke!" Alli was angry. Actually she was furious. Mostly with herself. You see, her discussion with Luke didn't only made (hopefully made, anyway) Luke open his eyes more to his relationship with Noah. It had also made Allison open her eyes and re-analyse everything she knew about Luke and Noah. And maybe she was biased. She liked Reid a lot (weirdly enough) and her heart ached at the pain he had been through for those two months. She had became protective of him in her own way and she didn't want to see him hurt. So of course she was cheering for Luke and Reid to hook up together and be happy with each other. So perhaps that wish influenced her view of Noah….but still….Although Noah had been wonderful with Luke on occasion, as a whole, Allison had to admit to herself that he didn't act correctly with him. She was sure Noah didn't mean anything by it, but it was true that he always blamed Luke for their problems and never, to her knowledge, apologized for his faults.

Katie looked thoughtful. She thought back to her many nightly conversations with Luke.

"You know….I think you've got a good point. I don't really know Noah but…I know he blamed Luke for his blindness and that he pushed him away. But then when his eyesight came back, he immediately wanted to come back together with Luke"

"Like there hadn't been other problems than his blindness!" Allison completed. "Like he wasn't the one who had pushed Luke away. Like he hadn't done anything wrong!"

"That's true" Katie said "When Luke told me about their conversation on the roof, I think Noah said something about how pushing Luke away didn't mean he didn't love him anymore, but I can't recall him apologizing for it."

Allison sighed. "Yeah…you know I think I've been pretty blind to Noah's failings. And Luke too. He has problems admitting he has faults and with Luke being who he is…"

"He blames himself for everything." Katie completed. Alli nodded. "Well, he won't have that problem with Reid. If he's too stubborn to apologize, I'll kick his butt so hard he'll feel it up to his brain!" Allison laughed. She knew Luke and Reid would have disagreements and fights and she could almost feel sorry for Reid for having to deal with Katie on those instances. She was much more aggressive than Allison was about these things. Katie looked back at Reid's room with a sad smile "Do you think Luke will soon figure things out?" "I hope so" Alli sighed. "I guess only time will tell"

"uhm…well…it's my day off. Maybe time can get a little help" Katie smiled at Allison. "Don't worry, I won't push Luke. I agreed with you when you said he needed alone time, but checking up on him can't do harm. If anything, it'll allow me to tell Reid how Luke is doing."

"Well good luck" Allison said. 'You might really need it' she thought internally. Hopefully, the older woman's influence would help things along.

/

Luke Snyder was a mess. If his fight with Reid had left him in a bad state, then there was no way of describing how his talk with Allison had left him. 'Horrible' didn't cover it. Luke had been completely at loss ever since Alli left. He just felt more miserable than ever. His heart constricted painfully in his chest. His eyes burned from all the crying he had been doing. He'd cried so much and so hard, he couldn't even remember what had made him start crying in the first place. Everything Allison had said haunted Luke. His head had been hurting for days now. There were so many points that she had brought up…points that he had never really wondered about. Allison was right; he hadn't gotten what his fight with Reid had really been about. For the last few days, Luke's head had been invaded by Allison's words. Some words in particular constantly plagued Luke's mind. Try as he might, he couldn't stop hearing Allison's words from replaying over and over in his head:

"_It's simple. It'll go just like you and Noah did; except this time you'll be Noah and Reid will be Luke. Reid will give you his all without you ever doing the same thing back. And he will hurt. He'll be hurt so much by you and feel underappreciated. He'll feel like he's not good enough. He'll lose any confidence he had in himself and if he waits too long, he won't be able to leave you. So he'll just bury the pain and pray for the good times to come back. And one day, I'll look at him and I'll see the misery buried beneath his eyes and I'll know….I'll know that he's not in love with you anymore. That you've killed the love he had for you. But he won't leave you. Just like __**you**__ didn't leave Noah. Just like you still can't let go of Noah!"_

Those words made Luke physically sick. The thought of destroying Reid's love for him…And the words weren't even the worst. No, the worst was the utter conviction he had heard in his friend's tone. She had no doubt whatsoever that things would happen this way if nothing changed. She had no doubts whatsoever that this was what had happen with Luke and Noah. It took Luke quite a bit of time to actually listen to the replaying of these words. Even after all Allison had said, he couldn't admit to himself that she might be right about how Noah had treated him. He spent the first two days after her visit trying to distract himself as much as possible and denying her words. On the second night though….he cracked. He had opened the TV as a distraction; on the news, there was a Doctor who was being sued for malpractice. Luke soon found himself invaded by flashback of his time in Texas with Reid. Reid had been so human, so vulnerable…like when he talked about his chess competitions. And Luke heard Alli's words again: "_He'll be hurt so much by you and feel underappreciated. He'll feel like he's not good enough."_ Luke had closed the television and had sighed. It was time for him to get his head out of the sand and listen to what his best friend had told him. So he sat there on the couch and replayed his conversation with Alli. Tears started falling out of his eyes. He couldn't….He needed to deal with this. If he loved Reid, then he needed to deal with this once and for all. And Luke **loved** Reid. More than anyone else. And Reid loved Luke. It was time for Luke to grow up, to move on from the past and start deserving Reid's love by giving his all back. So for the first time in many, many months, Luke started writing. He wrote down every important step in his relationship with Noah. Their first kiss, his paralysis, Noah's marriage, the college election, Brian, Noah's teacher….everything. He numbered those events then started writing about them. He wrote about how he felt at those times, about how Noah's actions had made him feel. He wrote and wrote and wrote. He spent the night at it, thinking things over, destroying the denial walls he had raised over time.

Luke knew the things he wrote. He had thought them before but had always pushed them aside. Allison had been right. After his relationship with Noah had been over, he had clung to it and created an idealistic picture of it that didn't reflect the reality. He created this idealistic picture to hide that, even though he was now in love with Reid, he was still deeply hurting from Noah's rejection. He had spent months concentrating on getting Noah better and falling more and more for Noah's doctor. He didn't have the time to mourn his relationship with Noah or to fully live the pain the other boy had caused. He needed to give his all so that Noah would get better. But afterwards, when Noah regained his sight, things just floated right back in and still Luke did not have enough time to process them. Everything spiralled down; Noah seeing Luke and Reid kiss, Reid choosing his job… He had been preoccupied with other things. So really, Luke had never taken the time to heal his broken heart. He'd never given himself the chance to truly move on. For Reid, it looked as if Luke still loved Noah, still wanted to be with Noah. But Luke did not want that. He had to admit that at a time, even though he was falling hard for Reid, Luke would have given pretty much anything to get back together with Noah. And now, looking back, reading what he had written the day before…Luke realised that it would have been a colossal mistake.

Luke's primary example of a couple was his parents. Two people who keep breaking up and getting together. So he supposed it's not illogical that when Luke's relationship with Noah took the same direction as his parents', he hadn't really seen anything wrong with it. But Luke did not want to be with his parents. Tom and Margo, Bob and Kim…they were people who had stuck together for years without breaking up. It was possible to have a relationship where one or the other didn't feel like they needed a break. Because really….you shouldn't want a break from your boyfriend. You should have talked things over before things got to this point. But that wasn't what happened with Noah. There wasn't really that much time to talked things over. When things started to go bad, they went bad rapidly. And they normally went bad because of one thing in particular; not because of many things like most people breaking up. It's not that Luke and Noah's relationship had many problems that were always unresolved; it's more that shit happened,(because you know, it's life….in Oakdale) and their couple was never able to resist that.. Or rather Noah wasn't able to get through that. He pushed Luke away every time. And the last time had been one too many. Because this time he pushed Luke away for something that defined Luke. Luke gave his all to the people he loved and he wanted to help them. Noah didn't accept his help. He called it smothering. Luke called it loving. They weren't meant to be together. And deep down, Luke had known that for a while. But Noah had been his very first boyfriend; he had been a miracle come true. Luke didn't like to think that their relationship had done him more bad than good. No one would. But he needed to face the truth:"_He'll be hurt so much by you and feel underappreciated. He'll feel like he's not good enough."_ That had been how Noah had made him feel. It still was how Noah made him feel. Even now, he felt like he hadn't been good enough for Noah. Even now he felt guilty for kissing Reid, for loving Reid these last few months. And even after regaining his sight, Noah still didn't admit that he had acted wrongly or truly apologized for it.

The problem with these realisations, other than hurting like hell, was that it didn't help Luke at all in figuring out what to do about Reid. He still didn't know what to tell the older man. How can you tell the man you love more than anything, that no, if your ex had been in the picture you wouldn't have said and done all those things, but that it wasn't because you still loved your ex or was still interested in him? How could he explain to Reid without him being deeply hurt by what Luke was saying? How could he explain that it had nothing to do with Reid or Luke's feelings, but rather about how Noah's Luke is? About how Luke could still act like Noah's Luke, even though he's now with Reid? Suddenly a knock startled Luke out of his thoughts. Luke sighed. He didn't really feel up to a visit. Especially not Allison. He loved his friend but he didn't want to talk about how she had been right. It would be painful enough talking to Reid; he didn't want to put himself through this many times. However, it turned out, it wasn't his best friend at the door; it was Reid's. Luke gulped. Reid had probably told Katie all about what had happened between them. Luke was her friend, but Reid was her favourite.

"Hello Luke. Can we talk?"

"Uhm…sure Katie" He said, inviting her in. Katie settled down on the couch.

"Don't look so nervous. I'm not here to scold you and have a heart-wrenching wake-up call discussion with you. That was Alli's job. I'm just here to see how my friend is doing." Luke sighed deeply.

"Not well" he said sadly.

"I can imagine" she said, smiling sadly. "We're worried about you, you know"

"Who's we?" Luke said trying to keep his hopefulness from his tone.

"Me, Allison…Reid" she added. Instantly, Luke's eyes got brighter and she saw a glimpse of hope appearing in his eyes. "Although he won't admit it of course. You know how he is."

"Yeah" Luke said smiling sadly.

"He's been worried about you. You haven't been in for days and Reid has never been the most optimistic guy. He's…well he's still insecure about you."

"He's not the only one"

Katie had to admit she was surprised at that. "Really? I thought it was clear that Reid loved you and wanted to be with you"

"It is" Luke replied firmly, "The problem is will he want to be in a relationship with me once I go and talk to him"

"Why do you say that?" Katie said. She couldn't keep the worry out of her voice. "Luke…are you telling me you still love Noah?" Luke shook his head "Then what exactly are you telling me?"

"That the answer to the question Reid asked Alli to ask me is no" Katie's eyebrows furrowed. What was that question again? Suddenly she remembered. Oh…OH. This was not good. Not good at all.

"But it's not because of any leftover feelings that I could have for Noah. I swear Katie it's not like that. It's just…I don't…Katie you have to help me. Reid won't react well to what I've just told you. I'm afraid he won't give me the time to explain. I'm afraid as soon as I answer him, he'll shut down. He'll put his defences up and Katie, no one can get through those defences. Not even me. If he shuts them down…I'll have lost him. And it will **kill** me" Luke choked. Tears were falling from his eyes onto his cheeks.

"Oh Luke" Katie said. She could feel her heart breaking for him. He looked so completely lost. "Reid loves you. He'll listen to you. He won't shut you down." Luke gave her a doubtful look "well not if you warn him beforehand that he won't like the answer but that he really, really needs to listen until you've finished because it won't be what he expects. But if you're really worried, you can tell him that if he dares shut you out, I will tie him up on his bed and force him to watch 6 hours of Teletubbies. That should do it" Luke couldn't help but laugh at that. Imagining Reid's face at watching that particular kid show was simply hilarious. "See? It won't be so bad. Well, no it'll be bad. It'll probably take a lot out of you to have that conversation with him, but you need to. You need to deal with the whole Noah issue before starting anything serious with him; otherwise, it will haunt you both." Luke nodded.

"I know Katie. I've thought about it a lot in the last 24 hours. I…I think I know why I kept going back and forth between Noah and Reid and…I want it to be over. I want Noah's shadow to stop lingering onto my relationship with Reid too. The only problem is that, I'm not sure all of it can come immediately. I think there are some things I'm not over, bad things, and I don't know how Reid will react to that. Will he accept that I still have issues because of things that happened between Noah and me?"

"Those issues…they're due to things Noah did?" Luke nodded "And you think those issues will influence you and how you act with Reid" Again, Katie received a nod for an answer. "Alright. Then just tell him that. Tell him exactly what kind of reactions you may have and why and tell him it's not personal to him. Or even to Noah. It's personal to you and just like any other issue related to the past, you'll need time to get over it, but that it will never affect how much you love Reid."

Luke nodded. That made sense. And it was so simple too. But for the life of him, Luke hadn't been able to figure this out by himself. He was too much of a mess still. Or maybe he was just too frightened at the idea of seeing Reid again and maybe risking loosing him for good.

"Katie, do you think I should go see Reid today?" Luke asked, looking at the older woman with a hurt puppy look.

"Well, do you feel strong enough right now to have a conversation with him?"

"I…I think so, yes. And…I really want this to be over. I hate being separated from Reid. I want to see him real bad."

"Then go to him! Now!"

"Right now? But…I probably look a mess. My eyes are probably red"

"So? There's nothing wrong in Reid seeing how this affected you"

"Noah wouldn't have liked it. Not when he was angry. He thought crying was a way to make him stop being angry, you know, manipulate him or something."

"Luke…I don't think I have to tell you that Reid is not Noah."

Luke shook his head "No. I know that. Very well actually. But Katie, I still tend to react like I did with Noah. When things went bad….they went bad. I'm not used to reacting differently."

"Well that's normal. We all come in a new relationship with baggage Luke. Even our very first one. We have experiences in our lives that affect our reactions and we discover that we need to adjust our reactions in different circumstances. Reid and you are new circumstances, but you'll adjust."

Luke hugged his friend. Her confidence in him helped him a lot. It gave him the courage to enter her car, so she can drive him to the hospital

/

Reid looked at Jacob's sleeping form. He envied the little guy, he truly did. Life as a baby was so easy. He wished Jacob would never grow up so he'll always stay this blissfully happy. But he knew it was impossible. Didn't mean his mother and he wouldn't do everything in their powers to make his life as good as possible. Talking about his mother….he wondered when Katie would go back. He didn't normally mind looking after the kid but that was because he normally had other things to entertain himself with when the baby was sleeping. Suddenly, the door opened and his friend entered.

"Hey Reid! How's it going?" Reid grunted "Oh that good huh?" Then Katie lost her smile and became serious "Reid, did you think things over the last few days? About Lke I mean"

Reid snorted "What else was there to think about?"

"So you know what you want to ask him. What issues you may still have that need to be addressed?"

"Yeah…I know why I feel the way I feel."

"And are you feeling receptive and open-minded today?"

Reid frowned. "Katie, are you trying to tell me something?" he asked though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"Yes, but answer the question first. Because if you're feeling on the defensive or you think you might go on the defensive if you hear something you don't like, then no I won't be actually implying what you think I'm implying because I'll make sure the thing I'm implying doesn't come in this room." Reid's heart skipped a beat. He had been right. Luke was here. Luke was **here**. Reid swallowed difficultly. It was one thing to think himself ready for that particular conversation, it was another entirely to actually be faced with the reality of said conversation happening now. Reid swallowed down any nervousness he might feel and looked at his friend.

"Yes. I'm capable of listening to what Luke has to say without shutting him out"

"You're sure?" Katie double-checked "Because it will not only hurt Luke if you shut down; he'll think he lost you for good."

"No. I'm sure. It's fine Katie. I'll listen to everything he has to say. No matter what it is" He added softly. His voice had gotten sad.

"It's not what you think Reid. This is not negative. This is good. This is Luke growing up and dealing with things he needed to deal with but which he had bottled up. You'll see. Everything will be just fine. Just give it some time and remember to be patient. After all, Luke is patient with your moods, and lord knows they're not always easy to deal with. So give him this, ok" Reid nodded.

Now sure that her friend was ready for this difficult conversation, Katie picked up her child and left the room.

Reid closed his eyes and mentally prepared himself for what was to come. When he opened them again, his beautiful boyfriend was standing before him, hands in his pockets, fidgeting from one foot to the other. His eyes were red and he looked like a puppy that someone had kicked. He looked much younger than usual, like a child afraid of being scolded and punished.

"Hi Reid" Luke said softly. The young man could feel his throat closing down on itself and his hands shaking. "Hey" Reid responded as softly. Luke could feel tears filling his eyes. Reid sighed at the sight. "Hey, hey. Come here" Reid said opening his arms. Immediately, Luke rushed into the older man's arms and hugged him tightly. Sobs racked through his body and Reid's heart ached at seeing Luke like this. Luke and he needed to have a talk. But right now, what Luke really needed was to be close to Reid and to let all those bottled up emotions go. It would made this conversation easier if Luke cried now. And besides, Reid had missed the feel of Luke in his arm. He wasn't in a hurry to lose it again.

**/**

**AN :** First, I'd like to mention that I meant no bashing about the TV shows mentioned by Reid. I actually was a HUGE fan of the Care Bears and still have my Cheer Bear Plushie. Although I admit to disliking the Teletubbies a lot. A LOT.

Second, I'm sorry to all Noah fans. From what my muse has given me, I think the Noah in this fic will be much different than the one in Le choix du Coeur. So yeah, don't expect good stuff from Noah in this fic right now. And remember that I haven't watched Noah/Luke story over the years, so of course there might be some things I say that don't quite add up in your opinion.

Third: HOPE YOU LIKED IT! Next chapter will be the discussion between Luke and Reid and….well I'll figure out what comes after the and. Again, expect an update in about 7 days. I really wanted to update a lot more but well…school…you know how that is….especially English lit class…I'm a francophone. Somehow I think I haven't understood what Engl lit teachers want in their essays that I don't give them, 'cause I didn't have that problem with French Literature essays! Anyway, **please review, it's always nice to read your thoughts!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, I wouldn't have started crying while watching an amazing Lure video, because Reid wouldn't be dead and there would be absolutely nothing sad about Lure. So I really, really, really wished I owned it!

**AN: **Weekly update is here! Ok it took 8 days not 7 and Le choix du Coeur won't be updated for…I don't know how long, I'm working on it. Sorry for the delay, school is one thing and celebrating Thanksgiving like 3 times is another. Didn't have time to write. But at least there's this! Oh and** HAPPY THANKSGIVING **everyone! I'm really happy I at least finished this chapter so I can post on Thanksgivingsbecause after all,** I owe thanks to all my readers and reviewers! **Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 10**

Luke took a deep breath and sighed loudly. It was so good to feel Reid's arms around him again. It felt so safe. It was not something he was used to with Noah. Had he had a fight with Noah, he wouldn't have been able to relax in Noah's arms until they had cleared things up. He would have…well…he would have been on the defensive, fearing Noah's reaction. But with Reid, he didn't feel those defensive instincts acting up. He just felt completely safe and had a sense of belonging he had always craved but never really found. Luke hugged Reid harder. He had missed the older man so much.

"Feeling better now?" Reid asked softly. He didn't quite know what to make of this, but somehow, having Luke in his arms had made some of his fears disappear. Perhaps Katie was right; maybe things would be alright. Or at least, he hoped so. Spending over three days away from Luke….it sucked. And good Lord, who the hell was he? It was so out of character for Reid to miss someone so much and yet he didn't really mind it where Luke was concerned.

"A little yes" Luke said softly. He released his hold on the older man and looked at him in the eyes. "We need to talk Reid" Reid nodded. "The thing is though" Luke said looking away, "I…I don't really know where to start….I don't really know how to say things right now." Reid thought about that for a few moments.

"Well…perhaps we should start with the things I brought up last time. For example, maybe you'd like to tell me why you told me and Noah you still loved Noah?"

Luke looked up at Reid and gulped. His heart twisted on itself; his gut was churning. He needed to put some distance between Reid and him. He needed to think clearly and being this close to Reid would just make everything even more emotional and Luke wasn't sure if he could handle that or not. He needed to distance himself. Plus…well apparently being this close to Reid turned Luke's brain into a jelly. All he wanted to do was snuggle in those arms and stay there forever, which was really not productive to any resolving of any issues. So Luke got off the bed and brought a chair beside Reid's bed. Reid's heart stopped for a second. Why was Luke putting distance between them? Suddenly, Reid feared Luke's answer.

Luke, sensing Reid tense, took his hand. "The answer to that question has two parts. One of which is more personal to that particular situation and one of which is just general about Noah and I. About our couple." Luke took a deep breath. "What you need to understand Reid is that Noah and I….we weren't like you and I are. Our relationship was quite different."

"Obviously" Reid snorted.

"See, right there." Luke pointed out. "If I had had this fight with Noah, he wouldn't have found that funny. He wouldn't have hugged me as I was crying when I came in. He wouldn't have actually wanted to talk to me if I was crying. Noah thought….Noah thought that I cried to try to make him sorry for me, to make him forgive me my faults." Luke paused. His hands started shaking. His head and emotions were one huge mess. Everything was out there right now and it was almost too much for Luke to take. But he needed to do this. He needed to get those things out there and he knew that right now, as he was, he would never be able to say those things to Noah. He wouldn't be strong enough to talk about the problems he had with Noah to Noah; he'd be too scared. But with Reid, Luke felt completely safe. With Reid, Luke felt like he was strong, like he was worth a lot. It's one of the many, many things that made him love the older man as much as he did.

As for Reid, he had suddenly the impression that this conversation would only make his opinion of Noah turn for the worst. Already he could feel his muscles contracting with anger at the idea of Luke being not only left alone to deal with his tears of sadness but also accused of trying to manipulate the other person. Reid knew perfectly well that Luke was able to manipulate people or circumstances to get what he wanted; however, he also knew that Luke would never use that ability against people he loved. Actually, Reid was pretty sure Luke used these abilities only to help the people he loved, which just put another negative point on the list of negative points Noah had accumulated in Reid's mind.

"This conversation that you and I are going to have….there are some things in it, that should be said to Noah. Things I will need to talk to him about. To have some sort of closure. Because, well, there are things I should have gotten off my chest while Noah and I were dating that I never did and I think I might need to talk to him about these things. But Reid…right now…I'm not strong enough for that. Before we really get into it, I need you to understand, that what I will say, that the way I act has nothing to do with my feelings for Noah. All these actions that made you insecure….Reid, they weren't out of love. Not really. Because I have been in love with you for quite a while Dr. Oliver." Luke said, his eyes looking at Reid with so much love and adoration that Reid felt his heart fill with warmth.

"Then what is it Luke? If it's not your feelings for Noah, then what is it?" Reid asked, patiently. He wanted to get answers now, to get moving but he knew he shouldn't rush Luke. He knew he had to be patient and keep his defences down because not only would it stop anything from getting done, but it would also make Katie go all Ancient Greek Fury on his ass and he really, really didn't want that to happen. That woman was truly a force to be reckoned with when angry.

Luke closed his eyes and squeezed Reid's hands. His thoughts were all jumbled up and he needed to put them together and try to make sentences that actually made sense!

"Alright." Luke said, determinedly. He could do this. "First of all, the reason I said I was still in love with Noah that day, is because I freaked out. Like majorly so. I was terrified Reid"

"Of what? Of me?" Reid asked, shocked and a little insulted.

"Reid please if we're gonna do this, I need you not to interrupt. Or at least don't interrupt me with some kind of accusatory tone when I haven't had the chance to explain yet!" Luke said, getting angry. But it faded almost immediately because he recognized why he was getting angry at Reid and it didn't truly have anything to do with Reid. Reid however did not know that and was berating himself for getting Luke angry or worst hurting his feelings.

"I'm sorry Reid, I shouldn't have talked like that"

"No you were right"

"No I wasn't!" Luke exclaimed. "Reid, I didn't get angry…Look you have to understand that…." Luke put his head in his hands. How was he going to say this? What was he even trying to say? God, this was so confusing. Reid looked at the distraught younger man. His heart ached at the sight. He loved Luke. Perhaps he didn't really need an explanation.

"Luke, if you can't do this then it's okay. We don't have to. You…you love me and I love you and that's enough. We'll just forget about the past and move on okay?" Luke looked at his boyfriend's face with a heartbroken look and shook his head.

"No Reid, it's not okay. I was Luke to Noah's Noah, I refuse to let you be Luke to my Noah." Reid eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What was Luke saying? Luke had a small bitter laugh. "It's something Allison said. She told me that if we didn't ash things out between us, then you will be Luke and I will be Noah. You'll push things aside, bury them deep down, because you want to please me and with time those things you pushed aside, they'll eat you out from the inside out and will kill all the love you had for me. The same way never confronting Noah about things kill all the love I had for him. And yet I couldn't leave him Reid. If I had never met you….right now I'd be in Noah's arms. I would have taken him back after the surgery and I would have smiled and convinced myself I still loved him and that I was happy all the while fearing the next 'shit hits the fan' blow to our couple and yet another one of Noah's rejection of me. Alli…Alli thinks that as long as we don't ash this out, I won't be able to give you my all and I want to give you my all Reid. So badly you can't even imagine. But right now, I…it's difficult. The thing is…Katie said that everyone enters a relationship with baggage. Baggage from their childhood, from their past relationships etc. What you need to understand is that I come with a lot of baggage. And I mean a lot. You call Oakdale Oakhell…well you have a point. The thing is…all my baggage from Noah, it's really recent. I mean I haven't got much time to move on from it. So it's possible…you'll have to be really patient with me Reid. I know you're not Noah. You're not anything like Noah and I'm glad you're not like him, I am, I would never have loved you as much if you were different from what you are. You're perfect just the way you are. Well not perfect, but perfect for me? yeah you are. But I might still react to certain situations with you like I did with Noah. I need to learn how to act with you. Like just now, I…well Noah as you well no can be quite accusatory so I might react strongly to that kind of tone. It'll get better though. I promise. I just need to change gears, learn to be with you" Luke said with a smile. Reid squeezed Luke's hand.

"Ok. Patient I can do. Or at least I can try. And hey, if ever I'm impatient about those issues of yours, just tell me, and I'll try to make things better and if that's not enough, tell Katie and Allison; they'll gladly rip me a new one for your sake" Reid joked. Luke laughed at that. Those two together would be really scary. And it's not only Reid that had cause to be afraid of them. Reid was Katie's best friend and Allison somehow started to really care about the older doctor too; Luke would have to be careful about how he acts too.

"Alright, so no accusing or jumping to conclusions….I guess I can do that. Then let me make this right. Luke, what you were afraid of that day?" Reid asked softly. Luke gave him a grateful smile. Reid doing a do-over, trying to make things right, which is like admitting he had done something wrong in the first place….Reid had no idea how much it meant to Luke. It meant the world. It meant that his relationship with Reid would truly be different from his previous one.

"I was scared of a lot of things. Mostly though I was afraid of being hurt. Noah…Noah he is all I know. I expect being hurt with him. I've…I've pushed myself to hope things would be different every single time we got back together, but you know what? Deep down, I think I knew things would never change. Kinda like my parents break up/hooking up again never really changed either. I thought what I had with Noah was how a relationship was supposed to be. And then I met this sarcastic, infuriating doctor who made me feel so many different things and who kissed me and made me feel…made me feel like I was really, truly wanted for who I was. You love me without me having to fight and push for you to love me. You love me even though you know how big of a brat I can be. That's new to me. And that was terrifying because I expected a lot more from you than Noah. And I panicked. Because if all the shit with Noah had hurt me as much as it had, then how much would shit with you hurt me when I loved you more than twice as much as I ever loved Noah in the best of days?" Luke asked, his eyes filling with tears.

"Oh Luke…you stupid idiot" Reid said laughing. "Why haven't you ever told me that? You think I wasn't scared of entering a relationship with you? You think I wasn't scared of being hurt? Luke….I don't do relationships. There's a reason for that. Well many reasons for that actually, one of them being the fear of being hurt. But for you….I was ready to move beyond that fear. For you, I was willing to take that risk."

"I wasn't" Luke said simply. Reid swallowed hard. It bothered him that Luke hadn't been willing to take risk with him "I wasn't because I'm damaged Reid. Not broken, but really damaged. I…I have a lot of issues that have followed me from my relationship with Noah. But you know that already. You've seen first hand how I keep clinging to him, how I can't let go."

"Yes I'm well aware of that" Reid said somewhat bitterly.

"I know you are. But it's not because I love him Reid. I don't love him anymore and I've never loved him correctly at all. What happened with Noah…he had so much power over me...I made him my whole world. I don't know when it happened but it did. Suddenly I was nothing else other than Noah's boyfriend and I lived entirely and solely for him. Which could have been fine I supposed… but it wasn't because it wasn't mutual. Noah never…It still hurts me to say it or think it" Luke said in a small, hurt voice. This was the sort of post-relationship revelation that really sucked. "Noah he never gave me as much as I gave him. Not even close. I was always at arms length and although he didn't give me his all, I was expected to give him my all. I mean you saw how he reacted to you and me! I get that he was pissed about me lying to him, but it was more than that. He was…it's like I had done something wrong by being with you, even though Noah and I had been broken up for months. And yet, he still found a way to make it look like I had done something wrong again and like I would need to make it up to it. God I'm so tired of that. I'm so tired of being the one who's always in the wrong."Luke babbled rapidly, under all the different emotions battling inside him.

"So you see, when the time came to choose between you two, I remembered how he hurt me so much at times that…I couldn't take it Reid. Noah…with him I knew I'd get hurt but I was to a point where since I didn't love him, it couldn't break me. You however could have. You wouldn't have, I realise that now. You're an adult. You know exactly what you want and if something isn't working you're not shy about saying it. You would try to talk to me if we fought. You'd look at this logically, you'd admit it if you're wrong although begrudgingly, and you'd be able to apologize. But you need to understand that I'm not coming from a relationship that worked like that. Hell you know that. You pointed it out. You told me yourself that you didn't like how Noah was treating me. And my parents, they aren't much better at this whole relationship thing than Noah and I were."

"And yet you defend him continually" Reid said, his voice hard. He hadn't meant to sound harsh but it was something that had really hurt Reid. Reid normally hated talking about his emotions but both Katie and Allison had once told him that he should tell Luke how what he did affected him.

"Yes" Luke admitted reluctantly.

"That hurt." Reid said simply. If he was going to do this, then he'd do it his way: directly. "When you kept defending Noah or talked about him like he was so amazing, that hurt Luke. Hell that killed me. I love you so much and I knew…I knew you still loved him even though you were kind of with me. It's like I was a consolation prize. And I'm no one's consolation prize."

"No" Luke said strongly. "You're amazing Reid. You could never be anything else than the number one. You couldn't be anything else but my number one Reid. For at least over a month before Texas, it was you. It was always you. But I didn't know how to let go of Noah. I didn't know how to not give up everything for him because that's what I had been doing over and over again for years. Noah wanted to marry Ameera to keep her from deportation and continue seeing me on the side even though it made me feel like crap, like the evil home-wrecker mistress, then fine. That's what I did. But I wasn't happy deep down and my love for him just continued disappearing. But even knowing all those things I…I'm afraid that you might hear me defend him again in the future. I'll try not to because retrospectively some things we've been through were really shitty and it was in big part Noah's fault. I've thought a lot in the last few days, and I've finally admitted many things to myself, but old habits die hard. Especially the kind of bad habits I have from my relationship with Noah."

"Like what? What did he do to you Luke? Why do you feel so damage? It's breaking my heart. I never want to see you like this. You look so miserable and hurt right now. I just want to take you in my arms and say everything will be alright."

"I'd like that" Luke said softly, "but I'm afraid if you take me in your arms right now I won't want to leave them. I'll just want to cuddle silently with you and we need to finish this."

"Yes we need to. Luke you see yourself as damaged but when I look at you, I don't see that at all. I see the most wonderful person I have ever met. Someone with such a kind heart but who's not afraid to speak his mind and go against me when I'm acting like an insensitive jerk." Luke started crying. His body was shaking through the sobs. No one had ever talked about him like that. When Reid spoke about Luke like this, it made Luke feel like he was wonderful and worth the trouble.

"I don't think Noah ever saw me like that." Luke admitted "And he certainly never made me feel like that. You know what you call caring, he'd called smothering. He never liked me going against him like you do. He didn't accept it. He was always right and I was always wrong. I was the one causing all the problems. I was the one who was seeing things and acting like a jealous idiot. I was the one responsible for things going sour and I was never allowed to forget that. And yeah I was a lot of trouble I guess. You don't…" Luke looked down. "There are things in my past that I'm not proud of"

"Like 85% of the adult population Luke. The other 15% are just too big jerks to regret the bad things they've done"

"God I love that about you!" Luke said giving Reid a huge smile "You just…You don't make a huge deal of things. You know I'm human. You don't make me feel awful because I'm not exactly the way you want me to be. Noah… towards the end, I felt like he was the one doing me a favour by dating me, like I wasn't worth anything at all. I'm sure he never meant to make me feel that way, but it's nonetheless true. That's how I saw things. That's how I came to see myself. As Noah's boyfriend. As being the luckiest person in the world for having someone who cares for me because no one else would have ever put up with all my shit."

"My God, Luke." Reid said softly. His tone was sad. His heart ache for the younger man while another part of his brain was imaging all the horrible things he could do to Noah Mayer with a scalpel. "Why the hell didn't you leave him before recently? You don't start feeling like that overnight. He's had to be hurting you for months, maybe years to get you to this point of self-loathing."

Luke shrugged. "I couldn't. I just couldn't. You know my parents; they're not really good for each other I think. Everyone has always told me that they were meant to be and yet when I look at how Dad is with Molly and how Molly is with him…That's a healthy couple Reid. They work things out, they don't accuse each other, they trust each other and just….I don't know. I can't really explain it. When I saw my parents together I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. There always seemed to be this underlying tension even in the good times, like it was inevitable that things would turn sour. I don't feel like that about Dad and Molly. But I felt exactly like that with Noah. I always kept the 'when is the other shoe gonna drop' question in my head and I forced myself not make it drop. I tried so hard to be what Noah wanted and to give him what he needed, and yet it was never good enough. And in return, I wasn't getting what I needed you, I feel like it's more like Dad and Molly. At least if Dad doesn't pull a Luke and walks right back into a relationship with my mom that is doom to not work no matter how much they might want to. Sometimes, love is not enough and sometimes you don't even stay because of love; you just stay by habit"

"That's wrong. To stay just by habit. It's unhealthy" Reid said.

Luke chuckled. "Tell me about it! But it happens and it's hard to break the habit."

Luke paused. There was another question that he needed to answer. He guessed it was now or never. "You asked Allison to ask me a question" Luke started. Reid took in a deep breath. It was a question that he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. "If Noah had been in the picture….you won't like the answer Reid, but no I wouldn't have been able to tell and do all these things. Not because I wouldn't have felt them or wanted to do them" Luke clarified. "I just wouldn't have been capable of doing them because of all the power Noah still had over me. I felt…you know I felt guilty Reid. I felt so much guilt it was eating me up inside destroying me and almost destroying what I have with you. Yet, it was stupid; do you think I had reasons to feel guilty?"

"Of course not!" Reid exclaimed. "You had nothing to feel guilty about. You were broken up Luke; you didn't owe him anything. And the accident with the fireworks was just that: an accident"

"Ah yes, but Noah has always told me the opposite. And he thinks I did have reasons to feel guilty. I told you; everything was always my fault. Everything bad that happened to Noah was somehow my fault. Like now, I can bet you anything that the way he sees it is that we're not together because I kissed you behind his back; not because I broke off with him after he chose nothing over all. And that's how he always thought and I followed his beliefs. It's hard to stop thinking that way. When you think you're not worth anything, when you think it's a miracle someone could ever want to be with you, when you think your only worth is to take care of that one person…" Luke said tears starting to fall gain. Reid was shocked to say the least. He really had never thought Luke could think so little of himself and although he had hated how Noah had treated Luke, he hadn't thought that it would have had such a terrible impact on Luke. Luke, his Luke, always looked so strong and was always out to get exactly what he wanted. Noah's Luke however….well it didn't matter anymore. Luke was Reid's not Noah and Reid would be damned if his Luke thought so low of himself.

"Luke, listen to me. I don't know what kind of guilt trip and emotional abuse Mayer has done to you in the past, but this kind of talk stops now. There is nothing wrong with you. I love you and I don't love easily Snyder. You're special, you're precious, you're amazing though so infuriating and stubborn at times " Luke chuckled."And most important of all, you're mine. Not Mayer's not anybody else's. Mine. And my boyfriend is amazing. I'm amazing I can't be with anyone less amazing than me and I'm not. Forget what Noah said. He was wrong. He was so wrong Luke"

Luke nodded. "Yeah…I've…I've begun to see that since I've met you."

"Good" Reid said firmly. "Now all you need to do is let Noah go"

"I want to. I really do. I want to move on past all of this. To stop feeling like I have to change myself to be love. I…It might take time before I stop trying too hard with you but I…I think that's ok. I think you'll just bear with my issues and help me work through them. But I also think I need to talk to him to really let go and I can't now…please don't ask me to Reid. I…I'm not strong enough…he's not like you. I don't feel safe with him. When I got here, when you took me in your arms, it didn't matter that we had a fight, that you might still be angry with me. I felt safe and relaxed and I wasn't scared that you'd explode and say really mean things to me, pushing all of my insecurities, shoving my faults back in my face. Of course, you don't know many of those things. F*ck Reid, there are a lot of things you don't know about me. You love me but I come with a lot of shit. One in particular that could come back…Noah he knows all that stuff. He knows all the bad things and yet he always took me back so I guess…there was a certain security in that. But otherwise, right now, I don't trust him or me enough to think that I could talk to him without getting really hurt. If he lashes out right now…I need to reaffirm my own worth before going to him. You've helped me a lot with that since I've met you but the last confrontation with Noah has brought back all those self-worth and inadequacy issues and I need to work through them completely again before confronting Noah. Because I fear that a discussion with him will be just that: a confrontation." Reid nodded. He could understand that Luke wasn't ready to see Noah now that he knew it wasn't out of guilt or out of love; it was simply out of self-preservation against Noah.

"When you talked about things I don't know about, did you mean your kidney transplant?" Luke looked at him in shock "I saw you with just a towel on in Texas remember? What kind of surgeon would I be if I couldn't identify a surgery scar? Not to mention you don't drink"

Luke looked down in shame. His hands shook and tears silently fell from his already red eyes. He closed his eyes painfully and swallowed down hard. He…He didn't know if he could tell Reid about his…about **it**. One of the things he could give to Noah is that he stuck around with an alcoholic. Not everyone could do that. Not everyone could support an alcoholic through the difficulties of battling addiction. But then again…had Noah really supported him? Hadn't things with him actually made Luke want to drink that much more? He hadn't really had the urge to drink when he had fought with Reid; yet when Noah kept pushing him away and blaming him for his blindness, Luke felt the urge to just empty a bottle of whisky almost every day. With Noah, the saying that being an alcoholic was an every day battle tended to be much too true for Luke's liking. Maybe with Reid it would be different. For one, Luke's pretty sure Reid would royally kick his ass if he ever saw him drink alcohol when he only has one kidney. Maybe Reid didn't need to know about this part of Luke's past.

"Luke? What is it?"

"Nothing." Luke answered quickly.

"Luke" Reid said with a harder tone. "Don't lie to me. I can see there's something else that bothered you just now. You looked away. You almost looked ashamed of yourself." Luke looked away with shame again. "There you just did it again. What's wrong Luke?"

"Do we really have to talk about this now?"

"Seems like as good time as any. Allison said it was better to clear any issues we had at the beginning of the relationship"

"Well…I really don't want to tell you this but…I guess you need to know in case…in case I fall again" Reid looked confused. "Reid, having one kidney isn't why I'm not drinking alcohol. I mean I know I can't afford to drink with one kidney but…" Luke took a deep breath and silently prayed that what he would say next would not make him lose the man he loved. "but that hasn't stopped me from drinking before. I'm…" Luke looked up and looked Reid in the eyes "I'm an alcoholic Reid. If I drink, chances are I won't be able to stop until I've finished at least a couple of bottles. Chances are that somewhere during our relationship, I'll screw up and fall and start drinking and…I don't want that to happen. But statistically speaking, the chances are high that I will. And alcoholics, they're not easy people to live with. The things you do under the influence of alcohol…well if you want to know how that is, you should talk to my dad's cousin Jack Snyder. Carly, the woman he loves now and used to be married to, she's like me; she's an alcoholic. He could tell you stories, tell you how hard it is on the sober partner." Luke looked down at his hands. "Living with me…It could get really hard. There's no guarantees. I'd…I'd understand if you'd "

"Stop right there Luke Snyder!" Reid interrupted him. His voice was loud and almost sounded angry. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare think for even one second that this will change anything between us. Yes, I might avoid drinking in front of you, but that would be to make you more comfortable Luke. Not because I don't trust you to resist temptation. Because I do. And if you don't, if you start drinking again, then yes I admit as a doctor and worried boyfriend, I'll want to rip you a new one because of the kidney and want force you to attend medical conferences with me where they'll show you exactly what you're kidney will look like if you drink. But I won't do it because I know me getting angry at you would be the last thing you need. I'll sit down with you and ask you when the need to drink reappeared, what prompted it and we'll find ways together to get rid of what triggered your drinking and then we'll work in getting you sober again. You'll attend AA meetings and I'll go attend those meetings for people who live with alcoholics so that I can know how to help and support you. Hell, I'll look it up once I'm back on my feet again and free from this hellroom. This way, I'll be prepared if ever the need to drink becomes strong for you. And I expect you to tell me Luke. You feel like drinking, you call me immediately and if I can't talk to you, call Allison or Katie and tell them why you feel the need to drink, and ask them to stay with you until I arrive okay. We'll work it out Luke. First, it's very important that I get to know your triggers so we can avoid them. That should make things a little easier for you."

"I…I" Luke didn't know what to say. He just didn't. It was too much. He never thought…the way Reid looked at him…there was no disappointment, no anger, no disgust…Reid was looking at him with as much love as ever. He didn't look at Luke like there was something wrong with him. He didn't run away. It was too much; Luke couldn't stop himself. He grabbed Reid and kissed the hell out of him. Reid didn't need any encouragement to kiss back just as hard. They kissed like this for a couple of minutes before breaking off. Luke settled himself on Reid's lap, cuddling with him.

"You are an amazing man " Luke said grinning.

"No, Luke, I'm not. I just love you, that's all. Every part of you. You really thought I would leave you over this?"

"Well, like I said, living with an alcoholic isn't easy"

"Then I'll go talk to this cousin of yours, Jack and go to reunions. I don't back down out of anything because of obstacles Luke. What made you think I'd give up on you. Hell, even Noah didn't give up on you and don't get me started on how badly I think of him as a boyfriend."

"True. But Noah never went to reunions or talked to Jack as far as I know. With him, I felt…like I disappointed him. He made me feel guilty and that would just…"

"Make you want to drink even more" Reid completed.

"Yes"

"Well, now I know to be careful in how I react if you ever drink. I know to try not to make you feel guilty about it. But right now, I admit I don't really see you as likely to start drinking. Have you felt a strong urge to drink recently?"

"No. Actually, not long ago I was thinking about how strange that is. I was very emotional after our fight but…no, I didn't really feel the urge to drink. I guess that's good news. When Noah started blaming me for the accident, I could have killed for a drink. Bu I haven't felt like that for months now."

"Good. You tell me if that changes. And you can go talk to this Carly woman too. Unlike me and Katie and Allison, she knows exactly from experience what you can be going through. It'd be a good idea to talk to her about this."

"Yes it would be"

"Have any other secrets from your past I need to know about?"

Luke groaned. "Oh Lord, if you want the story of my life, we'll never get out of here. Just the things with my family are so complicated…"

"Yeah…it's a miracle you came out as normal as you are. Your family looks complicated. Hell everyone in this town has unbelievable lives. It's like they live in a freaking soap opera"

Luke laughed. "It's not so bad Reid. People here are just…" Luke tried to find a way to say this. "changing partners and getting kidnapped often?" he tried. Reid rolled his eyes. In his exception, half of this town was bonkers. Hopefully, his boyfriend's family would be in the other half.

"So" Luke said. "I'm mostly the one who did the talking. Anything I should know about your past?"

"I'm not used to relationship. I tend to be a workaholic. I can be a huge jerk and will possibly hurt your feelings more than once. I'm anti-social. I'll probably make tones of mistakes when you present me to your family and make them hate me and beg you to take Noah back…"

"That'd never happen" Luke said with conviction. "I think I've spent enough time being a masochist. I want a relationship that actually works now. And my family will love you" Reid gave him a doubtful look. "Well, I'm pretty sure my grandmas will love you. Just eat a lot and compliment her food and you'll have Emma Snyder loving you as family."

"Really?" Reid asked incredulously. "That simple? Wow. I can totally do that. Actually I want to do that. Grandma Emma is officially the first person of your family I want to meet. I love food."

"Yeah I know" Luke said laughing.

"Actually you don't. But you will don't worry. You'll get used to it; Katie did. Boy I can't wait to get out of here and make myself a huge sandwich." Luke laughed. Reid always had this fond expression on his face when he talked about sandwiches; you'd think they're his friends or something.

"But apart for the things I've mentioned before, no there isn't much in my past that you need to know. I pretty much had no life since medical school, so there's nothing to tell. You already know all the important stuff about me Luke. And you love me anyway."

"No I love you because of all those things Dr. Oliver, not in spite of. I told you; you're perfect for me." Reid smiled and kissed Luke on the forehead.

"I like to think you're perfect for me too, . Oh we'll have fights for sure…"

"I'll push you to do stuff that you just don't do" Luke continued.

"And I'll be stubborn and frustrate you, maybe disappoint you"

"But we'll talk things through and ash things out" Luke said.

"Or Allison and Katie will harass us until we talk things through" Reid amended.

"Oh yeah. They'll totally be on our asses"

"Dear Lord, Katie is going to be even more insufferable than she was before."

"Oh please, you love how insufferable she is"

"You'll never get to me to admit that Snyder." Reid teased. Luke simply raised an eyebrow and kissed him again.

"So…are we okay now?" Luke asked insecurely.

Reid looked at Luke. "This is the sort of things I can expect due to Mayer's treatment of you, huh?" Luke looked down and whispered a soft 'sorry'. Reid shook his head. "There is nothing to be sorry about Luke. It's alright. I was stating a fact; I wasn't making a reproach. You think I mind you being insecure? Hell Luke I'll probably lash out at you and pick up a fight because of some sort of insecurity that I'll have. Everyone has insecurities. I was mostly just reminding myself that I will need to give you verbal reassurance, like tell you I love you and how amazing you are and things like that. It's not…they're not exactly things that I'm totally comfortable saying often but I love you and I'm ready to leave my comfort zone for your happiness because I know you'd do the same for me and that you won't ask me for more than you know I can give you. But you need to stop with all the blaming of yourself. I won't blame you for anything Luke. I'll get angry sure, but will I blame you for things not working out? No! Because whatever is not working out has both you and I as the cause. It takes two to tango as they say. So don't ever think any thing I say is a blame ok?" Reid asked kissing Luke's forehead.

"Ok. We'll…we'll work things out. You and I will be okay" Luke said snuggling more into Reid. "Yeah, we'll be just fine" he whispered to himself. Luke kiss Reid's lips softly. "I love you Reid" Reid captured Luke's lips and kissed him strongly, his tongue battling with Luke's for a dominance that Luke gladly allowed Reid to win.

"I love you too, Mr. Snyder. Now how about you take a nap huh? Knowing you, you probably barely slept in the last few days and I could use some rest myself."

"I think that's a wonderful idea Dr. Oliver….at least if I'm allowed to nap right here, 'cause if you want me to leave this bed or leave you, you've got another thing coming mister" Reid laughed

"I wouldn't want it any other way, Snyder. Now come on" Both men settled down on the bed comfortably and as close to the other as possible. The last few days had been taxing on the both of them and they were exhausted from all the emotional turmoil it involved. For once, Luke fell asleep completely at peace. Talking to Reid had been hard but it had been worth it. Now that what he had been feeling was out in the open, he could finally feel able to move on from it and make himself a new life with the man he loved and who loved him back. Things were finally, truly right.

**/**

**AN:** Finally! Sorry, but that was long to write. Anyway, I really, really hope you liked it. I don't know why but I'm feeling really insecure about this chapter. I hope it didn't disappoint your expectations. I didn't think the conversation would be this long; I thought I'd need another part dealing with something else to have a good number of words…but no. My muse only wanted to deal with this conversation and as you know I have an extremely difficult muse. So Thanks for reading and please comment, it's always helpful. Next update will be…well I'll try to post within 7-8 days. Hopefully, I'll manage.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Really wished I owed ATWT...or at least Reid, but I don't. It's a sad, sad world we live in**

**AN: Finally an update! Colds and Mid-terms at University...oh the joy. I've been tired and writer blocked these last two weeks, but now I wrote this! (instead of my midterm paper due next Wednesday...I'm being a bad student...and right now I'm working on le Choix du coeur instead of my paper...oh procrastination you evil thing!) Anyway, hope you like this!**

**Chapter 11**

Luke Snyder felt amazing. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had felt so blissfully happy. The last few weeks had been great. Reid was finally released from the hospital soon after his big discussion with Luke but wasn't expected to go back to work quite just yet. He could come back now, but since Bob still felt kinda bad, he had given Reid extra vacation to make sure the older man would be back at 110%. As a result, Luke and Reid had spent a lot of time together. Luke rapidly saw the differences between his relationship with Reid and the one he had with Noah. Noah had been his first boyfriend and as such would always have a special place inside his heart, but things with Reid were so much better. It was hard to explain. The only thing he could think of was that his relationship with Reid was…natural. Things flowed really well. There weren't terribly awkward moments or fear of what was to come. He could finally take a day by day approach and stop constantly wondering about the future. His couple felt safe; he didn't feel like Reid could walk out on him at any given time. And he always felt those pleasant butterflies floating around his stomach. It was a nice change; he hadn't felt like that around Noah in a long time. He knew butterflies are normally not internal but he was convinced that if they ever went away it would be because they evolved into something even deeper. In a way, it was actually quite scary to think like that. Sure, he didn't worry about the future, but that didn't mean he never ever thought about it. The problem is, now, when he imagined his future, Reid was always in it. He saw his relationship with Reid as a 'forever' one. When he stopped to think about it, he would blushed and then get a little anxious because there's never any solid certainties. But then he'd remember how happy he was right now with Reid and that no matter what the future hold, he could at least look back and have those wonderful memories. Still, he did hope Reid and him were the real deal. It seemed Luke's internal hopeless romantic had decided to come back at the surface. Reid of course had a lot of fun teasing Luke about his romantic side and kept telling him he should audition for a role in a soap opera; he'd fit right in. Luke's only response to these comments were to throw a pillow or cushion in Reid's face, which of course only made the older man laugh more. Luke was actually surprised by that. Sure he knew Reid was quite different around him then when he was in public, but he hadn't imagined the older man would laugh so much. Luke and Reid were often teasing each other, gently pushing certain buttons, and just playing around. Reid said Luke made him act like a kid. Luke said Reid made Luke feel like a real adult. Luke concluded they were good for each other.

And they were really good for each other. In more ways than one. Let's just say there compatibility extended to things that you normally do in private….when Katie and the kid were out. Reid still teased Luke mercilessly at how shy he was about talking about sex. The first time Allison had asked him if Reid was good at 'exercising' with him, he had blushed to the point of putting a tomato to shame. Allison had gaped and exclaimed "Oh my god! That good! Oooohhh now I want details. Spill Snyder." And he had.

"Oh God Alli, you have no idea. I mean it was….there's just no words. I mean I thought Noah and I had sex….eventually" Luke added as an afterthought. Dear Lord had he really waited two years before sleeping with his ex? He hadn't even been dating Reid when he had the urge to throw him on a bed and beg him to have his wicked way with him (in Texas…and then after Noah's surgery…and then at his house…although the last one, he didn't regret not acting on. Being caught kissing another guy by your ex with whom you still have unfinished business with was one thing; being caught having sex with another guy….well that was another thing altogether and a whole new level of incredibly embarrassing.) "But apparently we should have talked to someone because we didn't get things right." Allison stifled a laugh at that comment. "No I'm serious Alli. Noah and I…what we did…if I compare it to what I do with Reid, I'm not even sure I can call it sex at all. Well no I can call it sex but I certainly can't call it making love. You know I always wondered what the big deal was. I mean sure it was physically pleasant…kind of…towards the end 'cause at first it just really hurt and sometimes it actually didn't feel much like anything you know. I would just stay there and wait for Noah to finish and then…well I didn't even feel like jerking off afterwards."

Allison's eyes widened. "My god Luke you sound like Maddie when she told me about her new boyfriend a couple of months back. She said it was all she could do not to start laughing during sex because she was bored out of her mind. I thought she was exaggerating. Although I can understand the 'it's not making love part'. You don't always connect profoundly with the person you're having sex with. It's why people who have sex early discover a whole new side to it when they become older. Because when you're like 14, you're not equipped yet to truly connect with someone else on a profound level. Well…at least when you're the kind of 14 year old girl I've met in my stage as a high school nurse."

"You were a high school nurse?" Luke asked surprised. He didn't know that.

"Oh not for long. I quickly transferred back to the hospital. It wasn't very mentionable. Basically it was teens asking questions about sex."

"That sound embarrassing."

Allison rolled her eyes. "Seriously, sometimes Luke, you're such a prude. I'd imagined Reid would have cured you from that" Luke blushed intensely. Alli raised an eyebrow at him, urging him to spill.

"Well…it's not a subject I can talk about matter-of-factly like Reid can, but…well… he has made me try things that I would never ever, **ever **have thought about doing before."

Luke was beet red. A particular memory had resurfaced when he told Allison that. They had been at the movie theatre on a date and the movie had been incredibly disappointing and mind numbing. Especially for Reid. He wasn't a huge fan of movies in the first place but he knew Luke liked them a lot so he made an effort to watch one with him once in a while. But this movie had been even more horrible in Reid's mind than any other before. Hell, he preferred the Disney movies he had watched with Nathalie and Ethan on one of those days where Lily had just dumped (Reid's word, not Luke's) the kids on Luke and made the latter cancel his date with Reid. The third time that happened, Reid was pissed and started wondering if it was just an excuse, so he had shown up at the Walsh residence anyway. When he saw that there were indeed kids there, he had tried to run for it but Luke had hugged him and had been so happy to see him and that Reid would finally get to meet someone of his family that Reid had just sighed silently and mentally called himself a whipped man and awkwardly sat down with the kids. Babies were just fine in Reid's book but that was because they hadn't started talking or being able to form opinions on people yet. As soon as toddlers became kids, Reid did not know what to do and preferred to stay far away from them. Luke had said that it would be good practiced for when Jacob got older. Reid had replied that Jacob was his nephew and therefore family, which was totally different. Family normally automatically liked each other. Or at least a family where Katie Snyder is in it anyway. Then Luke had argued that technically Ethan and Nathalie were Reid's sister and brother-in-law and therefore family too. Reid hadn't found anything to say to that and Luke had won the verbal sparing match yet again. It seemed to be impossible for Reid to win a battle nowadays. He couldn't wait to get back to the hospital and start torturing interns again (he couldn't torture nurses anymore. Not after all their cards and worry. He doubted he'd be able to be nice to them…he just didn't do nice and that was that and if you screwed up then you needed to be told, but torture for the heck of it? Nope. Not for his nurses. Everyone else was fair game though. Oh he couldn't wait!) So yes, he had been forced to watch Disney. He had pulled faces at the sappiness of certain scenes which had intrigued Ethan. When he had explained to the little guy why he was pulling faces, the kid just laugh and said Reid was strange but that he liked him. His sister agreed too. She was also fascinated about Reid's job so Reid started to explain biology concepts to her while she listened avidly. When Luke told him later on that Nathalie had told Lily she wanted to be a doctor who cuts people open to fix them when she grew older, Reid had just smirked. He still didn't like kids, but apparently there were two new additions to that rule. But Luke's mind was digressing again. Which was good because thinking about that day at the cinema.

"Luke, earth to Luke!" Alli said

"Sorry I got lost in thought"

"Apparently. But you're not red anymore so I guess it's not dirty thoughts." Luke shook his head. "Well change that because I want to know what Dr Oliver had succeeded in making this prude do!"

"Shut up" Luke exclaimed blushing again.

"Oh come one Luke. I have no life. Give a girl something to vicariously feel." Luke rolled his eyes. His friend had won.

"Ok. Well you know how I like movies but Reid's not a fan. Well, we went to the cinema to watch this movie that really wasn't so great, which of course meant Reid absolutely hated it. He got bored and well…I discovered you don't want Reid to get bored…well actually I do, but that's because he deals with boredom with me differently than with other people. "

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"It depends on what you think I'm saying"

"Well, did he do a job?" Alli asked. She didn't need an answer though. The look on Luke's face told her everything. Semi-public…oh yeah, that'd definitively be out of Luke's comfort zone all right. " A job that starts with a h or an o?" Luke hold out two fingers. The second one then. Oh my. Allison had never ever done that. "Is he good at that?"

Luke groaned. "Oh you have no idea girl. It's better than sex with Noah was! Like a lot better. Reid is just…so intense you know"

"Oh yeah. If he puts as much focus on you as he does his job…wow you must find it hard to hold it in and last long."

"Oh I don't. But then he just makes me come again and again. I feel like I have no stamina with him. It was so embarrassing. I couldn't look at him in the face after the first few times we did anything. He thought I didn't like it or that we had moved too fast and he stopped coming on to me which of course made me feel worse because I thought he wasn't enjoying himself with me and….it was just a huge misunderstanding that lasted about a week. Longest freaking week of my life I tell you. Then Katie sat us down and glared at us and said that if we didn't talk about what was creating all this tension, she'd ties us up and force us to watch 24 hours in a row of the Young and the Restless. Reid was so traumatized by the idea that he ended up spilling his guts. And thank lord for that because I was too shy to start a conversation about it. When I finally explained what I was embarrassed about he looked so shocked. It was like I was an Alien or something. He said I was a complete idiot and that he loved how responsive I was and was absolutely crazy about the fact that he could make me lose myself completely. He then sighed and said he really needed to kick Mayer's ass…..which I hope he was only kidding about" Luke added as an afterthought.

"I'm sure he won't do it. He needs his hands for his job….unless he meant literally kick Noah's butt then yes he could do it. Preferably somewhere I can film it"

"Allison!" Luke exclaimed in shock at his friend.

"What? You can't tell me he doesn't deserve it. I'd kick his ass if I could for your sake, but I won't because I know you wouldn't want me to and as a friend, an offence is less easy to forgive than it would be to forgive your hot loving boyfriend."

"You think Reid is hot?" Alli looked at him with a 'well DUH' expression. Luke smiled. "He really is, isn't he? I'm dating a hot guy!"

"A hot, older guy with a super job that makes money…..Not that you'd need money, but for the rest of us, it's a good thing. Allows you to buy a house sooner than later."

"uh…I don't think Reid and I are there quite yet."Luke said slowly. "I mean sure things are going great! I love spending time with Reid. Hell I spent more time at Katie's than at home but…." Luke paused and thought. Actually, living with Reid officially didn't sound so bad….or so different from what they were already doing. Luke smiled. When the right timing came, he knew he'd be totally ready to move in with Reid. It was great. There had been some doubts before moving in with Noah, but with Reid he was confident things would work out just fine.

"Well duh. It's early for that plus I think Katie really likes having Reid and you around. It's not easy for her since Brad. She's quite lonely and she told me having Reid as a masculine model for Jacob was a huge relief. She knows Jacob won't remember being so small, but there's a lot of psychology specialist who says our experiences from our birth shape us. We develop a lot of things unconsciously and the deep link you create with your parents is formed when you're still a baby. She's single now so she's really happy that Reid is in the portrait. This way, Jacob will have a strong link with a man, even though Reid isn't his father. He'll be the uncle Jacob can turn to for guys stuff. Unless he wants to go fishing." Allison added after thinking a little. "That, he'll probably ask his uncle Luke."

Luke laughed. "Yeah probably. My god, can you imagine Reid fishing!"

"Oh dear lord know. He's bound to start insulting the fish to occupy his mind! It'd actually be kind of funny to watch."

"I won't tell Reid that!"

Allison's eyes widened "Oh please don't. I don't need Dr. Oliver on my back on his very first day back as revenge from what I said"

"Oh come one Reid wouldn't do that" Luke said. Allison gave him an incredulous look "Ok, ok you're right, he would totally do that! But you're his favourite nurse so, he'd probably go easier on you than the others. And if not, you can always ask Katie to force him to watch her soaps with her! She's really good in tricking him into doing things he doesn't want to do. I don't know how she does it, but she's really amazing at it."

"Katie is amazing at convincing people period. You know how I don't do blind dates nor double dates? I had a double blind date with Katie the other day!"

"Really? How did that go?"

"It was fun!" Allison said with a huge smile. " Katie is so hilarious sometimes! We went to a carnival and she made me go on these rides with her. I was super scared because I hate heights so she kept doing these imitations of Reid and Chris before the ride went off to distract me… She's so good at doing them! You need to ask her to make her imitation of Chris. Trust me, it's really funny" Allison continued describing her double blind date to Luke and the latter wondered if his friend noticed that she was talking exclusively about Katie. Apparently, whoever she had been on that blind date with had been less than memorable. Hell, neither he nor Katie's date were mentioned in any of the activities that happened on that date. Peculiar kind of blind date if you ask him. He wondered….naw!

So yes, Luke had told Allison all about sex with Reid. Actually, he told Allison….well pretty much everything nowadays. Casey was mighty busy doing Lord knows what, to which Allison had coughed 'doing whom' and then told Luke that he really, really didn't want to know. It was bad enough Allison knew about it while being such good friends with Katie. Luke didn't see what that had to do with Casey but figured if Allison said he didn't want to know, then he really didn't want to know. His friend had picked up Katie's liking of gossip apparently and loved to know everything about everything. Not that Luke was complaining. His newfound closeness to Alli was doing him wonders. It was so amazing to have people he could talk to about absolutely everything. Especially since Reid would soon go back to work. There was a lot of work waiting for him when he got back and Reid had warned Luke that they were in for a rough few months. Reid would have to work extra hours, although he promised nothing as extreme as the "two months of doom" as Luke had called them. Reid had looked at him funny the first time he had referred to them as such and had said maybe it was a good thing he had stopped writing. The usual cushion in the face was his only answer. Man, but Reid could really get the Brat out of Luke sometimes. However, it seemed that Reid's teasing was all Luke needed to start writing again. Reid whined about it at first, saying that Luke liked his writing more than him. Unfortunately for Reid, Katie had been home when he said that. The result was a slap on the back of the head and a forced shopping trip with her so Luke could write in peace. "Come on Reid. Stop being such a big baby. I bet when Luke barely sees you for two weeks because of your work, he won't whine even half as much as you do! Besides, the more peace he has, the quicker he will write and have time to do something with you" Katie had told her 'brother'. Luke had had to force himself not to laugh at his boyfriend's pout. He could groan all he wanted, it was extremely rare for him to deny Katie anything. Of Luke for that matter. Then again, they hadn't talked about big family reunions or galas yet so…he'll see. He could always go to benefits and galas with Alli as a friendly date. Family reunions though were not negotiable. But Luke figured that by the time Reid met everyone, he'd be ready for a big reunion. The older man had already met Katie, Nathalie, Ethan, Jack and Carly.

The two last ones had come as a surprise to Luke. He didn't even know that Reid had the intention of going to meet them for real, let alone going to meet them on his own. He had gone to the police station and asked Jack if it was possible to talk to him about how he dealt with Carly's alcoholism. At the man's shocked face, he had explained that he was now dating Luke and that his boyfriend feared that Reid wouldn't be able to handle it if he started drinking again and admitted to actually having no clue as to how he would react to it. And Reid always knew how he would react. The uncertainty was bugging him, especially since it concerned Luke. Jack had looked at him with a sad, comprehensive smile and invited him to dinner that night. It took some convincing since Reid didn't do dinners with anyone but Katie, Jacob, Luke and Allison, but in the end, the doctor had accepted. Reid had been surprised at the couple's hospitality and at their willingness to discuss such a sensitive issue with him. Carly was able to provide Reid with some insight as to how things are for an alcoholic and how people's reactions affected her. Jack provided some insight on how hard it is at times and how the person you love is so different when they're drunk. Both of them had been supportive and had told Reid that Luke and he were welcome at any time for anything. When Reid had mentioned going to meetings for alcoholics' family, Carly had tears forming in her eyes and she had hugged him so hard Reid was still affected by it when he came home. She had hugged him and told him he was a good man and that Luke was lucky to have found him. And then she had released him and asked him to tell Luke that she was there for him and that if he ever thought about drinking, even if it was 3 o'clock in the morning, he could call her and she'd go to him immediately. Jack said he would to. Basically, Jack and Carly had welcomed Reid as part of the Snyder family. Reid had been a little shaken when he got home. He was unused to people hugging him as Luke knew. However, Reid was also unused to people liking him and welcoming him. Reid told Luke that he never really had a family, Katie and Jacob being the closest thing. He had been surprised at Jack and Carly's willingness to just accept him. Luke had hugged him and whispered 'Of course they loved you!" in Reid's ear. Reid had felt content. He wasn't into the whole big family thing, but it was nice that people in the Snyder clan liked him. Especially since he knew that Lily Walsh would not welcome him with open arms. Luke tried to reassure him she would, but it felt false even to his ears.

Luke and Lily's relationship was the only thing that had gone bad in the last few weeks. After Nathalie had told her mother she wanted to be a surgeon, the older woman had questioned her youngest son until he admitted that Reid had babysat with him. Apparently, the discussion that ensued didn't go so well. She had forbidden Luke from bringing Reid home again and it hadn't sat well with her son at all. There was a huge argument between them. The next time Reid met Nathalie, the little girl thanked him for making her big bother stronger. Reid, confused, had asked her what she meant by it. Nathalie explained that though she was young, she could tell when someone was not happy. She said that for as long as she could remember, her big brother Luke had never fought back against her mom even when it made Luke sad. But that time, Luke had fought back and told Lily exactly what he wanted. She wanted to hear nothing of it and had left during the fight which made Luke cry. Nathalie wasn't happy with her mother at the moment and had asked to go to her Dad and Molly's place for a while since Dad didn't make Luke sad. Reid looked at that little girl and thought that she was wise beyond her years. It also made him think that she had potential as a future doctor because if you wanted to put yourself through medical school, you had to act older than your age, otherwise you'll fail because you go out all the time. Reid had tried to talk about Lily to Luke, but the younger man changed the subject and Reid didn't want to push. He simply told Luke he loved him and hugged him hard. Luke appreciated Reid not pushing for answers. He didn't want to think about his fights with his mom when he was with his boyfriend. He wanted to be happy. But it was becoming obvious that his relationship with Lily was hurting him.

Reid didn't know what to do. He was due to go back to work within the next week and the idea of leaving his boyfriend alone with Lily made his skin crawled. He had talked to both Katie and Allison and asked them to try and distract Luke while he was working, but Allison had arranged her schedule so she would work at the same time as Reid most of the time so she wouldn't be very present. Katie had of course accepted but she also had to work. So did Luke actually, but he worked less than Reid and Reid feared he would go back to his mom's home after work instead of going to Katie's.

"You know Luke," Reid said. "Since we only need one bed for the two of us, you could come live here for a while. You don't have to stay at your mom's. Nathalie is at your Dad's after all and you could still pick up Ethan to play with him."

"Reid" Luke sighed. "It's fine. Beside, things with my mom won't get better if I'm not there."

"Have they gotten better even though you're there right now?" It was true. Luke had been spending less time at Katie's and Reid's place as usual.

"No" Luke said sadly. Reid's heart ached. He hated seeing that dejected look on Luke's face. Then he remembered something Allison and Katie had mentioned. They had said that maybe, since things with Lily couldn't be made better, making things good with Luke's dad would cheer him up a little. This way, he could have one parent who backs this relationship with Reid up.

"You know, I've been thinking…I've seen your mom a couple of times but…I never really saw your dad. Or at least I haven't really interacted with him. I was wondering if perhaps I could meet him. The way Nathalie and Ethan talk about him, he seems like a good guy who might just be able to tolerate my unsocial ways. His cousin Jack likes me after all."

Luke looked at his boyfriend startled. "You…You'd like to meet my dad" Luke asked, his voice filled with hope.

"Yeah" Reid answered simply. "I'd liked to meet your dad" Luke smiled, grabbed Reid and kissed him hard. Reid responded in kind. He loved kissing Luke. Sadly, this was a short kiss. "I'm gonna go call my dad!"

Reid was left on the couch with hard on and no way to relieve it since apparently Luke's dad was free for dinner tonight.

The Snyder farm was….something else. Reid had never really been on a farm before and he didn't really think he was missing out on anything. His boyfriend though would certainly disagree with him. He was so enthusiastic when he showed everything to Reid. Especially the pond. Luke love the pond. Reid didn't know what to tell his boyfriend. You see, in his opinion, there wasn't anything special about the pond. So when Luke suggested they go take a swim in it one day soon, Reid didn't really know how to react. But apparently, something negative showed on his face because Luke immediately lost his smile.

"Or you know we could not" Luke said awkwardly. "I mean there's no need to swim in the pond"

Reid sighed. "Luke, it's not that I don't want to go swimming with you. It's just….do you have any idea how many germs there are in ponds and lake? Not to mention leeches and…"

"There aren't any leeches in our pond Reid" Luke said.

"Well…ok. I guess I can swim with you. But not long and if I feel something gross on me I'm getting out and watching my hot boyfriend swim alone ok. I just…Luke there are just some things that…" Reid sighed again and pinched his nose. "Ok take three days ago as an example. Katie cleaned the bathroom and when she put the toothbrush back in their places, she put mine on the wrong side. You should ask her how I reacted. I got angry. I never get angry at Katie but changing my routines…it's just…I'm a methodical person and certain things comfort me. Putting my half-naked body in unsanitary water doesn't comfort me. It creeps me out. But…" He added slowly. "If you can distract me so I don't think about all the germs that might be crawling all over my skin, then I could take swims with you in the pond. Just…Just don't make it a big issue if I take a really long shower afterwards. I don't consider myself a neat freak but I have been told that I might be a little obsessive when it comes to cleanliness. But then that person didn't throw out his used Kleenex so…."

Luke was trying not to smile. He really was. Obviously, his boyfriend was having a serious talk with him but he was babbling so awkwardly that Luke couldn't help but find it incredibly adorable and totally hilarious.

"It's okay Reid. I'm sure once you swim in it once, you'll see there are no big evil germ trying to kill you in it." Luke said smiling. Reid frowned at him

"Ah ah. Real funny Mister Snyder"

"Oh come on Reid, don't be like that. I don't mean anything by it. I understand. Well not totally because for me swimming here is just natural. But I know there are things I wouldn't be comfortable doing, like let's say getting a b-job in the middle of a movie theatre" Reid smiled at that. Best movie theatre experience ever! "but I still accepted to try it. I think it's a good thing to try new things. And this really means something to me, so if you could do it at least once, I'd really appreciate it."

"Haven't I already said I would do it Snyder? Well I'll say it again. I'll take a swim in this pond with you. But not today because I don't want to meet your father completely soaked from hear to toe" Luke smiled. He gave Reid a small kiss and took his hand again to lead him towards the main house.

Once there, Reid was quite surprised at the reception he got.

"Reid!" Holden Snyder exclaimed. " Finally, it's nice to meet you properly" the older man said shaking Reid's hand enthusiastically. What was it with these Snyder and being so welcoming? "This is my love, Molly"

"Glad to see you again, Dr. Oliver. We've been hearing so much about you."

"Really?" Reid and Luke asked, surprised.

"Oh yes" Holden answered. "It's all Nathalie can talk about. 'Reid said that a good doctor always washes his hands' 'Reid showed what I look like without skin!"

"Reid this, Reid that" Molly added with a huge smile. "You've made quite an impression on her. All she can talk about recently is how she wants to be a doctor and operate on people."

"Yes although she calls it 'cutting them open' which I'm trying to discourage her of. I had a complaint from her teacher because she told a friend that she would 'cut people open' when she grew up and her friend told the teacher about it. If you could get her to use another term, we'd be really grateful Reid. She won't listen to us"

Reid flinched. "That's actually my fault. I'm not…I don't really know anything about kids and at what age they understand certain things. I didn't know what Nathalie could understand so I tried to use simple words. I'll tell her to use operate instead. Sorry" Reid looked sheepish. He liked Nathalie well enough and didn't mean for her to get in trouble at school. Luke looked at his boyfriend and smile. It was so cute how awkward he was being. Totally different than when he's alone with him (or with Katie and Allison)

"Well, come on." Molly said, "let's sit down."

Dinner with Holden and Molly was very nice and much less awkward than Reid expected. They both were very welcoming and although Reid did his usual thing with sarcasm and kind of jerk-ish replicas, it didn't seem to cause any trouble. Holden ignored his dry humour much in the same way as Luke did, but Molly….she loved Reid's jokes and sarcasm. She had a couple of her own too. At the end of the supper, the Snyder men had decided to take a walk together. Luke and Holden used to be very close but they hadn't spent a lot of time together recently. Reid was a little nervous at being left alone but he really shouldn't have been. Molly was quite something else. She could tell you things about people in this town….and although she admitted being like them before (something that Reid had trouble picturing), she was now mostly away from the drama now that her ex wasn't an issue anymore. Holden had been very supportive of her and she looked very happy. Reid could now see that Luke had been right; their relationship was like Molly and Holden's. Reid found that strangely, talking to Molly came naturally.

" I'm so glad Luke had found you. It's so obvious that he's happy. It truly warms my heart to see that. And Ethan and Nathalie seem to love you."

"Yeah, Lord knows why. I guess they take after their older brother"

"I hope not! That's be awkward to have them crushing on you" Molly joked. Reid shuddered at the idea and Molly laughed at his expression.

" I'm suddenly very glad they are still kids." Reid said. "How about you? Do they like you? I know sometimes the step-mom has trouble being accepted."

"Oh no. They like me. I'm not their mother, but they like me. Faith actually confides more in my than in her mother."

Reid snorted. "Can't blame her for that!"

"Why? You don't feel like confiding in Lily?"

"It's hard to confide in a woman who has forbidden her son from bringing you in her house or exposing him to her kids." Reid said derisively. Molly looked at him in slight shocked.

"You're…tell me you're joking. She didn't really forbid Luke, her 22 years old son, from seeing his boyfriend"

"Looks like it. Then according to little Nat, she left in the middle of the argument and made Luke really, really sad. I hate seeing him like this. Every time he goes in that house, he comes back to me with this haunted look on his face."

"Wow…that's heavy. I mean I'm not on Lily's good book in any way, she pretty much loathes me for being with Holden but Luke is her son. It's something else entirely to act like a….like a…."

"Like a selfish bitch?" Reid suggested. Molly's twitched to smile. Finally someone who didn't like perfect Lily. Seriously, even her cousin Carly kind of liked her. Then again, Molly knew that if Lily liked you, she could be very nice. Didn't stop her from being a bitch from hell many times over though.

" Something like that yes, but don't tell Holden, he really would not like me to talk about Lily like that. He still loves her so much….I feel like I can't say anything bad about her"

Reid snorted "Oh do I know how you feel. The same thing could be said about Luke about Noah. At the beginning of our relationship, we had a huge fact about it. He kept putting Mayer on a pedestal, and I felt like I could never compete"

"Exactly!" Molly exclaimed. "Doesn't it drive you crazy at times!"

"It did. But we talked about it. Luke…he doesn't love Noah anymore. Well at least not romantically."

"Thank goodness for that" Molly said to herself although it was clear Reid heard her when he raised an eyebrow. "It's just…there was something about their couple that I really did not like. I didn't have the impression Noah treated Luke right. It seemed to me like Luke was the one giving everything and only receiving put downs in return. I've seen relationship like that before. It's not healthy. "

"No it's really not. Luke compared his relationship with Noah with the relationship between his parents. So I wouldn't worry about Holden and Lily if I were you. Like Luke said, your relationship with Holden is much better and healthier than the one he had with Lily even in the best of times. There was always another shoe ready to drop."

"Well that's really nice of you to say, but sometimes, even though Holden and I are engaged….I can't help but feel that she will always come first. And that really hurts"

"Have you told him that. And my god, I can't believe I'm advocating communication. What has Luke done to me?" Molly laughed. "But seriously, talking about it, it helped Luke and I."

"I tried. But he always says I'm imagining things."

"Try again. And if it doesn't work, talk to Luke. He really doesn't want his dad to put a 'Luke' and go back to Lily, like Luke always used to go back to Noah. That's over for him. He moved on. He's with me now. But I had help to get here in my relationship with Luke. If Allison Stewart hadn't confronted Luke and enumerated all the ways Noah and he were bad for each other….I'd probably be just where you are right now. In doubts but hanging on to the man I love. But I did have Allison and Luke sat down and really thought things through in a way most people rarely do and he finally understood what was going on with himself and that although the issues that Noah created within him aren't over, Noah and he are most definitively finished. If you think Holden won't listen to you than talk to Luke. I'd talk to him but I barely know him so it wouldn't be useful. But his own son…from what I heard about him, he's a really good dad. He'll listen to Luke."

Molly's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"No problem. And if you need someone to complain about Lily to, feel free to talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to about that either. Luke would be too hurt and Katie and Allison would rip me a new one for saying something that could hurt Luke."

"Oh I'll definitively take you up on that offer . I have to be so careful about what I say about her in front of the kids and Holden, it'll be nice to get a few things off my chest." Reid gave her a 'go ahead' sign. Turns out she really did have a lot to get off her chest. Reid didn't mind though. It gave him an idea of what to expect from Lily and of how things between Luke's parents were.

When Luke and Reid drove to Katie's home that night, they were both smiling. Granted Reid's smile was a lot smaller than Luke's but it was a smile nonetheless.

"So…did you like my dad."

"Well I'm not the one who spent the most time with him but yeah, I liked him. Loved your step-mom though. She was great. She gets my humour and she's able to bitch about Oakhell and its crazy citizen as much as I am! I think you may need to be the Allison to your Dad though. I don't know how he thinks things are going with Molly but in her opinion…"

"What?" Luke asked, a little urgently. He liked Molly and his dad was happy with her. He really didn't want them to separate.

"Remember that fight we had on our first day as an official couple?"

"Of course I do" It had been difficult days.

"Well, let's just say Molly is me and your dad is you that day. And they haven't arrived to the three-days-later-post-Allison-wake-up-call-and-post-deep-self-reflection stage yet. She doesn't think she would come first to your dad. Not when Lily is concerned and she's scared he'll get back to her the same way I was scared you'd get back to Noah."

Luke frowned. He didn't like this at all. His dad and Molly were great. His dad and his mom were self-destructing. He had grown up in their constant blow-ups and make-ups and so had Faith. He was an alcoholic (not that it was his parents' fault. But the break-ups sure hadn't helped him) who had spent years in a unhealthy relationship; she was a drug user who also had issues when it came to relationships of the heart. Their parents' relationship had affected the both of them. They were both terrified of people leaving. It was enough. He didn't want Nathalie and Ethan to grow up like that.

"I'll talk to dad, don't worry about it." Luke said. Reid took Luke's hand in his and squeezed.

/

AN: Here it was. I really hoped you like it! It was another long chapter so I hope it kind of makes up for the slow update rate. Hope to see you guys soon with the next update! **Oh and thanks to all my reviewers. You guys are AWESOME!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: If I owned it, Reid would be alive and I would not hate the authors of ATWT and other owners like I still do. Yes I'm bitter that they totally ruined this show and killed the best soap character that ever existed. There's stupidity, utter stupidity, indescribable stupidity and then there's them. I'm not a genius but I'm not that stupid either, so yeah I'm not the one who owns this show. I'm just one of the many trying to fix their bullsh*t.

**AN:** HELLO! I didn't think I would have the time to update anything at all untill MAy (the end of my stages) but here I am. Sorry for the terribly long wait between updates. If you don't remember this story go to this page .com/lure_, and **read the chapters summaries. **

Also, this story is AU and in it Vienna never pretended to be pregnant(because gosh was that bad writing) and didn't stop her affair with Casey. What happened? You will know in this chapter.

**CHAPTER 12**

Soon enough, Reid was perfectly healthy again and back to his usual self. The nurses had thrown him a welcome back party, and the other doctors felt like they could finally breathe again. With Reid back, they hoped that the nurses would go back to normal instead of emulating Reid as much as they could. One Reid Oliver was bad enough; they really didn't need a gang of mini-Reids. And the doctors had been right. With Reid back to play the big bad wolf, the nurses had fallen back in their own patterns, complaining about Reid during lunch or dinner and laughing at Reid's comments when they weren't directed towards themselves. Of course, Reid going back to work full-time meant that he had little time with Luke. However, unlike Reid's previous partner, Luke was very understanding and patient. He knew that the months Reid had been out of commission had created a huge waiting list and that Reid's almost constant busyness was only temporary. Temporary didn't mean that it would be only for a short while, though. They didn't know how long it would last, but both of them were decided to make it work.

In the meantime, Luke had started working at the foundation again and he had renewed his friendship with Allison and Casey. They now had planned outings together two or three times a week. Luke found out that he had missed a few things about his old best buddy's life. First, Casey had been involved in an illicit affair with Vienna. He had loved it and had refused to listen to Allison when she told him it wasn't right but then through some twist of faith, Casey kept getting in situations involving Henry and he had started to get close to the other man. He liked Vienna a lot and it was fun but he couldn't do this to Henry anymore and had called it quits. Vienna hadn't been particularly devastated at the news at first, but she did end up missing Casey. He was really fun and she found that having fun was missing in her relationship with Henry. Oh she still had tried to make it work and had been devastated when Henry had left her for Barbara. She pleaded with him not to do this and that she could make him love her again but Henry had made his decision. Almost losing Barbara to cancer had opened his eyes. He truly had wanted what he used to have with Vienna but the truth was, his heart had belonged to Barbara for a while now.

So Vienna had rushed to Katie's place and had asked her to reason with Henry. The older woman did so but then she saw Barbara and Henry together and she just knew her best friend had made the right choice. So she bought tones of ice cream and chick flicks and helped her friend through the break-up. It was why she had visited Reid less often in the last weeks he was at the hospital. Little by little, Katie started to convince Vienna that she hadn't lost her only hope at love and that Henry wasn't the right man for her. For one, Henry wanted to get married and after much prompting from Katie, Vienna admitted to herself that it wasn't really what she wanted. Or at least she didn't want the kind of marriage she would have had with Henry. She wanted to have fun! Like she had with Casey! So she went back to him and asked for a chance to try dating him. Casey hadn't needed to be told twice; he apparently really, really liked Vienna. The night they hooked back up together at the hospital was the night Katie had received the visit of another crying friend: Allison. The young nurse hadn't been as over Casey as she used to think. She was devastated that things were well and truly over. Luke had offered his support. He knew how it felt; he had been sad when he had realized that he and Noah were over for good. And just like Luke, Allison needed closure from her relationship with Casey.

The second big surprise in Casey's life was that he wasn't on friendly terms with Noah anymore. It seemed that after the whole Luke-kissing-his-doctor-and-lying-to-Noah episode, Noah had exploded from rage and vented at Casey. At first, Casey had understood and had tried to be a supportive friend. But Noah just wouldn't let go. "He was just always talking about how you had betrayed him, you know" Casey had told Luke at one point "Like you had cheated on him or something. So I got fed up. He kept hating on you and dude you're my best friend. I told him he had the right to be angry at the lying and I understood his hurt at finding out things were truly over between you guys but I just couldn't get his anger. He had started dating that Richard guy when he was blind after all. And you didn't get angry at him for it because you guys were broken up. I reminded him of that and it pissed him off. We argued and I ended up calling him a selfish hypocrite. I told him when he stopped acting like a jackass he could come visit me, but until then I didn't want anything to do with him" Luke had been sad when Casey had told him that. He didn't wish anything bad on Noah, not really anyway. He had been thinking about talking to Noah but that particular conversation with Casey had dissuaded him. Allison had pointed out that the huge fight had happened around the same time as Reid being hospitalized so Noah could be much calmer now but she still offered to check up on Noah before Luke went to talk to him.

So generally, things were going well. Luke had made it his mission to make sure that his father would not make the same mistake Luke had made with Noah so he spent quite a bit of time at the farm. He helped with the wedding preparations and kept pointing out how happy his father looked with Molly. He had found a new appreciation of the woman his father would soon marry. Luke missed Reid terribly and being around a woman who had a similar sense of humor to the doctor's, made things more bearable for him. Being closer to Molly also helped Luke deal better with the situation with his mom. Indeed, the relationship between Luke and Lily was still strained and eventually, it reached a boiling point.

" That's it. I can't take it anymore!" Luke exclaimed entering Katie's home and shutting the door loudly, startling Katie to the point of heart attack.

"Luke! Darn. Give a girl a warning! I swear my heart stopped for a second. And my personal doctor is stuck in a 5 hours surgery right now. Gosh…" She said. Then she looked at the figure of her friend, slouched on the couch with his head thrown back. He looked really tired. "What happened?"

"My mother happened." He said angrily. "She just can't accept that I'm with Reid. She keeps treating me like I'm a kid who doesn't know what he's doing. I'm apparently in a phase and I will soon see the light and realize how terrible Reid truly is." Luke added sarcastically. "She doesn't even know him!"

"Well it sounds like usual Lily-speech to me. Why are you such in a bad state over this?"

"Normally, she criticizes, I try to defend myself and she shuts the conversation down. Today, however, I just couldn't take it anymore. I blew my top. I'm so sick of her telling me what's better for me. I told her that she's treating me exactly like she always reproached Grandma of treating her; like I'm some kid incapable of making decision and who needs her to guide him."

"Ouch. Comparing her to Lucinda, knowing the issues between the two…"

"Yeah, I know. Not my finest idea. But it gets worse"

"How can it get worse than that? Oh no….Oh no you didn't! Luke tell me you haven't brought up Molly!" Luke nodded. "What were you thinking?"

"That I was sick of my mother bitching about the man I love? I wasn't thinking really. It's just…Dad and Molly accepted Reid so easily and I can't understand why my mom can't try to do the same thing. So of course my mom took offence to me bringing Molly into the conversation and started saying how Molly liking Reid was just the proof that Reid was no good."

" Let me guess. That made you explode"

Luke groaned. " I told her to stop acting like a bitch and that I was glad dad was with Molly and not with her. Yes, yes I know Katie, that was harsh. She's my mother and I shouldn't have said that. But a part of me can't stop thinking that she kind of deserved it after everything she's been putting me through since she learned I was seriously with Reid. I think Reid's been a bad influence on me"

"I think Reid has a good influence on you. You stand up for yourself now and stopped letting your mom walk all over you. And in turn, you made Reid nicer so that he's now bearable when in a mood!"

Luke nodded and asked his friend "Can I sleep here Katie? I don't think I'd be welcome in that house tonight and I already spent a lot of time at the farm recently. I want to give dad and Molly the intimacy they deserve."

"Of course you can but Luke, remind me again just how much money you personally have access too."

Luke frowned. "Quite a bit, why?"

Katie gave him her 'what are you? an idiot?' look. "When young adults want to spread their wings and fly, what do they do?"

Of course. Luke could be such an idiot. "They move out from their parents' house. Of course. Well now I have something to keep me busy tonight. How do you feel about apartment searching?"

"Oh I love it!"

So Katie and Luke started looking for a place. Katie mentioned that they could also look at houses since Luke had so much money but Luke admitted that he wanted his first house to be Reid's and his. He wanted them to go shop for houses together and make a decision that would please both but they were not at that stage in their relationship.

"Luke, you've grown up so much in the last year. You're a real adult now and you're in a real, serious adult relationship. Do you see you and Reid breaking up anytime soon?"

"Of course not!"

"Well me neither. You two are the most stubborn people I know. And you're so crazy in love with each other! Luke, you don't need to wait two years before going to live with Reid. This isn't like with Noah. You should keep the thought of a house in mind. Or at least rent a big enough apartment so that Reid could live there too eventually. After all, when he was released from the hospital, you basically lived here. So it's not like living with Reid on a day to day basis is something new. You've done it before and with Reid's extra busy schedule, living together might be the only way to actually see him!"

"It has been a while since we got any time together." Luke admitted. Reid and he hadn't been able to see each other at all in over a week. He really, really missed him. Living together wouldn't make Reid work any less but at least, when Reid would arrive at 2am in the morning and slip in bed, Luke would be there and he could wake up and kiss him goodnight. That'd be really nice.

"See" Katie insisted "It'd be great. Especially if we can find a place close to here so we can visit each other often. Plus Allison has been talking about moving, She could move in with me. We get along really well and she's so great with Jacob."

"Yeah, plus she could use living with a friend. I don't think she likes Vienna's addition to our little group."

"Well it's not so much Vienna as it is Casey acting all cutesy with Vienna."

"Argh, Please don't remind me. I think I have cavities from watching them. If I ever become like that, please kill me"

Katie laughed. "Allison said the exact same thing! But having Reid as a boyfriend will never allow you to even think about acting like that, so there's nothing to fear…"

"Good."

"Except perhaps Reid killing Casey and Vienna if he sees them baby-talk to each other."

"Oh can you imagine his face?"

"The horror!" Katie said laughing with Luke. And so their conversation went for the rest of the night, trying to figure out what kind of apartment ('or house' Katie insisted) would fit both Reid and Luke. When Luke went to sleep in Reid's bedroom, he was feeling much better about the whole thing with his mom. Maybe once he out in the world on his own, she would realise that he was a grown up and that she needed to let go.

/***************

"Hey" Reid's voice said softly, while he shook Luke awake. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you it's just…"

"It's okay" Luke said half awake. "I know what you meant. Mom's been acting up. We had a huge fight and I brought up both Grandmother and Molly so I don't think I'm welcome there right now."

"Well you can stay here as long as you want"

"Yeah we'll have to talk about that tomorrow actually."

"I start work at 8"

Luke looked at the clock. "But it's 2 am already! Reid don't exhaust yourself like last time!"

Reid rolled his eyes. "I'm not. You and Katie really need to stop being such mother-hens. She had the exact same reaction. I swear you two were made from the same cloth. Now what is this about us having to have a talk"

"Now look who's worried" Luke teased. "It's nothing bad, just something I want to talk to you about."

"Then talk Snyder."

"You need to sleep Reid. And so do I."

"Luke I won't sleep without knowing what you want to talk about. You know I don't like leaving things unfinished before going to bed."

Luke sighed. Yeah, he knew his boyfriend. He'd worry about their discussion all day even though it was nothing bad. He just had this insecurity engrained deep inside of him and some times, like now, it poked its head out, said 'Hello!' and refused to go away. So Luke sat up on the bed and tried to wake himself up some more.

"Katie and I were talking about the situation with my mom and we've come to the decision that I should move out. And Katie thinks that it's not too soon to move out with you and I should discuss the possibility with you"

Reid arched his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you…are you asking me to move in with you Luke."

"Well…I know it's soon…well not that soon…well it is but we've loved each other for quite a while and…"

"Luke, Luke!" Reid interrupted. "Breathe. Just answer me this. Do you want to live with me? Right now, do you feel ready to live with me 24/7, 365 days a year?"

Luke took the time to think about it before answering "Yes. I want to move in with you. I want to be there when you get home and to have to call Katie in desperation because I can't do sandwiches like you want and you're due back home for lunch in 15 minutes and you only have 10 minutes to eat. I want to fight with you ever whether or not we'll be watching a romantic comedy this evening and… and… I just want everything with you. So much"

Reid smiled. "Then it's settled. We're moving in together. We'll have to find a place, preferably not too far; I don't like the idea of leaving Katie all alone. I want her to be able to come to us quickly if there's any problem."

"Oh that shouldn't be a problem" Luke said smiling. "As soon as you leave, Allison will be moving in here. And Katie already put 'quick walkable distance from Katie's house' on the requirement list for our house"

"House?" Reid asked. Luke blushed. "Or apartment if you prefer." Luke said "I thought about renting an apartment at first but Katie said a house would make a better home and she was convincing. You're older than me and she thinks you might want to settle down in one place. And it'd be nice to have something to call our own. And it's not like I don't have the money to buy a house."

"With me" Reid said firmly. "If we buy a house, it's together. I pay half of it and that's not up for discussion Snyder." He added before Luke could cut in. "Our home will be ours completely understand?"

Luke sighed. "Yes I understand. But when your birthday comes I'm using the fact that I'm loaded to spoil you, and I will accept no argument!"

"Luke we've talked about this before"

"No we've argued about this before. I have lots of money and want to spend it on people I love. What's wrong about that?"

"Nothing"

"Then why can't I do things like buy you a motorcycle for our 6 month anniversary?"

Reid raised an eyebrow. "A motorcycle? Do you know how many people need neuro-surgery because of an accident on a motorcycle? How many die and how many are turned into little more than vegetables?"

Luke rolled his eyes. As soon as something somehow related to the medical world was mentioned, Reid did this. He digressed from the first subject and started talking about medicine. "Reid, can you focus on the point I'm trying to make with that example."

"You're not trying to make a point, you're inquiring. There's a difference."

"You're insufferable" Luke told him, a little exasperated.

Reid gave him a kiss and said "I love you too. As for your question, we've already talked about this. First, we have an equal relationship. Yes I'm a brilliant neurosurgeon and I have a good salary, but compare to your fortune it's nothing and it'd feel weird if you were to give me something more expensive than what I can give you back in return"

"Reid, I don't need for you to give me gifts that are expensive. You can buy me a teddy bear and I'd be happy. I'd tease you mercilessly on your newfound degree of cuteness and sappiness but I'd be happy. I don't need to receive; I need to give. It's just part of who I am and when you refuse to let me spoil you, it feels like when…" Luke interrupted himself. He had promised himself he wouldn't bring him up anymore.

"like what?" Reid asked. Luke shook his head. "Like what Luke" Reid insisted strongly.

Luke sighed. "Like when Noah resented me helping out. It was part of who I am. I like taking care of people. Hell, I need to take care of people. Especially those I love and you're the person I love the most. I get that it would make you uncomfortable if I were to buy you something really, really expensive, and I won't do it. I won't buy you a private plane or a yacht or house on a beach in California"

"I sure hope not. I hate the beach. You know how unsanitary the ocean is?" Reid said. Luke rolled his eyes. You can take the doctor out of the hospital, but good luck getting the doctor out of Reid Oliver.

"My point is that spoiling you doesn't mean buying you a house. Although it might mean plane tickets to a destination of our choice so we can go celebrate our anniversary or just travel for the heck of it."

Reid thought about it for a while. That sounded reasonable. Tones of non filthy rich people travelled.

Reid nodded "You're right. This is reasonable. And as long as it's within reason than you can spoil me. Just expect me to spoil you back."

"I'm already spoiled." Luke said looking at Reid with eyes filled with love.

"Right back at you Snyder" Reid said, kissing his boyfriend and settling down to get a good night sleep. He needed to get up early in the morning, which normally wouldn't have stopped him from staying awake to spend time with Luke, since they didn't see each other often recently, but now it wasn't an issue. Soon, he'd get to go home to Luke every night. Reid wrapped his arms around Luke and brought him close to his body. He could get use to having this every night. Oh yes, he really could, he thought, falling asleep with a smile.

/

Hoped you liked! Don't know when I'll update but if you go to the Lure community on livejournal, you'll find this story and the chapter summaries of all the chapters so it will be easier to follow up when the memory of this story is a little far away!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: ****If I owned it, I wouldn't be mourning Reid's death for over a year now.**

**AN:**** No I'm not dead! My muse was though. I started having less inspiration after Reid's death 'cause it upset me so much and then my muse left for pretty much every fic I had. I wrote some things here and there, but that's it. Now, I'm back with a chapter! And I included chapter summaries for those who don't want to re-read everything! If you don't want the summaries, scroll down the page!**

**Chapter summaries: (contains spoilers of the chapters 'cause I may be too explicit)****  
**1. Katie worries about Reid, and is told by Allison that her best friend has been working triple shifts. In the meantime, Reid, who decided to do nothing else but work after Luke left him over the whole ultimatum thing, start feeling the consequences of this lifestyle and falls unconscious in the stairs

2. Katie, Allison and Chris discover the extent to which Reid went to not think about Luke aka he's crazily overworked and underfed. They discover the ultimatum and what happened to Reid. Katie panicks while in shock 'cause he may need neurosurgery. Alli and Casey go to warn Luke

**3.** Luke's reaction to the news of something happening to the man he loves. We also see how Luke has been handling the seperation from his side and his reaction to seeing REid again and how Alli,, and the other nurses are not handling what happened to him well. Plus Luke gives Bob a piece of his mind! (**That's a chapter I would read again if I were you...just saying)******

4. Luke has a heart felt one-sided conversation with Reid, who is in a coma still. Then Reid wake up (and of course complain that Doogie is the one treating him...in lights of what happened in August and Sept on the show, I would more than agree...when I wrote this I didn't hate and loath Chris with every fiber of my being yet...but I digress )

5. The next 2 weeks. Katie and Luke visit, Reid is being difficult and stubborn, Luke blurts out he loves Reid without noticing, and REid discovers Allison was the one leaving him food when he wasn't eating and overworking and how his nurses actually care and worry about him thanks to the cards they send him. Oh Bob also receive a very freezing reactions form the nurses who banned him from their department.

6. Luke feels guilty, Katie talks to him, he and Reid talk about the ultimatum and Luke tells Reid what he had told him while in the coma. They decide they're officially dating.

7. Bob finally wakes up and apologize. Reid explodes and let out some of the things he had kept inside when Luke brings up Noah. Luke runs out crying.

**8.** Reid is caught leaving his room by Allison and since KAtie is absent, spills his guts about the fight he just had with Luke. Allison agrees with him and gives Luke a harsh wake up call about his relationship with Noah and how bad it was. **(I really would read this one if I were you) ****  
**  
9. Katie leaves Jacob with Reid for some "baby therapy" since Reid hasn't heard from Luke since the fight 3 days ago. Katie checks up on Luke and make him talk about what's going on. Then they go see Reid at the hospital.  
10. The resolution of the fight. Luke and Reid talk about many issues and Luke explain his past actions and reaction and talks about how things were with Noah and how it affected him **(Seriously, READ THIS CHAPTER)****  
**11. The next few weeks. Include a discussion with Alli about Luke and Reid's intimate life. Reid follows through on his word and go talk to Jack about what it's like to live with an alcoholic, things with Lily start going bad after Nat says she wants to be a surgeon like Reid, and Reid proposes to go meet Luke's dad to cheer him up and finds an ally in Molly.

12. Luke fights with Lily, bringing two difficult subject for her and making things with her very difficult. After talking to Katie, it's decided that Luke will look for an apartment or house to go live with Reid. Reid and Luke talk about Luke buying him expensive things.

**CHAPTER 13**

"So?" Katie asked when Luke got out of Reid's bedroom the next morning. "Did you talk to Reid?"

"Yep" Luke said, still half-asleep.

"Ah. I figured you did when you were still asleep at 11am. I mean since I wasn't woken up by a certain enthusiastic screamer"

Luke blushed. "That happened only once Katie. Will you ever let me live it down?"

"Sure" she answered. Luke sighed in relief. "Once I find something else to embarrass you about" she continued, smiling. Luke groaned.

"Wow. You even groan like Reid now."

"Says the girl who used three Allison-created expressions in one single conversation with me yesterday."

"Well, I do spend a lot of time with her recently, with the whole Vienna thing."

"How is Alli handling it?"

"Better than she was. She's been working a lot to distract herself and keep an eye on Reid at the same time. But I think she's finally ready to truly move on from her relationship with Casey."

"Good. Now, house-hunting! Feeling up to it?"

"You bet I do. And **house**-hunting?" Katie said raising an eyebrow. Luke rolled his eyes.

"What? You want me to tell you, you were right and that Reid agrees that a house is better than an apartment?"

" It'd be nice!"

"Well you can forget it. I'm not saying it. Even if you pout Katie. I have enough of Reid making me tell him he was right" he précised at his friend's expression.

Katie smiled. "Fine, if you won't, your boyfriend will." She took her cell out and dialled Reid's number. She put him on speaker.

"Katie, I'm busy at the hospital."

"I know. Just tell me I was right."

"You were right…."

"Now tell your boyfriend I was right" Katie swore she heard the eye roll going on at the other end of the conversation.

"Luke, Katie was right. What was she right about?"

"About us needing a house not an apartment."

"huh uh. Luke, next time just tell her she's right okay? I'll see you tonight?"

"Not going anywhere" Luke replied. He had no intention of coming within 10 feet of his mother's house.

"Good. Now Katie, can I go back to my oh so fascinating job of clinic duties now?"

"sure! Have fun!"

Luke looked at Katie speechless. If there was one person he had imagined would not admit when someone else is right, it was Reid.

"How did you do that? I'm the one who always has to tell Reid he was right, even when I still don't think he is!"

"Who do you think taught him how to do that? I've got my roommate trained well. Oh I'm gonna miss him so much. I'll have to start all over again with Allison."

"Good luck with that!" Luke exclaimed. "You might have just met your match, Katie"

"We'll see. Now what were you saying about house-hunting? Remember, 'quick walkable distance from Katie's home' is a requirement. "

"I know. Reid doesn't want to be far either. But it will make things more complicated. There aren't that many houses available, that are close to here."

It turned out, Luke was right. They had visited all the houses on sell and some apartments too but they hadn't found anything that was both close to Katie's home and to Luke's liking. He just couldn't find a house where he felt at home. At the end of the day, Luke was exasperated and exhausted. This was hell. And what was worst is that he'd have to go back to his mother's place.

"Well this was a fun day!" Katie said, smiling. Luke glared at her. "You still have much improvement to do if you plan on scaring me away with that glare, mini-Grumpy Bear!"

Luke looked at her in confusion. "Mini-Grumpy Bear?"

"Well, Reid is definitively the Papa Grumpy bear because he does it much better than you so yeah mini Grumpy Bear or would you rather Grumpy Bear Jr."

Luke looked at her, horrified. "Papa Grumpy Bear? Jr? Never and I mean NEVER say anything that makes it sound like Reid is my father ever again! Please!" Luke said, a strong disgusted shiver ran through his body.

"Ah so you don't have a daddy kink then?" She teased.

Luke choke "No I don't and please never ask me that again either. Geez Katie….Seriously? A daddy kink? After how my biological father was?"

Katie winced "Ouch. Sorry. I was just teasing you. I know you're not into that sort of thing although a doctor kink wouldn't surprise me!" Luke blushed bright red. "Ah! I'm right! Does Reid know?"

"Uhm….no. We're not….we're not doing the whole kinks thing yet and really we don't need to be so no need to tell Reid about any of this, ok?"

"Why? I'm sure in the end it would be very profitable for you if Reid knew. You could play doctor." She said, waggling her eyebrows….uhm….didn't Allison do the exact same thing the other day? Really those two kept picking up each other's little habits.

"If I play doctor, it's gonna be on my terms and I say not now. I'm more than fine with what we've been doing."

"Trust me. My ears are well aware of that. You're lucky Jacob is such a heavy sleeper or you'd have one really moody baby to deal with after being woken up by such traumatizing sounds." Once again, Luke blushed at his friend's teasing.

"Anyway, don't despair about the house Luke. I have a friend that's knows a lot about what's going on in Oakdale and might know of other houses that are on sale."

Luke sighed. "Yeah but I doubt it."

"Come on! We haven't done all the houses. Let me talk to him and then if it doesn't work out, we'll look at apartments and you'll buy a house later on."

"Alright"

Katie could tell her friend was sad that he didn't find a house that day but those things took times. You almost never find the right house on the first time visiting. It's a little like boyfriends. You have to try different one before finding the one that really fits with you. Like Brad, she thought sadly. He was her home and losing him was like having this constant phantom limb. But she had to admit that things had gotten much better now that she had Reid, Allison and Luke in her life. She doesn't know how she would have handle things without them. Allison in particular had been a real comfort recently. It was going to be fun having the younger woman as a roommate. Not that Reid wasn't fun but Luke and him were a couple now; they needed their intimacy….and she needed her ears to remain unsullied. Or at least not to get any worse because seriously hearing the man you love as a bother having sex is right up there with traumatizing experience of witnessing your parents having sex. The less said about that, the better.

That night, when Luke had told Reid about the unsuccessful house hunting, the older man had just smiled at him, kissed him and then said "What did you expect? For it to simply fall in your lap the first time around. These things take time. Don't worry we'll find something. If worse come to worse, we can always simply relocate ourselves and Katie and Jacob to Texas!" He said, joking, which earned him a slap on the chest by Luke.

The next day, just as she had said, Katie contacted her friend and told her about looking for a house big enough for two, that could accommodate visitors (since the Snyder clan was a big one and Luke's siblings might want to stay over sometimes) and that was close to her house. Three days later, he had come back with a huge smile on his face.

"You're going to love me" he said that morning "I talked to an ex-girlfriend of mine who's a real estate agent and has access to information that no else does and she's found you the perfect house. It's a block away, has a nice antique feel to it, is big enough for the Snyder clan to come and visit and has a nice backyard for kids"

"Where did she find that? I thought we'd have to settle for something away from my house!"

"Well….there was this elderly couple that absolutely loved that house. That house has seen them through every important step of their life: their wedding, the birth of their children, their children's wedding. It really was the family home you know. But now the old man has died and his wife just can't handle being in that house. She's going to move in with her daughter in another city but she cares so much about that house that she gave my friend very specific demands as to whom can buy it. That's why there's no poster in front of the house. My ex's job is to do a screening process with potential buyers and show the house only to those who meet the criteria and agree to meet with the old woman so she can accept to sell them the house. Let me tell you, this has been one of the hardest job she's ever had."

"No kidding"

"Yes. Certain things she asked for was that it had to be the couple's first house and they have to have the intention at the time to keep it for the rest of their lives. The couple needs to be deeply in love and ready to spend the rest of their lives together just like she and her husband were. They have to meet with her and be absolutely in love with the house or she won't sell. But knowing the little I know about Luke, if he falls in love with it…."

"He'll really fall in love with it and he won't want to leave, which will meet the old woman's requirement. This is perfect! I have a very good feeling about this. People normally love Luke so I'm sure there won't be a problem with meeting the elderly woman."

"What about his partner?"

Katie grimaced. "Reid is….less of a guarantee. You either love him or you hate him. But you have to be blind or Lily Walsh not to see how deeply he loves Luke. If she's looking for a couple devoted to each other, I think she'll find what she wants in them."

"Good. I'll tell my ex to contact you then!"

"Thank you so much. Tell you what, I'll buy you diner tomorrow for this!"

Katie couldn't wait to tell Luke the good news. She had a really good feeling about this for some reason. Probably woman intuition.

"Luke, you won't believe what my friend told me!"

"What? Did he find a house?" Luke asked, happily surprised at his friend's expression. Apparently, she had found something good.

"Yes. It's perfect. It's a beautiful house with a big backyard. It's a block from here…"

"Really? How come we didn't see it?"

"It's not announced as being on sale. The elderly woman who's selling it had very precise criteria that the buyers need to meet and she doesn't want to go through the screening process herself so she asked her real estate agent to question couples she meets and let only those she believe meet the requirement visit the house. Now one condition is that you have to meet with the woman who's selling the house. I'm sure she'll have questions for you."

"Well what kind of buyers is she looking for?" he asked worriedly. Would Reid and he meet her criteria?

"The couple needs to be deeply in love, together for the long haul, be in love with the house, and have the intention of keeping it for the rest of their lives. And I'm sure she needs to get a good impression of the couple."

Luke grimaced. "Reid….is not the best at first impression"

"True. But he does obviously love you. If she's looking for a couple who loved each other as much as her husband and she did, then I think you might have good chances. You might not have been dating for long, but your love is true and profound."

"Well, I guess we won't know unless we try. I just hope if she doesn't sell to us that I won't be in love with the house or I'll be really sad."

"If you're in love with the house, chances are she'll sell. She hasn't had a lot of potential buyers and she really wants to leave. It's too hard for her after losing her husband."

"Ok. When can we visit?"

"The real estate said anytime is good so I confirmed for Saturday since Reid has the day off."

"Alright"

That night, when Reid got home, he was welcomed by a very enthusiastic Katie and excited Luke. Reid, however, wasn't that excited. He wasn't very good with people. Actually, most of the time, he made people run the other way. So meeting with an old woman probably very set in her ways, wasn't the best situation for him. But Luke really wanted to visit the house with him and he really couldn't say no and disappoint his boyfriend. That's how, on a Saturday morning, instead of being sleeping in, he was standing in front of a very beautiful door, on a very beautiful house.

"Wow. It really looks great!" Luke said, knocking on the door. Katie was right. There was an antique feel to it. It also looked very homey, which was exactly what Luke was looking for. Some of the more modern houses he had visited left him cold. But this one….he had a good feeling about this one. And it was big. There was plenty of place for people to visit. It was a large house and had two floors.

"It does, though personally, I'd be happy with anything….as long as there's a nice kitchen."

"Yes, yes, I know. You need a kitchen big enough to move around and cook and to have a big fridge." Luke said rolling his eyes. His boyfriend and food!

"Hello." An old lady said opening the door.

"Hello Mrs. Connelly. My name is Luke Snyder and this is my partner Reid Oliver."

Reid stood there, saying nothing. Luke elbowed him."What? uhm I mean…glad to meet you" Reid said awkwardly.

"Reid, relax. She's not going to eat you" Luke whispered to his tense boyfriend.

"I'm relaxed"

"No, you're awkward."

"Luke. You know I'm socially awkward. This is a social situation, what did you expect? I don't do meeting people."

"Oh hush, you met my father and Molly, and Carly and Jack and everything went fine!"

"Yes, but I was awkward at those meeting too"

Suddenly realising that they've left the poor woman just standing there, Luke apologized. "I'm really sorry about this Mrs. Connelly." Luke said turning towards her only to find a huge grin on her face.

"There's no problem, dear. My Herbert was just the same. Couldn't get him out of the house without him getting awkward and insecure. Never liked meeting new people. My, you should have seen him the first time he met my parents. You're young man has nothing on him. Now come inside"

The feeling of awe Luke had felt outside doubled. This was so beautiful. There was a lot of wood. Wood separations with beautiful carvings, hard wood floors, wood stairs to go upstairs….there was a beautiful antique stone fireplace. The living room and dining room were gorgeous and Luke said so.

"Yes. It's nice." Reid replied.

Luke snorted. "Which in your language means you love it!"

" If you want to see the kitchen or the bedrooms…."Mrs Connelly started.

"Kitchen?" Reid asked, like a little kid. Him and his food.

"I believe, Mrs Connelly, you just said the magic word. Actually, anything referring to food is a magic word with Reid!" added before following Reid in the kitchen.

"My Herbert was just the same" Mrs. Connelly whispered to herself.

"Have you seen this kitchen? Wow! I can see myself making so many sandwiches here!"

"Lord, I can't believe it's a kitchen that makes you act like a kid in a candy store. Although it's a beautiful kitchen." 'with real wood panel for the kitchen cabinets and cupboards' Luke thought. 'Very different from the white panels in the other houses.'

Next, they visited the bedrooms downstairs and upstairs, as well as the bathrooms. The one downstairs was pretty with a nice shower but ordinary. The one next to the master bedroom however had a huge bubble bath where Luke and Reid could fit together just fine, plus a shower. Luke loved the bubble bath.

"My son George bought that for us when we started getting old and having aches all over the place. It was a very nice gift. I'm sure young people like you two would enjoy it immensely…although probably in a very different manner than my Herbert and I did. We were a little too old for that if you know what I mean." She said, making Luke blush as many different scenarios of what she could be implying played in his mind.

And finally, there was the backyard. It was breathtaking. And HUGE compared to the backyards of more recent Oakdale houses. And there was enough places to fit an in-ground pool.

"Beautiful isn't" The elderly lady said.

"Yes it is but…" Luke bit his lip. "Would you…would you be opposed to an in-ground pool being put? I know how important this house is for you and I don't want to do something to it that you would think is bad, it's just Reid has this thing about ponds and rivers, and beaches being unsanitary, he's a doctor you see, so having a pool would allow me to share my love for swimming with him without traumatizing him with germs."

"I'm not traumatized….I just don't like the idea of swimming in disgusting water."

"Oh dear" The old woman said, emotion getting the best of her. "It is so thoughtful of you to ask my opinion."

"That's my Luke" Reid said.

"An in-ground pool would be lovely. Especially if you take one with a nice stone path to it. There would already be one here you know, if we could have afforded it. But in my time, it wasn't well seen for women to work. Didn't stop me any but it meant there wasn't many places where I could get employed. And neither my husband and I had had the chance to do much studying. You can't be a doctor without education. But we worked out and provided for our children and manage by some miracle to sent them all to university. But to do that, it meant making sacrifice and my dream of a pool was one of the many. So do an old woman a favour and put your dream pool right here once you move in and sent me pictures of what it looks like."

"Of course, no problem." Luke said then paused. "Wait does this mean…are you agreeing to sell the house to us?"

smiled. "Oh dear, there wasn't any doubt in my mind about that as soon as I saw you two with each other and how you looked at my house. I'm an old woman who had her one true love. I know how to recognize it when I see it. You remind us so much of my Herbert and I. I'm sure you'll have the best years of your life in this house just like we did."

"Wow Reid. We have a house!" Luke exclaimed, kissing Reid softly. They had a house! And the perfect house at that! He couldn't wait to move in and show it to everyone else!

AN: I really hope that you loved this chapter! (actually I hope someone reads it period! It's been so long) If you've read it, please, please REVIEW. It really helps to have comments. And put me on story alert 'cause I could update soon or in a long time. My muse is extremely fleeting and difficult (as you well know since it's been over a year since I last updated this fic. So sorry to everyone who liked it!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ATWT because I would never have been stupid or cruel enough to kill Reid….Bitter? who me?

AN: Here is the next chapter! I hope you like it. If you do, please review!

**Chapter 14**

"You got a house! Really?" Allison exclaimed as Luke told her the good news. Katie had told her all about Luke and her looking for a house together and how badly that had gone. "Wow. Last I heard you had gone to all the houses on sale around here and disliked them and all of a sudden you're making a deposit on a house with . Did you change your mind about a house?"

"No, not at all. Katie knew this guy who knew this woman who's a real estate agent, and it turns out that the agent had a house on sale that wasn't announced anywhere because the old woman who owned it had very precise criteria she wanted to see in the potential buyers. So Reid and I went to visit the house and the elderly woman this week-end and signed on the house today."

"Wow. That means you met her criteria."

"uhm uhm" Luke nodded, sipping his milkshake. Allison and he had decided to go out, just the two of them. "I was a little nervous since Reid tends not to make the best first impression…."

"No kidding" interrupted his friend, snorting.

"but it turned out that her late husband Herbert was as socially inept as Reid. I think it played in our favour. I think she wanted to find people for whom the house would mean as much as it did for her late husband and herself. And she did. Oh Lord Alli, you should see that house. I couldn't have dreamt for a better house than this one. It's perfect. "

"It must have been hard for the old lady to leave after all these years."

"Yes. She loved that house so much I felt I needed to have her permission to add a pool."

"Really?" It surprised her although it really shouldn't. Luke was very sensitive towards others and always wanted to please people. "Did she give it?"

"Yeah. Turns out it was one of her dreams but they never could afford it. I promised to send her pictures when the pool is done."

"Aww. That's so nice of you. I'm sure that means a lot to that woman. Plus, finally you'll have a place where you can swim with Reid without him having a minor freak out!" Both friends laughed at that. It was kind of cute how Reid disliked unsanitary water.

"Soooooo….when do I get to see that dream house of yours?" Allison was excited. Her friend's eyes had lit up when he had talked about the house. She couldn't wait to see it. Plus, Luke moving in the house meant she would get to move in with Katie and she couldn't wait for that either. The older woman was such a joy to be around and such a comfort too. She knew Reid and Katie were close and the separation would be hard on Katie but she intended to be there for the other woman every step of the way just like Katie had been for her about Casey.

"Well….since the house had been on sale for a while, everything was pretty much ready for the sale already so we're moving in this weekend. You are, of course, expected to be there and help us move in."

"I'll be happy to. Tell you what. How about I help you start packing your things today. This way, you won't have to confront Lily on your own."

Luke suddenly frowned. He had been so excited about the house and moving in with Reid, he had completely forgotten about the situation with his mother. Oh Lord. How was he supposed to tell her he was not only moving in with a man she disapproved of but actually buying a house with him? Buying a house with someone was a big step; it showed how serious Luke and Reid's relationship is. While he hoped with all his heart that that would show his mother Reid wasn't a phase and maybe help her realise just how important Reid was to her son, he doubted it. If anything, it would make her even more furious and determined to make Luke break things off with Reid.

"You had forgotten about your mother hadn't you?"

"Completely" Luke said dismayed. "God, Allison, what am I gonna do? We got into a huge fight last time I saw her and now I'll be announcing that I'm leaving the house for good, and that I'm moving in my own house with Reid. I have absolutely no idea how she'll react."

"uhm. Maybe packing today is not the brightest idea. We need to think of a plan to make things as smooth as possible. Do you think...Do you think maybe your dad could talk to her about you moving out? I mean, she hasn't been acting towards you as if you're an adult and nothing you did to try and make her understand you're an adult worked. Maybe your dad can talk some sense into her. I'm sure he has loads of experience as to how to deal with your mother. I mean, beside your dad, the only one who could do it would be your grandmother but considering their issues, it might make things even worse."

"Very true. As much as I love grandmother Lucinda, I'm not involving her in this. Uh. You know I've just realized it's not just my mom I need to announce my moving out to. I have to tell the whole family. I'm not even sure grandmother knows about Reid at all. What if they think we're moving in together too soon? We haven't even been dating for a year."

"Who says you need a year before living with someone? Plus, you just spent the last couple of months basically living with Katie and Reid. It won't be that surprising. Besides, some people get married after dating for four months."

"Yeah…"

"Uhm. Somehow, I get the feeling if Dr. Oliver were here he'd says something like 'especially in Oakhell' " Luke and Allison started laughing. Reid would definitively say something like that. It was true that people in Oakdale tended to marry often. Just look at Luke's parents. How many times had they been married? And divorced?

"You know what Alli, I think your idea has some merit. I'll go talk to dad today. But before that, let's spend some quality time together!"

Luke was sitting at the kitchen table at the Snyder farm, waiting for his dad and Molly to get here.

"Luke hey" His father said as he entered the house. "What are you doing here? Did something happen with your mother? Molly told me Lily hasn't been very accepting of you and Reid."

Luke scoffed. "That's an understatement Dad. We had a huge fight last week. I've been staying with Katie and Reid ever since. And now something new has come up and I need to go back to the house and tell mom something important that will make her completely freak out."

"What is it? Is it something serious?" Holden asked worriedly.

"It isn't something bad Dad. Quite the opposite. There's actually two parts. One, I'm not going to live at mom's anymore and two, I've bought a house with Reid and we're moving in this weekend."

"You….You bought a house?" Holden asked surprised. Sure he knew the doctor and his son were serious in their relationship but he hadn't thought they would be doing things so quickly. Then again, Reid was older than Luke; Holden could understand his wanting to settle down. "Well that's… that's great, son. Congratulations!" He said giving his son a hug.

"What are we congratulating Luke about, honey?" Molly asked, entering the house.

"Reid and I have just bought a house."

Molly's face lit up. "That's amazing news!" She exclaimed, hugging her soon to be step-son. "I'm so happy for you Luke. You and Reid deserve the best." Then her smile went away. "Oh. How did Lily handle that?" She asked, fearing the answer. Lily….well Lily and she didn't like each other for many reasons, but Molly could have gone pass that for Holden and the children's sake. However, she personally thought Lily was acting absolutely ridiculous and cruel towards Luke. He was a grown up. A young grown up but a grown up nonetheless. She had to let him live his life. Plus, how in the world could the other woman not see how Reid was so much better for Luke than that Noah had been. Honestly. Molly had had her fair bit of unhealthy relationships; she knew how to recognize one when she saw one and Luke and Noah screamed unhealthy.

"Actually, it's why I'm here. I was wondering if maybe you could try to talk to her, Dad. At least to try and make her accept I'm moving out. I know she doesn't like Reid and disagrees with me dating him but I feel that my moving out would be a problem even if I wasn't moving in with Reid so…."

"Sure. I'll talk to your mother. Don't worry Luke. Things will settle down. Maybe this will make her realize how serious Reid and you are towards each other and help her accept him." Holden said, offering Luke a smile. Molly frowned. There he was thinking the best about Lily again. Personally, she doubted this is what would happen and by Luke's expression, she wasn't the only one in doubt. If Lily continued like this, she'd have destroyed most relationships with her children. Faith had had issues with Lily for some time, Nathalie was angry with her over her non-acceptance of Reid and making Luke sad and now Luke dreaded having to talk to her. Most of Lily Walsh children were closer to Molly than to her and it wouldn't change anytime soon if that woman didn't wake the hell up! Molly really hoped that Lily wouldn't get her claws on Luke. She could really hurt him. Hopefully, she'd go with the ignorance technique. It would hurt Luke sure but not as much as if she opened her mouth and ranted at him.

"Thanks Dad. I really don't know how to talk to her right now."

"It'll be okay son. I promise."

That night, Holden Snyder went to his ex-wife house to talk to her. He hoped things would go well. He was in for a disappointment.

"Hello Lily. I was wondering if we could talk."

"Of course Holden. Come on in. What did you want to talk about?"

"Luke"

Automatically, Lily's smile disappeared. "What about Luke" She said coldly, crossing her arms on her chest. 'Alright, that wasn't a good start…' Holden thought.

"Luke told me about your recent…disagreement and… uhm… it made him think about many things, one of which being that as he is an adult now, so it might be the time for him to spread his wings for good" Holden and Luke had had a long discussion about everything that had went on with Lily and what he could tell her.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning he feels ready to live his life as an adult and that means moving out for good this time. No more coming back. He's ready to settle down. And I personally agree with him that it's a good move. Luke has been through so much in his young life that he's older in his head than most people his age and most people his age are not living with their parents anymore. I think it's time."

"What are you not telling me? Why isn't Luke telling me this?"

"Well" Holden started, feeling a little uneasy. "After the big fight you had last time, he's not really sure how to go about talking to you anymore. I think he was scared of your reactions. He feels that you haven't been treating him like an adult lately and might not see him moving as something positive and necessary."

Lily looked at Holden attentively. No. There was more than that.

"There's more than that Holden. You're not telling me everything." And then suddenly, it clicked. "No! No! Tell me it's not what I think! Tell me my son isn't thinking about moving in with that…that…man!"

"Lily…" Holden started.

"No! I forbid it! He will not be moving in with that Dr. Oliver."

"Forbid it!" Holden exclaimed, getting riled up. "Lily! Are you listening to yourself? Our son is an adult. We do not have any say in how he lives his life. He can make decisions by himself. Like I said, he's been through a lot and that made him grow up. He knows what he wants. This isn't a phase! This isn't a teenager playing the rebel by disobeying his parents' wishes. This is an adult who is moving in with the man he loves and who loves him back."

"They don't love each other! Luke still loves Noah and that_**man**_ is not capable of love." She said, a high level of disgust thrown in with the word 'man'. "Obviously, Dr. Oliver has manipulated our son into thinking he likes him. I don't know how he did it but I'm not letting him continue!"

Holden was shocked. He didn't even know what to say to that.

"Lily….I've met Reid Oliver and I can tell you that no one loves our son Luke as much as him. They're completely in love with each other and if you don't let go of this….Lily…Luke was too scared to come talk to you. Our son was scared of you, of your reaction. Is that how you want Luke to see you? As someone who is denying him the little bit of happiness he's found? I don't know why you dislike Reid Oliver so much but whatever it is, get over it! Because our daughter Nathalie is already angry at you over all the fights you had with Luke and Luke is scared of you…is that the kind of relationship you want to have with your children? Is that the relationship you want with your son? A relationship even more strained than the one you have with your own mother? I've often heard you complain about Lucinda treating you like a child and thinking you can't make your own decisions. What does it say that our son has now the same complain about you?" Holden asked, leaving his ex-wife to her thoughts. Maybe he had been harsh with her but this couldn't continue like this. She was hurting Luke and Holden would do everything to protect his son's happiness.

Lily Walsh had had a bad night. Her ex-husband had pissed her off. How dare he? Who was he to judge her relationship with her children? And why couldn't he realise that she was simply protecting her oldest son? Obviously, Reid Oliver was not the man for their Luke. How could anyone think he was? Well, obviously Molly would. They were cut from the same cloth. Nothing good ever come with them. No. Her son would not be moving in with Reid Oliver. She would talk some sense into him. She would….Lily paused. Luke and she weren't on speaking terms. Obviously, he was in some rebel state. His mother's word wouldn't matter to him. No. She needed someone whose opinion was important to Luke. Someone Luke listened to….a friend….or….of course. Noah would know what to do. Noah's opinion had always been important to Luke. Yes. He was perfect. He would talk some sense into her baby.

Noah Meyer was mad and completely shocked. What in the world was his ex thinking? First kissing Dr. Oliver, which was bad enough, but now he was actually moving in with the guy? Crazy. Noah hadn't wanted to talk to Luke after the way Luke had betrayed him, but obviously someone needed to set him straight. Enough was enough. He had let Luke go to Oliver, letting him experience first hand how awful a relationship with the guy would be. Noah wanted Luke to learn his lesson. Then, maybe Noah would forgive him and they would be back together. But not before Luke had apologized and admitted his wrong doing. He couldn't believe Luke! Moving in with Oliver! Was he completely stupid or what? Did he really think Oliver loved him? Loved him like Noah loved him? Surely he wasn't that foolish…then again….Noah shook his head. Sometimes Luke could be so painfully naïve. Obviously, Luke needed someone to think for him. Thank goodness Lily had contacted him. They couldn't let Luke commit this travesty.

Luke didn't know what to do. Noah had just texted him, saying that he needed to see him urgently. He really didn't know what to do. Was he really ready to face Noah after everything? His relationship with Noah had been difficult and had hurt a lot. It was so easy with Reid in comparison. He didn't have to be afraid of Reid's reaction although he did feel fear at the moment. But it wasn't because he thought Reid would blow his top if he met Noah or make him feel guilty or anything like that. No. It was just an instinctual reaction leftover from his relationship with Noah. He still had issues but maybe talking to Noah would help. Maybe Luke could take this opportunity to have a serious talk with Noah about what went wrong in their relationship. Then again, maybe not. Casey still wasn't talking to Noah, which could indicate that the other boy hadn't changed his opinion yet. But then, why contact Luke at all? Did something bad happen? Obviously, it was something important. Luke was indecisive. On one hand he still cared about Noah and wanted to make sure everything was okay, on the other hand, he was terrified as to how things would go. Luke sighed. He didn't know if he could handle it if things went bad. In any case, he had to tell Reid about this. He had been looking at his phone for the last 15 minutes. Reid was in his lunch break so this was the perfect time but still he hesitated. 'Stop it Luke.' Luke thought to himself. 'This isn't Noah! Everything will be fine.' Luke took his phone and dialled Reid's number.

"Hey Reid!" Luke said with a falsely happy voice.

"What's wrong Luke?" Reid asked concerned. Something was wrong in his boyfriend's voice. Something was clearly upset. Did Lily do something?

Luke let out a small nervous laugh. "You know me so well. Uhm. Listen, I just got a text from Noah saying he needed to see me urgently and..uhm..I wanted to tell you and ask you if…"

"Luke" Reid interrupted. "You don't have to ask me for permission to talk to Mayer. Do I like the guy? No. Do I like the idea of you being with him in any way, shape or form? No. Do I have the right to say anything about you meeting him? No. I'm not your keeper. I'm your boyfriend and as much as I dislike the idea of you going to see Mayer, I accept it. You told me before you wanted to stay friends with him. And yes, we've fought about it. However, that was some time ago. Things have changed. I'm not insecure about Noah Mayer anymore. I know who you love and who you have a good relationship with and that person's name doesn't start with a N."

Luke let out a relieved sigh. "I know. I just….I was worrying over nothing. I knew you wouldn't get angry with me, it's just…."

"You're used to your boyfriend doing so. I know."

"Yeah"

"My only concern is whether or not you're ready to talk to Noah or not. You told me some time ago that you weren't. I don't want you to go there only to get hurt Luke."

"I…I can't guarantee that won't happen because I have no idea what this is about but I do know I'm much stronger than I was back then. You make me strong Reid. I won't let him walk all over me anymore. I'm no one's doormat and I think it's time Noah knows that. I'll go meet him. I just….just be prepared for me not being top shape tonight. It could turn ugly."

"Don't worry. I'll be ready for that eventuality." Well, actually, _**they **_would be ready because he had every intention on telling Allison and Katie about this meeting. If it went badly, the three of them would be needed in order to cheer Luke up.

"All right. I love you Dr. Oliver." Luke said.

"Love you too Mr. Snyder"

Luke Snyder was nervous. He was meeting with Noah after many months of not seeing him and them fighting the last time they had seen each other.

"Luke!"

Luke turned around and his heart started beating faster…..because of the intense wave of stress hitting him once he saw Noah's angry face. Oh this was going to be bad. 'Be strong Luke. You can do this!' Luke thought.

"What in the world are you thinking? Are you completely stupid?"

Luke frowned. "No actually Noah, I'm not stupid. Can I know what this is about? No wait let me guess, this is about Reid."

"Reid?" Noah said nastily.

"Well yeah. I can't very well call my boyfriend Dr. Oliver all the time, can I?" Luke tried to joke….failing miserably. Oh this wasn't going to go well.

"Boyfriend? I doubt he thinks so."

"Actually he does" Luke answered carefully, not quite knowing what Noah was trying to say.

"Oh sure, he tells you he does but to him, you're just someone he can manipulate. This latest development just proved it."

"And what development is that exactly?" Luke asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Going to live together? Why do you think that is? A place where he doesn't have to pay and can get someone to do whatever he wants! Talk about paradise."

Luke was shocked. How did Noah even know Reid and he were moving in together? "Noah! When you know nothing of something, you're better not to talk about it!"

"What you think he loves you? He probably likes the cash and an easy lay!"

"Excuse me?" Luke said, getting mad. "Wow is that what you think of me? Someone whose only worth is his money and sex. Well, geeze Noah, thank you so much. It's so good to finally know the truth. Wow, I wonder why we're broken up." Luke said sarcastically.

"Well it is why we're broken up. If you weren't so stupid as to fall for Oliver's manipulation, we'd still be together!"

"Really? That's funny because I distinctively remember asking you whether it was all or nothing and you choosing nothing. I remember breaking up with you months before Reid and I got together. We broke up because we clearly weren't in love with each other anymore."

Noah was shocked. "Is that what Oliver makes you believe?"

"Nobody makes me believe anything. This is what happened. Because you see Noah, something I've learned with Reid is that, if you really are in love with someone, you don't hold him responsible for something bad happening to you, you don't keep pushing him away and you don't treat him like shit!"

"I never treated you like shit!"

"Well you certainly made me feel like it. Everything was my fault when we were together Noah. Hell, forget when we were together. It's still my fault now, only now I'm sharing the blame with Reid. Have you ever stopped to think that it takes two to tango and that you were as much at fault as me?"

Noah was so angry that he didn't know what to say.

"Look Noah. I didn't come here to fight." Luke said, calming himself down. This wasn't going anywhere. "Just say what you wanted to tell me and go."

"I wanted to talk some sense into you!"

"About buying a house with Reid? Why? It doesn't concern you."

"I still love you, Luke."

"You've got a funny way of showing it, telling me I'm stupid."

"You're acting like it!"

"How? How is it stupid to move in with the man I love and who loves me back."

"He doesn't love you back!" Noah exclaimed. Couldn't Luke see that!

"So what? You think he's with me for a free place and sex, that's it?" Noah's silence answered Luke's question. "Right. That's why Reid insisted he pays half the house and half the pool. That's why Reid was ready to wait for me for however long I needed before having sex with me. Get real Noah!"

"No you should get real! Okay so Oliver pays half. Doesn't mean he loves you. Doesn't mean he'll stick around when you start pulling shit! What you think he'll stay when you start drinking again? Or kissing another grandfather of yours! I stayed because I love you. Someone lesser wouldn't have stayed through all your shit!"

Luke looked at Noah in disbelief, hurt filling him. He couldn't believe Noah would bring his alcoholism. "Reid loves me for whom and what I am, Noah. He knows I'm an alcoholic and you know what? He didn't run scared. He went to talk to Carly and Jack and is prepared to go to meetings to learn how to be there for me. Just because you don't think I'm worth anything and you don't think that I'm loveable or that someone can love me with all my faults, doesn't mean everybody else thinks like that" Luke said, tears falling down his cheeks. He couldn't believe Noah thought so low of him.

"That's not what I said" Noah said angrily.

"It's what you implied! You know Noah, I used to think you had genuinely loved me. That we both had loved each other and that with time that had gone away with all the problems and fights we had. I knew I was the one in the relationship always giving everything to the other. I knew I was always the one blamed for everything although we were both to blame but this…"

"Look, Luke, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I don't need someone to look out for me. I'm with Reid now, not with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you've hurt me more than anyone else before, repeatedly and that when I was with you, I could have used someone looking out for me. You made me feel like shit while Reid makes me feel like I'm the greatest person in the world. You and I weren't good for each other. Reid and I are."

"You're…..I can't even say!" Noah said. He couldn't believe how badly Oliver had gotten to Luke. He manipulated him into thinking Noah hadn't loved him. "Don't you see this is Oliver speaking!"

"No, Noah. If I was Reid, I would be silent, forcing myself to be mature and not insult or punch you. This is not Reid talking. This is me. After a lot of thinking, something you should have been doing in the last few months because you still think Reid is the reason we're not together and he's not. You need to wake up and get a clue Noah. I wanted to stay friends with you but not like this. You accusing my boyfriend of things you have no clue about, insulting me….You know what Noah. I don't need this in my life. When you've thought about things and got your head out of your butt, come and talk to me. Until then, I think it's better if we go our separate ways. "

"You really think he loves you?" Noah scoffed.

"I don't think so. I know so! Because unlike you, every single action Reid does towards me proves to me that he loves me. He doesn't make me feel like shit or that he's a Saint to agree to be with me! And…and" Luke was so pissed, he couldn't continue talking. "Think what you want Noah. Right now, I'm so pissed at you that I don't care. You need help Noah. You need to get your head on straight. Until then, please do us both a favour and stay the hell away from me!" Luke said, leaving Noah standing behind.

When Luke got home that night, Reid, Allison and Katie were in the living room waiting for him, each of them giving him a hug and offering to go punch Noah for him. They could see things had gone badly. But for once in his life, Luke wasn't crushed about his fight with Noah. Yes, what Noah had said and implied had hurt but it wasn't the end of the world….not anymore. Luke knew that if he was able to confront Noah, then he was able to do anything. Although things had gone badly, it was a necessary evil. Luke had needed this talk for a complete closure to his story with Noah. Maybe if the other boy drastically changed attitude and apologized, then they could be friends. But until then, Luke would live without Noah Mayer in his life and for the first time ever, he was okay with that.

AN: There you go for chapter 14. I hope you enjoyed it! I'm not too sure how the confrontation with Noah was so if you could tell me in a review, it would be so appreciated you wouldn't believe it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately don't own it. Reid would be alive because idiot Chris would have died from his idiocy.

**AN**: Here's another chapter! Read and enjoy! And review 'cause I really need feedback on this chapter.

Lily was frustrated. Noah had apparently not been able to convince Luke to give up his crazy idea of moving in with Reid Oliver. She just didn't know what to do anymore. She couldn't recognize her son. And deep down, she was starting to think maybe Holden was right and she was losing her son.

"How is my favourite business partner going?" said Craig, entering Lily's house, a smile on his face.

"Oh." He said noticing the look on Lily's face. "What's going on? Did Holden do something to upset you?" It wasn't news to anybody that Lily wasn't taking well the engagement between Holden and Molly.

"Yes and no. It's Luke actually. He…I don't know how to explain it"

"Well start at the beginning. It's usually how things work" He said, giving her a reassuring smile.

And so Lily did. She told him about how Luke and Noah were so good together until Dr. Oliver arrived, how Luke had left Noah to go out with Oliver, about her fights with her son and the one with her ex and how the Doctor had now manipulated her son into buying a house together.

"You say he manipulated Luke. How?"

"Luke is very naïve sometimes."

"It wasn't what I asked, Lily." He answered calmly. He had a feeling that his friend, and how weird was it for him to genuinely consider her a friend, didn't have the whole story.

"Lily, as much as I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm not a stranger to manipulation myself. I know the tricks of the trade. I've heard about Oliver. With Oakdale being so small, it was hard not to. If there's one thing I believe I know about the man, is that he's painfully honest. He's known for being very direct with people, always speaking what's on his mind. Are you sure Luke is being manipulated? A manipulator often pretends to play nice with people, Lily. That man has done everything but."

"How else would he have taken Luke away from Noah?"

"Relationships normally end for various reasons. Are you sure Noah and Luke didn't have problems before Oliver came? That Luke hadn't fallen out of love with Noah before? And even if he had fallen out of love with Noah after Oliver arrived here, it's not like you can control who you fall in love with."

Lily was pensive for a moment. She had thought Craig, being her friend, would have agreed with her, but it didn't look like it. She couldn't understand why.

"You really think Luke is in love."

"Lily….Luke fought with you, his mother, over that man. Would you fight with your family, separate yourself from it, for someone you didn't love?"

"I think Luke thinks he loves Oliver but he doesn't really know what love is!"

"Do we? My definition of love and your definition of love might be different. Does that mean we both never loved?"

"No" Lily admitted. Everyone expressed their love differently, it was true.

"Look, you know your son better than I do. When you think of how Luke has been these last few months, did he look like he was in love?"

"No…"

"Really think about it, Lily" Craig interrupted her.

"I…I don't know. Maybe he loves Oliver. It doesn't mean Oliver loves him back!"

"Well it's certainly not by refusing to meet the man that you will be able to see if Oliver loves Luke or not. How can you fairly judge the man when you haven't met him?"

"So you agree with Holden then." Lily said, hurt dripping from her tone.

"I don't think Holden handled it well. Accusing you like he did, did nothing but frustrate and hurt you. However, I believe he had a point. If you don't let Luke make his own decisions, your son will come to resent you for it. And you don't want that to happen. Trust me. I have a very difficult, almost inexistent relationship with my oldest son, and there's nothing I regret more. Don't make the mistake of pushing your son away. You admitted you didn't know some things. Ask about them. Talk to Luke about Oliver. Try to know him better before making a judgement about the man."

"I just want to protect Luke from getting hurt."

"I hate to say this but it's not what you've been doing. You've obviously hurt Luke if he couldn't even come and talk to you himself." Craig said as softly as he could. He didn't want to make the same mistake as Holden. He genuinely cared about Lily. "Besides, the more you treat him like a child, the angrier he will be with you"

"Just….talk to Luke calmly and treat him like an independent adult. Tell him about your worries. Make him understand your motivations and then he'll share his. You'll see. Things will get better this way." He said putting his hand on Lily's, offering comfort. Lily silently nodded and accepted his silent comfort.

Luke lay awake in Reid's bed thinking. His boyfriend had long left for his shift at the hospital. Something was bothering Luke today. At first, he thought maybe he was still upset about his confrontation with Noah, but he soon realised it wasn't the case. Noah had hurt him but he didn't have that kind of power over Luke anymore. No. Something else was wrong. That's when it hit him. He knew what had been floating in the back of his mind. How had Noah known that he was moving in with Reid? He had only told his father…Of course! That's what had been nagging his mind since yesterday. His mother! As much as he didn't want to believe it, it was the only plausible answer; Lily Walsh was the one who had called Noah and asked him to talk to Luke. Suddenly, Luke felt a deep rooted anger wash over him. How dare she? Didn't she have any idea of what she could have caused? A few months before, a disastrous meeting with Noah would have left Luke completely devastated. He would have felt so completely worthless because of Noah's insults. Telling him he was only good for his money and sex, that Noah was a saint to stay with him even though he was an alcoholic, making him feel guilty yet again about his drinking problem….like that would help said problem any! No, yesterday he didn't feel worthless. He only realised the toxicity of his relationship with Noah even more than before and finally felt like he could move on. Still, it had hurt, but what hurt most was that his mother was the one who engineered the whole thing. His own mother had put him in a position where he could have been severely emotionally hurt. And she hadn't minded her own business and treated him like a child yet again. 'You know what?' Luke thought to himself, 'I have enough of this! Enough of running away from my mom. She has a problem with me and Reid moving in together than she'll have to tell me face to face instead of hiding behind a messenger! I'm not a child anymore. I shouldn't have asked Dad to intervene. Well I won't make that mistake again.' And with that thought, Luke got out of bed, fully decided to talk to his mother.

The closer Lily's house was, the angrier Luke got. He simply couldn't believe his mother. She obviously didn't know him well. It was about time he stopped letting her walk all over him and stopped avoiding her. If he could confront Noah, then he could confront his mom too.

"Mom!" Luke said entering the house. Lily came down the stairs.

"Luke. You're here!" She exclaimed, going to hug her son. Luke was so surprised that he stayed stiff in her embrace. "Have you changed your mind? Are you coming back home?" She asked hopeful. A part of her wished that her son had seen reason and the other part, the one that had listened to Craig, was scolding her for that thought.

For some reason, Lily's affectionate hug had made Luke lose it. Here she was playing the dutiful mother when she had sent Noah after him! Luke felt the anger take over him. "How dare you! How dare you act like you did nothing wrong! Like you didn't tell Noah I was moving in with Reid! It's not either of your business! God, do you know just what you did?"

"Yes, I tried to make you see sense!" She said, going on the defensive at her son's accusation, much like she had done with her ex-husband.

"No, you set me up to get hurt! What do you think would happen? Huh? What, you think Noah would have calmly sat down and talk to me like an adult?"

Lily looked at her son with a confused expression on her face. She wasn't sure what he was implying exactly.

"What do you mean?"

"Mom…Did you ever stop to think that there was a good reason why Noah and I were broken up and another one as to why we weren't talking anymore?"

"If Oliver didn't…."

"No! I'm stopping you right there!" Luke interrupted. "Reid has nothing to do with Noah and I. You and Noah need to open your eyes, Mom."

"To what? What is it that I don't see Luke!" Lily said, exasperated. She didn't understand. But she had to listen. It's what Craig had said; she had to give Luke a chance to explain things to her.

"You need to open your eyes to how much better off I am with Reid than with Noah"

"See I don't understand that! How can you think for a second that that man is better for you than Noah was? Noah and you were so happy together, honey."

Luke shook his head "Not for a long time. I've been miserable since before the accident. Noah didn't make me happy, Mom. Not any longer. You don't know how things were between us."

"Then please tell me because I don't understand why you're with Reid Oliver. I admit I might have been too quick to judge the man."

"Might?"

"Alright, I have been too quick to judge" Lily admitted. "But that's only because I wanted to protect you from getting hurt."

"That's funny because you did the opposite!"

Lily's expression sadden considerably. Luke felt his anger diminished. His mother seemed to be making an effort today. Perhaps he should make one too and try to settle this calmly. "Alright, look, I think we've fought enough as it is. Why don't we just sit down and talk about it like two adults."

"I agree" Lily said. She was glad her son offered her an olive branch. Maybe their relationship could heal from this after all.

"Noah made me feel like I wasn't good enough, like I didn't deserve him. He made me feel guilty over things that I wasn't guilty of. He constantly pushed me away after the accident and when I asked him to choose all over nothing….he chose nothing. And then suddenly, after his operation, he wants to date again, completely forgetting the hell he put me through. And then, when he saw me kissing Reid, he made it sound as though I betrayed him. But I didn't, Mom. We had been broken up for months and he had started going on dates with a guy named Richard. Did you know that?"

"No. No I didn't know that" Lily answered. Noah had never told her about Richard, not even the night he came to tell her he had seen Luke kiss another guy. She had always thought that Luke still wanted to be with Noah and was just waiting after the operation to make his move and that Dr. Oliver had seduced and manipulated him away from Noah.

"I understand that Noah hurt you when he pushed you away, but we don't know how hard it was on him."

"True, but it's no reason to treat me so bad and constantly implying the accident was my fault. It was an accident Mom."

"I know"

"Do you agree with Noah that I should be blame for it" He asked. He hoped the answer wouldn't be yes.

"No, of course not, honey. I never thought it was your fault and I never thought Noah seriously blamed you. What did you mean about Noah making you feel like you weren't good enough?" she wondered.

"It's just how I felt with him. Every problem was always my fault. I was constantly feeling guilty. I was constantly walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was giving my everything and receiving barely nothing in return. That's not a way to live, Mom. It's not healthy. I was so dependent on him that even after I stopped loving him, I still couldn't admit there was anything wrong with our relationship. I couldn't stop putting him on a pedestal and always defended him to Reid. It almost cost me Reid. But Allison came and talked to me and made me realise many things. Then I explained to Reid why I was always acting the way I was. Dating Noah…it was good at the beginning but then it turned sour. Noah…with the way he acted, he ended up killing all the love I had for him. And things haven't changed."

"What do you mean?"

"You really didn't know what would happen when you sent Noah after me, did you?" He said more to himself than his mother.

"The first thing Noah did was ask me if I was stupid. Then he implied Reid was only with me for my money and for sex and when I showed that he was wrong, then he said it didn't mean Reid would put up with my crap and that a lesser man than him would have dumped me a long ago with all the shit that came with me. One of which, he reminded me was my alcoholism. Like I needed reminding! You know what Reid said when I admitted I was an alcoholic. He didn't run away scared or made me feel guilty. He said he would go to reunions for families of alcoholics and he actually went and talked to Jack and Carly about what living with an alcoholic was like and asked how he could help me if I ever started drinking again. And he told me to stop feeling guilty about what happened to him."

"What happened?" Lily realised that there was a lot she didn't know.

"He worked non-stop after I broke things off. He could have killed himself with how he was treating himself and I felt so guilty when I found out. And yet, Reid did everything so I wouldn't feel guilty. The opposite of what Noah always did."

Lily was flabbergasted. She…she really didn't know her son and Noah, whom she had come to love like her son. And it appeared that she had misjudge Oliver as well. The way Luke now talked about him. She had never seen him like that. Even with Noah. He was clearly in love. Craig was right; all she needed was to really listen in order to understand. She had no clue that Luke had felt all those things when he was dating Noah. She always thought he was happy.

"I thought you boys were happy together."

"I wasn't. But I was convincing myself that I was. I clinged to Noah for much too long. I can see now that our relationship wasn't good. It was toxic."

"I never saw that"

"No offense, Mom, but that doesn't surprise me."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think you were happy with Dad?"

"Yes, of course!" Lily said.

"Then why did it always turn sour? Did you feel with Dad like you're the most amazing person in the world? Did you make him feel that way? Were you waiting for the other shoe to drop? Were you equally devoted to each other? Did you love each other's faults or did you resent them? Did he make you a better person? Or did you become with him a person you didn't like? With Noah, I felt like the latter." Luke stopped there. He didn't want to push the subject of his parents being an unhealthy couple. It would just hurt his mom at this point and their relationship couldn't afford to start fighting again anyway.

"Don't answer me. It's just something to consider when you think about Dad, you know. Noah and I were on again/off again and I don't think that's healthy. With Reid, it's the real deal. We love each other and are equally devoted to the other and most of all we love even the other's faults. I never had that before."

"I see. It seems Craig was right. I didn't act towards you fairly. I should have met your…your boyfriend before judging him. I think…I'm still scared you'll get hurt, but it's obvious now that you've been hurt before and I didn't even know about it. I guess it's time I finally let go of you. You're an adult now. You have to live your own life and make your own mistakes. But…I don't think being with Dr. Oliver is a mistake. Not anymore. I…I….if you say you love him and he loves you, then I trust your judgement. And I wish you both all the happiness in the world. I know it didn't seem like it these last few months but…I really only want what's the best for you and for you to be happy."

"I am happy mom. More than I've ever been. And I'd…I'd like it if you could come and meet Reid."

"Do you think it's a good idea honey? I doubt I made a good impression on him with the way we've been fighting about him."

"Well, Reid might be feeling protective of me, but not talking to him won't help. I know a part of you still probably wants me away from Reid and that part won't disappear until you spent time with Reid."

"Alright then. I'll come and meet him when you want me to."

"Great! Let's go!"

"You want me to meet him now?" she asked nervously. Suddenly, she felt that she had to make a good impression on the man if she wanted to mend her relationship with Luke. Oliver…Reid was so important to him.

"Well, we're moving in together in a matter of days. I'd rather my mom meet my boyfriend before I move in with him."

"Okay." Lily said, following her son out.

Luke knew his mother wasn't sure they were ready for this but Luke thought they had lost enough time already. Plus it was like ripping a band-aid. It's better to do it quickly than slowly. Plus, this way, Reid didn't have the time to say no.

AN: Okay, so I'm really not sure about how this chapter turned out. This wasn't my first idea. I thought at first Luke would fight with Lily, Craig would talk to Lily and make her see sense, than Lily would show up the day of the moving, apologizing and all but it's not what I wrote. Sorry for those who preferred that scenario, it's just my muse surprised me by changing plans. Is this okay? Was Luke too quick to forgive Lily? Or Lily too quick to change opinion?

**Please, please, please give me feedback about what you thought!**


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